Whedonesque : Comments on 11627 : Warren Ellis has pictures of Joss in London.

I think that Buffy would perfer Captain Pecard.

embers | October 18, 05:11 CET

That's hysterical! I'm recovering from bronchitis and I shouldn't be laughing this hard. Oh lord.

Tonya J | October 18, 05:14 CET

I'm thinking Kirk.

TychoCelchuuu | October 18, 05:16 CET

Yeah, maybe Kirk at first, but then Picard who has some Spike-like qualities comes along...

dreamlogic | October 18, 05:18 CET

Joss has Tron shoes.

jam2 | October 18, 05:31 CET

Blinding your friends in the interests of capturing their images is pretty funny... I think he might've stolen their souls with that light.

I think the unidentified SFX Magazine person might be Steve O'Brien, News Editor. Or I'm just flat out wrong.

Still looking forward to the interview/gab session/whatever that will eventually appear in SFX from this meeting. And so glad that earlier info posted about it led me to discover Natalie Haynes. She's a hoot. (There's new stuff up since the last time I posted this link, and if you find that you like her, you can sign a petition to get her latest show out on DVD.)

ET: close tag and prevent wanton italicizing.

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2006-10-18 04:22 ]

QuoterGal | October 18, 06:21 CET

When I saw the headline, I thought "Warren" was referring to Adam Busch, heh.

[ edited by fortunateizzi on 2006-10-18 04:23 ]

fortunateizzi | October 18, 06:22 CET

Personally? The first pic made it look like Joss had a bright light stuck down his pants and had popped his fly to use it;)

Still...only two pics? Damn it...now I gotta go and get the SFX issue when it comes out:(

Oh well...money well spent:D

BlueEyedBrigadier | October 18, 08:14 CET

Dude, Buffy has had sex with someone who is nigh on 250 and someone who is about 120. She has a daddy complex, not to mention a problem with necrophelia.

Kirk/William Shatner fits both bills.

Shiny pics, tho.

havok | October 18, 09:22 CET

Havok, how can you say so? James T. Kirk isn't due to be born until 22 March 2233, so I think she is the one who would be doing the cradle robbing here! She was hit on by vampires far older than her, and somehow the folks at SFX think she is going to prey on future Enterprise Captains hundreds of years younger than herself (it is a sad sick world).

[ edited by embers on 2006-10-18 08:12 ]

embers | October 18, 10:10 CET

That first pic makes me think Joss is auditioning for the role of Mulder in The X-Files.

Simon | October 18, 10:15 CET

Cool. So you're down the pub with a few pals and then at kicking out time Warren Frikkin' Ellis ! (TM) says "OK, everyone back to mine ! Joss Whedon intends to sniper his own willy and we can talk about X-rated Buffy/Star Trek cross-overs [possibly]". Not a bad night out methinks ;).

(in slightly related news, BTW, apparently Ellis is stopping NextWave as an ongoing series at issue 12, boo !, but carrying it on as a series of limited series afterwards, Yay ! - purely a financial decision apparently)

Saje | October 18, 12:06 CET

Joss Whedon intends to sniper his own willy

Dude! I've said it before & I'll say it again: Where do you get this stuff? I'm laughing so hard I can't guarantee my typing.

Semi-seriously, thank you *big time* for the laughs there, Saje! Laughs've been in short supply since The Big One hit Sunday. Terra still doesn't feel so firma, but now, with Joss & his willy images . . . or something . . . anyway, the firma-less-ness is because I'm ROTFLMAO, not the floor rolling all by itself. Did any of that make any sense? Whether or no it did, thank you.

SangChaud | October 18, 12:42 CET

You're very welcome SangChaud ;).

(sorry to hear about the quake, BTW. Last I heard there were no fatalities, is that still the case ? Cos if an earthquake can ever be seen as lucky, i'd say you guys dodged a bit of a bullet in at least that regard, some consolation at least)

Saje | October 18, 13:08 CET

SangChaud, it's always a deep shock when terra demonstrates its firma-lessness. I wish I'd had here to come to after the Northridge quake. You know, when the power came back on.

dreamlogic | October 18, 13:26 CET

Saje, no fatalities, thank TPTB! And, last I heard, the most serious injury was a broken arm. Mostly just cuts, scrapes, bruises. And that in the wake of a 6.7 quake, with a 6.0 aftershock about 10 minutes later! We were incredibly lucky. So lucky it's almost scary. . . .

And, dreamlogic, yeah, "when the power came back on." When. Took a while. So you experienced the Northridge quake. Comrades-in-arms, we are. Though, if memory serves, what you went through was a lot worse than what we got last weekend. And you're right, coming here helps--with a lot of issues!

Okay, I wandered way, way OT there. So. Everybody down the pub! I'm buying! Unless we can go someplace else & Joss'll bring his, erm, lights. . . .

