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May 21 2006

Serenity: The MST3K Version. Truly spot-on MSTing of our favorite BDM.

I was laughing out loud with this one. I really love MST, and I could totally hear the character's voices when I read their lines. Hi-larious!

(Found the link originally at

I think this was my first truly out loud laugh:

DR. MATHIAS: I need to see your clearance.
TOM: ...Clarence.
This is gold.

MAL: Yeah, we're as ghosts in this. Won’t but rattle the floor.
JAYNE: Shiny. Let’s be bad guys
MIKE: So... everyone understand the plot? We're thieves and it's the future.

ENSIGN'S VOICE: Sir... we’ve found seven.
TOM: I only wanted one.

[ edited by TychoCelchuuu on 2006-05-22 05:52 ]
I actually almost choked to death once because I was trying to eat breakfast while watching MST3K. There was a Heimlich maneuver and everything. Laughing and eggs don't go together, kids. ;)
Luckily, I chose not to eat while reading this.
I laughed out loud. A lot. :)
Great link; thanks for the post, AFF!
Actually, I owe my thanks to finding this thread just now.

I really loved it, couldn't point out all the lines that made me laugh cause, well, so many did! Really love all the running gags.

Oh, and : KAYLEE: I'm starting to lose some feeling here...
TOM: So we better have our sex right now.

And... ok I was gonna actually look for more and gave up since they're all so good, may-as-well just post the whole thing. And there's a link to that so I don't need to. ;-)

(editted to end the italic tag from somewhere)

[ edited by AnotherFireflyfan on 2006-05-22 05:55 ]
This made me cackle out loud:

MAL: Poison?
CROW: Bon Jovi?
TOM: Whitesnake?
CROW: Cinderella?
MIKE: Great White?
TOM: Motley Crue?

Thanks for this link, it's very amusing!
I think Joss would get a kick out of that. Too bad we can't get the MST3K guys together to record it.
I think that the ending sums it all up:

CROW: So.... this movie failed at the box office?
MIKE: Well, it didn't do that well.
TOM: And the TV series got cancelled after just fourteen episodes... ?
MIKE: Um... eleven, actually....
CROW: But American Idol, The Apprentice, Survivor, shows like that, are hugely popular....
MIKE: Yeah, I guess. Kids sure seem to like them.
CROW: You know, Mike... I hate to say it, but I think you may actually be better off being stuck up here in outer space.
MIKE: * sigh * You may be right.

Great link!
I always thought the MST crew should razz "Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie, that is)"..with the real Buffy helping them out. It would have been the greatest TV crossover ever!
This is the next best thing, though. Imagine what Mike, Crow and Servo could do to Reese Witherspoon romantic comedies.

[ edited by impalergeneral on 2006-05-22 08:00 ]
THE OPERATIVE: But you’re fighting a war... you’ve already lost.
[Mal disables The Operative]
MAL: Yeah, well I’m known for that.
TOM: I even put it on my business card.

I want business cards that say that!
THE OPERATIVE: She is an albatross, Captain.
MIKE: (as John Cleese) Albatross!!

Oh my god.
What flavor is it?
"What flavor is it?"

It's albatross flavor!

That was just a joy to read. Funniest thing I've read in ages.

MAL: Love. You can learn all the math in the ‘verse but you take a boat in the air that you don’t love, she’ll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down. Tells you she’s hurting before she keels. Makes her a home.
MIKE: It’s all in the manual. You can look it up.

Definitely laugh-out-loud funny. It's a good thing my neighbour is away for the weekend, because I'm sure I would have wakened him laughing so loudly! Thanks for the link, AnotherFireflyfan. I only caught a couple of episodes of MST3K but I always enjoyed it.
MAL: This is the captain...
MIKE: Our movie for this flight is the classic, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”....

This is making me laugh. Great pairing!
god I miss those little guys. And Frank.
Man, that was great.

And, yeah, I would've picked the quotes that made me laugh, but there were just too damn many.
Yep, this is a great read. I managed to tone in the out-loud laughter (work-type environment), till I hit this one:

ZOE: How much ammo do we have?
JAYNE: Three full mags, and my swingin’ cod.
CROW: An adulterous fish really isn’t going to be of much help to us right now, Jayne.

Whee! :-). Great link.
The one that got me was:
[Kaylee looks down on the body of dead child, horrified]
MIKE: Man, he owed me money, too....

The baby-Jesus-dirtnap kid is still comedy gold!
I can't come up with anything clever on my own, but as I read this and chuckled heartily, I kept wondering what the invention exchange would've been for this episode... or what the end clip would've been... comic gold!
Here's the two that made me giggle out loud:

THE OPERATIVE:  I’ve seen your war record.
TOM:  It had a nice beat and you could dance to it.
CROW:  I think it was Spill The Wine.

ZOE:  How much ammo do we have?
JAYNE:  Three full mags, and my swingin’ cod.
CROW:  An adulterous fish really isn’t going to be of much help to us right now, Jayne.
MAL: My ship don't crash. She crashes, you crashed her.
MIKE: Yeah... bite me, Cap'n.
TOM: (as Mal) Huh? You say something?
MIKE: No, no... everything's shiny... (under breath) ...ya big jerk....

I can actually imagine Kaylee saying this.

DR. MATHIAS: I see no listing of rank or name...
THE OPERATIVE: I have neither.
CROW: But you can call me Larry.

Oh, man. Not gonna be able to watch the film again without calling the Operative 'Larry' in my head.
That was the funniest thing I've read in a while. I don't think I'll able to watch Serenity the same way anymore.
This so ROCKED! Best. Link. Ever. Yay AnotherFireflyfan! :-D

Every line was just so MST3K, it reminded me how much I miss those guys. And the 'Verse, of course. Bringing them together is shinier than I can put into words -- a really loud "woo-hoo" will have to do. WOO-HOO! ;-)
KAYLEE: Some years back, there was call for workers to settle on Miranda.
TOM: Oh my God, Kaylee, do you ever talk about anything besides sex??

So many lolz in this one.
This is the best damn anything since "Serenity in 2000 Words."

WASH: I think we need to talk to Mr. Universe.
MIKE: Mr. Universe? How the hell is a bodybuilder gonna help us???
I couldn't help myself, and before the movie was released I saw a bit of the IMDb page, and saw a character named "Mr. Universe." I was very confused, and thought Joss was actually making a bodybuilder a character. Silly me.

Oh, and the MSTing is pretty good:

THE OPERATIVE: Would you be killed in your sleep like an ailing pet?
CROW: (as Mathias) Yeah, actually, that sounds great. Can we do that?
Hi everybody, I'm the author of Serenity: The MST3K Version.
Just wanted to say thanks for all the great comments!

For the person who wondered what they'd use for the end clip- my vote would be for either "I swallowed a bug" or, more likely, right after that, the wide shot of Wash alone on the bridge saying "...hello...?"

Oh by the way, I occassionally add new lines as they occur to me...


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