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"And on the day the words flimsy excuse were redefined, we stood in awe, and watched."
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October 28 2006

Serenity vs. Star Wars. A highly amusing space fight article. Could Han take Mal? How would Kaylee fare against R2D2?

A very fun way to start my Saturday! Tks, Simon!
Ha! Very funny. I love the comparison between Book and Obi-Wan:
"They're both smart. They're both cunning. They both can kick butt, and we don't really know the true extent of how much.They're both dead." Harsh but true.
Dude, at least Simon Tam gets some, unlike tight ass Skywalker.

Same goes for Kaylee.
It's a close tie, but I think what tips it for me is one thing that Serenity has that the Millennium Falcon doesn't:

Plastic dinosaurs.


Oh dear, this made me laugh so hard the cats scattered to the four winds. Plastic dinosaurs! Wooooo. Of course, reading on, the thing about River and Leia beating up Jayne together is even funnier. And Wash and Chewie getting drunk together? Just classic.

[ edited by chickenbird on 2006-10-28 18:12 ]
Good find, Simon! Han against Mal? Not even going there, think we know how that would work out. Now, Kaylee eyeballing R2D2 gave me the giggles! "Wow! Spare parts!" Thinking our star wars robot would have ended up resting on cinderblocks.
What a great read!!! Thanks for sharing, Simon.
That was pretty funny but i've gotta say the Falcon has to kick Serenity's arse in pretty much every way (OK, except plastic dinosaurs ;). Easily one of my fave ships of all time.

And Horance Washburn ? Love the image of him and Chewie getting pissed together though.

(I can also see a scene with Mal and Han warily eyeing each other before JUMP CUT: to them both laughing, as drunk as lords boasting about their respective ships and past exploits and generally getting on like several houses on fire)
I gotta agree with havok for the Simon vs. Luke fight that at least Simon got some nookie from Kaylee...who wasn't his friggin' sister! I mean, the closest Simon got to anything inappropriate with River is the missing scene from Our Mrs. Reynolds when River pretends to be pregnant and wants to marry Simon ;D

And how can a true Serenifly fan not know Wash's first name?!? That's the sacrilege part, not saying Serenity could whoop the ass of the Millennium Falcon!

And I dunno if Kaylee would look at R2-D2 as a pile of spare parts or a really shiny piece of complex machinery (with a soul, gorram it!) she wants to get to know technically :D

And honestly, I would have put Inara and Leia up for a fight if we were going for canonical proof-based arguments, rather than Inara vs. Threepio and Leia vs. River. Cuz the similarities are too freaking obvious to mention...except here:



1) Education - both seem to be educated to about university-level, intellectually

2) Erudition - Alderaani princess and Guild Companion....yep, both brimming with manners, grace, diplomacy and other training for polite company

3) Self-Defence - harder to tell here...Inara's got mad skillz with a bow & arrow/bolt thrower (whatever the weapon she used at Mr. Universe's Moon was supposed to be), got beat down by The Operative (though let's face it...I think only River could have given him a beat down) and only once held a gun of either the conventional or energy projectile on someone. Leia, on the other hand, seems to be quite proficient with hand weapons but never got a chance to get hand-to-hand physical (unless you count her choking Jabba with her slave chain;D)

4) Love Interests - since I wanna discount Leia's smooch with her twin brother as something she would have avoided like the plague had she been aware, let's just stick with the obvious: Leia wants to get freaky with a scruffy space freighter captain who used to be an Imperial officer (Han), but can't because of silly social and personal issues between the two of them; Inara wants to get freaky with a a scruffy space freighter captain who used to be a Independent Army sergeant (Mal), but can't because of seemingly silly social and personal issues between the two of them.

Winner - Unless it was the only way they could save their fantasy snuggle-bunnies...I see a Wash/Chewie decision to head off to find a drink and commiserate about how stubborn and thick-headed (but admittedly attractive) their respective space captains are...

:D
Well I thought it was unfair pitting Wash against Chewie without taking into account Wash's real skill/function = flying; we all know that Wash could out pilot everyone on the Millennium Falcon put together! And even though Serenity doesn't have any foton torpedoes (something I'm deeply grateful about), it is clearly the more comfortable ride. I don't believe for a second that a couple of lonely bachelors like Han and Chewie would cook together and play jacks (or anything else, except maybe boring chess where the wookee always wins) together, but on Serenity you have great shared meals, love interests, and cool bathroom utilities in drawers.
I love both of these ships.

"What a piece of junk!"
-- Luke Skywalker, "Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope"

Mal: "Ship like this, be with you till the day you die."
ZoŽ: "Because it's a death trap."
-- Firefly, "Out Of Gas"
Fun article- though the irony is that in many ways I've always thought of Mal as the spiritual 'grandson' of Han Solo all along. (Star Wars did hit screens decades ago before Firefly after all, can't deny the timeline)

Would've thought it more fun to compare C3PO and Jane rather than Jane and Chewbacca, though. ; p
I'd rather live with... er on Serenity for the reasons the author stated. The millennium falcon has a cool captain (who is willing to shoot unarmed people if they're a threat to him), but it also has Chewie. Now I have a couple dogs, so I can only imagine the potential smell/flea problem that he might have. Plus he doesn't speak a human language, which might become annoying after ten minutes or so.

It's mentioned that we're exposed more to Serenity than we are to the Millennium Falcon. This is true, but if we imagine what the Millennium Falcon might look like given what we know of Star Wars and George Lucas we can assume that Serenity is more homey than the Millennium Falcon.

[ edited by Caleb on 2006-10-29 00:06 ]
Comparing Star Wars to Serenity is like comparing a first crush to a soul mate. The first is all consuming for a brief time. The second is constant and ever present. I will always feel affection for Star Wars (Han, can you blame me?). How I feel about the Joss 'verse is best said by one of it's own.

"When I say 'I love you' it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength."

I guess that makes Joss a 'Hell of a woman'?
That was fun but I would have picked Mal over Han!
Let's see -- my crewmates would be Zoe, Kaylee, Inara, River and some guys (one of whom is a really good doctor, big plus), or -- Chewie. Yeah, I'm gonna have to think a real long time about this one; let me get back to you on that. ;-)
"I love both of these ships."

I thought we weren't supposed to discuss ships on Whedonesque...
holymother, that's an excellent analogy and exactly how I feel about both. And Spike's speech always breaks my heart. That may be my all time favourite scene from the Buffy 'verse.

Great find, Simon. For me, a fun way to end the day.
I think billz has the right idea. :D
Serenity is home-y-er.

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