SangChaud | October 18, 13:47 CET

Joss Whedon intends to sniper his own willy

Please do not make me choke on my tea in the office again. :o)

gossi | October 18, 14:09 CET

gossi--did it come out your nose?

SangChaud | October 18, 14:16 CET

somehow the folks at SFX think she is going to prey on future Enterprise Captains hundreds of years younger than herself (it is a sad sick world)

I'm assuming you know that that entire conversation took place in Warren Ellis' drink-addled pate? Not that that makes it any less a sad sick world :)

gossi said:

Joss Whedon intends to sniper his own willy

Please do not make me choke on my tea in the office again. :o)

and Saje said:

gossi--did it come out your nose?

Let's all just assume that Saje meant the tea, okay? :)

zeitgeist | October 18, 18:25 CET

You crazy blue dude, that wasn't me that was SangChaud. Quick, do your special SAS stealth-editing so that no-one will ever know.

Apart from by reading this post. Um, oops ;).

Saje | October 18, 18:47 CET

Oh, the embarassment! Yes, it was SangChaud, but they both start with 'S'... like 'shame'.

zeitgeist | October 18, 18:57 CET

...and after that previous comment you *should* be ashamed, even if you had gotten the players right. Tisk, tisk, you bad boy.

(Looks around to see how many people in the office heard me laughing.)

newcj | October 18, 21:44 CET

"Joss has Tron shoes"...

jam2, that is very, very funny. I want the t-shirt! :D

Oh, and Kirk. No contest (I would choose differently for myself, but that ain't the issue - mmmm, Picard...).

Willowy | October 18, 22:05 CET

Just remember--James Marsters was almost cast as a young Picard(-clone). That makes the choice fairly obvious. ;-)

Niels(Telltale) | October 19, 01:04 CET

I still am laughing about the weird lighting that makes it look like a portal to another universe is opening in Mr. Whedon's, er, pants. Anyway, my vote is for Buffy and Picard -- Angel and Spike may have been older men, but they were both sex-ay and from the UK, much like Picard -- and Willow and ~~Troi~~ ~~Janeway~~ 7of9.

Too much information? ;-)

[ edited by billz on 2006-10-19 04:07 ]

billz | October 19, 04:00 CET

Oh no, Buffy would go for Mr. Grim, Worf (she can't help herself you know, tall, dark, brooding, violent).

Tonya J | October 19, 04:51 CET

Good point, Tonya J. And I have a feeling Buffy would be game for reciting the bad poetry and throwing the heavy objects that makes Klingon foreplay so, er, playful. ;-)

billz | October 19, 06:05 CET

the weird lighting that makes it look like a portal to another universe is opening in Mr. Whedon's, er, pants

Dang it, billz, now I've got "There's a Portal in My Pants" stuck in my head.

ETA: I can't be the only one who sees series potential.

ETA: *(announcer voice)* "Come with us . . . on an exciting journey . . . through the pants . . . of genius."

ETA: Pants Trek: The Next Degeneration?

ETA: Lost in Pants?

ETA: Quantum Pants!

ETA: Nathan! I've got it!

ETA: Top Three Favorite Series Quotes:

3. "The portal's opening. Quick--there's not much time!"

2. "I'm coming after you, just hang on!"

1. *(looks at own pants)* "It's happening again!"

ETA: Critical Raves:

"Like early Doctor Who, but cheaper."

"Don't sip tea while reading, SangChaud."

[ edited by Pointy on 2006-10-19 04:31 an absurd number of times]

[ edited by Pointy on 2006-10-19 23:22 ]

Pointy | October 19, 06:22 CET

billz, that weapon idea tickles me no end. I tried to find a Klingon phrase for, "Buffy. We will now increase our skills with the Bat'leth," but no luck (The Bat'leth has some similarity to Buffy's Scythe in Season 7).

Tonya J | October 19, 06:43 CET

The Six Million Dollar Pants
Wonder Pants
Lois & Clark: The New Pants of Superman
The Greatest American Pants
Buck Rogers in the 25th Pants
Earth: Final Pants
My Favorite Pants
Alien Pants ( or Pants Nation)
Batpants
Third Pants From the Sun
The Bionic Pants
The Thunderpants
Battlepants Galactica
Voyage to the Bottom of the Pants

Please help me.

QuoterGal | October 19, 07:00 CET

Shiny! My plans for world domination through (a) programming about pants and (b) traditional Klingon mating rituals (with appropriate weaponry) have taken off at last, thanks to my mighty army of Pointy, Tonya J and QuoterGal! Come, other Whedonesquers, join us! Invading Spain with kittens will pale in comparison to taking Canada with Buffy the Pants Slayer (c'mon, minions, don't tell me you didn't see that one coming) and The Saga of Kah'less (Uncut/Unrated Version). ;-)

billz | October 19, 07:39 CET

zeitgeist, I'm crushed.
Nah. But still. . . .

