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Whedonesque - a community weblog about Joss Whedon
"The curtains close. On a kiss god knows. We can tell the end is near."
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July 29 2006

Presenting... FireWhedon! Damian Conway, at the Open Source Convention in Portland, Oregon, gives a talk on (don't ask) "Maximizing Non-stakeholder Buy-in by Leveraging Depatented Generic Information Transfer Protocols". In essence a "public flogging" of various aspects of the technology industry, the talk included the following sudden and random shout-out: "We thought that we might call it... firefly, fireangel, firebuffy. Then it became obvious - the new browser is called FireWhedon."

"Through strategic partnering with key open software innovators, a future world of web-enabled meta-applications based on decoupling market-driven accessible standards and demand-empowered decentralizable development will soon be realized. In this ground-breaking presentation, Conway will unveil his revolutionary emerging business model, built on a synergistic vision of sustainable corporate uptake of open software deliverables on a levelized playing field in both vertical and diagonal markets.

Yup, that sounds like our Joss -- the profound existential issues, the patented snappy dialogue, the everso-hip lingo, the wanton disregard for innocent character-life -- wait, what the hell does that sentence even mean?

I decided to seek help from AltaVista's Babel Fish Translator -- in honour of the international flavour of this BLOG, and acting on the theory that five languages are better than one, I ran it through English to French, French to Dutch, Dutch to German, German to Italian, and then Italian back into English again, and finally got something I could understand:

"From the strategic association with the open innovators of software of the key, a future world of the méta-applications of the opeenvolging-toegestane that on the accessible champions of the market of disengagement and the development decentralizable have been based, eisen-toe:staan will be realized soon. In this presentation of inauguration, Conway the relative model will reveal that the revolutionary of the matter, that it is established on a taken sinergica vision of of the society bearable of the deliverables opened of the software of the sourish levelized ago to introduce the field of the game on the vertical and diagonal markets."

There, now that's our Joss.

(This is, of course, a cool thing. Who doesn't want their name mentioned in the same breath as "Fire?" But "FireWhedon" sounds like an executive order from the front office. Can't we just call him our "FireJoss?")
No, don't FireWhedon, he's good at his job. FireJoss sounds better. FireBuffy amuses me. It makes me think, "Fire bad, tree pretty" and "Fire, angry!" Hee.
I think FirebadTreepretty should be the name ESG.
I vote for FireFoxExecs.

Yes, I'm still bitter. :)

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