And. . .
The Last Time I Saw Pants
Gone with the Pants
How I Met Your Pants (!)
Conversations with Dead Pants
Welcome to the Pants
The Harsh Light of Pants (ahem)
Star Pants

Stop me before I pants again. . . . This is all your fault, QuoterGal. ;^}

SangChaud | October 19, 08:00 CET

Oh, and Pointy, your last post made me choke on my tea. And the tea came out my nose. That's tea, people!!

SangChaud | October 19, 08:06 CET

Pants Candy
Inca Mummy Pants
Out of Mind, Out of Pants
Bewitched, Bothered and Bepantsed
Fool For Pants
Once More With Pants
Train Pants
Out of Pants
Our Mrs. Pants
Objects in Pants
I Will Remember Pants
To Shanshu in Pants
Are You Pants or Have You Ever Been
The Thin Dead Pants
There's No Pants Like Plrtz Glrb
Waiting in the Pants
Shiny Happy Pants
A Hole in the Pants
Why We Pants

(Oh, dear god, people, will the pants never end? Don't encourage me, Pants Army. Why can't I stop? Please, won't you?)

QuoterGal | October 19, 08:58 CET

[Enabler] This one has been brewing in my mind:

Mad Buffy: Beyond Thunderpants

Tonya J | October 19, 09:05 CET

SangChaud, thanks for joining our ranks! Let's raise our pants high, er, and salute them! Yes!

And now, a salute to the theme programming on Fox:

Pants Point
Andy Richter Controls the Pants
Arrested Pants
Pantsoff
Pantsarama
Major League Pants Play-offs
Pants Confidential
Dark Pants, and
Pants Angel
The Pants-Files
and of course
Firepants, and
Pantsfly

*must stop joking before joke stops being funny -- but so far, so good* ;-)

billz | October 19, 09:49 CET

Welcome to the International Order of Beating-A-Joke-To-A-Painful-And-Lingering-Death And Better-Television-Through-Joss's-Overly-Lit-Pants-Portal & Bat'leth Arts Brigade. Acceptance of membership is, of course, optional, but signed membership cards and bench warrants have been issued regardless to the following ~~perpetrat~~ people: Pointy, billz, Tonya J, SangChaud and QuoterNebbish.

Thanks for playing, and don't let the door hit you on your way out. Personal effects, yellow crayons, and sharp or blunt objects will be restored to you as you disembark. We are not responsible for any loss of consciousness that may have occurred while writing or reading this portion of the thread. Objects in space are or may appear closer than they are or appear to be.

QuoterGal | October 19, 10:27 CET

So instead of adding the words "in bed" to any fortune cookie fortune, we are now substituting the word "pants" for the most appropriate - or should that be inappropriate - meaning ;-). The only one I can come up with at this time of night (early morning) is
End of Pants

billz, what do you mean, 'take Canada'? You already have an invitation to visit, but nobody will be taking the country anywhere without express written permission, and that won't be happening any time soon. And if you're coming, you better bring the kittens. They'd be much better off here than in Spain. They probably have quarantine regulations there!

Okay, *making list*, we have billz, newcj, saje, barest_smidgen and of course zeitgeist coming so far. It looks like the beginnings of a Whedonesque party!

samatwitch | October 19, 12:01 CET

Well, with everyone dividing up Europe in an earlier thread, I grabbed Canada, which seemed a good way for me to have my own country, yet not get wet from all that inconvenient ocean-crossing. Yes, I felt very embarrassed when you so nicely invited me after I had already declared my intentions. (I wonder if Hallmark makes a card for this sort of occasion?) Now I'm thinking maybe I'll leave Vancouver a free-zone, what with all my benevolent rule and all. I'd be happy to put you in charge! And of course we'll bring loads of kittens; after all, we are guests, and I didn't know if you would prefer red or white wine! ;-)

billz | October 19, 12:35 CET

The Unbearable Lightness of Pants

(must be thongs)

redfern | October 19, 18:03 CET

Miss Lonelypants
Looking for Mr. Goodpants

(must have been done already, but I don't remember . . . )

Pants of Fire

(no, Terence and Philip have already been there . . .)

[ edited by Pointy on 2006-10-19 16:54 ]

Pointy | October 19, 18:40 CET

What's that you say? Song lyrics haven't been explored yet? This thread shall soon pass, the light coming out of Joss' pants will fade, so have fun while ye may, release the bats from your belfry:

Sometimes it's hard to be a writer

Giving all your love to just one show

We'll have bad times

And you'll have good times

Doin things that we don't understand

But if we love you

We'll forgive you

Even though you're hard to understand

And if we love you

Oh, be proud of us

Cause after all we're just the fans

... Cue the chorus, Stand By Your Joss

Tonya J | October 19, 18:43 CET

Awwwwww, that's sweet, Tonya J

ETA We're super-fans. Some of us have hats.

[ edited by Pointy on 2006-10-19 18:48 ]

Pointy | October 19, 20:27 CET

*(smacks own head)*

The Twilight Pants

Pointy | October 19, 21:33 CET

So unrelated to the Joss-verse, but I just need to write it:

The Remains of the Pants

I even googled the movie & Joss together so I could spin some relationship... find a quote... make some case for their connection ("People who bought Serenity also bought Remains of the Day") but it was no good.

In expiation, let me also add:

The Pants at the End of the Universe

and my very heartfelt personal assurances that I will never do this again (although it's tempting 'cause you guys are just the laughiest) *fingers may be crossed behind back*

ETA: The loosest connection imaginable between Joss and Remains of the Day, and the sick thing is that I persisted 'til I found it. Why? -- because I knew I remembered it, and it's pretty funny:

"TIME: One of the best novels I read this year was Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro. They don't come much more highbrow than Ishiguro, but this was set in an alternate universe where humans are being cloned and having their organs harvested. Not only can Ishiguro do that, he can do that and hardly anyone even remarks on it.

JW: It's Remains of the Clone! It's absolutely just his sensibility, with that one little twist that you have to call it science fiction or fantasy to an extent. Nobody would not consider it a serious classical novel." -- TIME Magazine interview with Neil Gaiman and Joss Whedon, by Lev Grossman, Sept, 2005.

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2006-10-20 08:32 ]

QuoterGal | October 19, 22:12 CET

Laughiest and possibly silliest ... Though I do Stand By My Joss - perhaps I'll sing that to him one day.

Tonya J | October 19, 22:33 CET

"(What's So Funny About) Pants, Love, and Understanding?"

bobster | October 20, 00:55 CET

Warbles,

What's it all about, Spike?
Is it just for the moment you live ...
_______________________

You can't always get the show you want
You can't always get the show you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get the show that you need
_______________________

Mal, Fly me to the moon
Let me play among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Serenity

In other words Wash, hold my hand
In other words Jayne, baby kiss me

.... I'm here all week folks, try the veal.

[ edited by Tonya J on 2006-10-19 23:57 ]

Tonya J | October 20, 01:56 CET

Boy, I leave the room for a few hours, and next thing I know -- karaoke! (Is Lorne here?)

*clears throat*

We are the champions, we are the champions... ;-)

billz | October 20, 02:21 CET

Since we've moved on to song titles (and lyrics - way to go, Tonya J), notably Elvis Costello (bobster), I now have a few additions:

Deep Dark Truthful Pants
Silky Pants
Either Side of the Same Pants
Watching the Pants
Brilliant Pants
I Still Have That Other Pants
Indoor Pants

Hey, this could be a drinking game. Substitute the word 'pants' for a particular word in a song and then have to take a drink whenever you screw up. Not that I'm advocating drinking, of course.

*hands in pockets, whistles, and wanders away*

[ edited by samatwitch on 2006-10-20 01:18 ]

samatwitch | October 20, 03:17 CET

"Green Pants"
Elvish Costello
Album: Charmed Forces

There's a smart young woman on a light blue screen
Who comes into my crypt every night.
And she takes all the red, yellow, orange and green
And she turns them into black and white

So you tease
Make romance
And you shine all the buttons on your green pants.

You can please yourself but somebody's gonna get it.

[ edited by Pointy on 2006-10-20 02:31 ]

Pointy | October 20, 04:18 CET

The Heart has narrow Pants
by Emily "She's Good Too" Dickens

The Heart has narrow Pants
It measures like the Sea
In mighty -- unremitting Bass
And Blue Monotony

Till Hurricane bisect
And as itself discerns
Its insufficient Pants
The Heart convulsive learns

That Pants are but a Wall
Of unattempted Gauze
An instant's Push demolishes
A Questioning -- dissolves.

(and 'specially for Jossir)

Duino Pants: Pant the Ninth
(excerpted)
by Rainer Maria Rilke (trans. Robert Hunter)

...Here is the home and
the time of the tellable!
Speak out and testify.
This time is the time when
the things we love are dying
and the things we do not love
are rushing to replace them,
shadows cast by shadows:
things willingly restrained
by temporary confines
but ready to spew forth as
outer change of form decrees.
Between its hammer blows
the heart survives--as does,
between the teeth, the tongue:
in spite of all,
the fount of praise.

More pants, more often. We await your pants.

QuoterGal | October 20, 05:21 CET

October 18 2006