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August 29 2007

Latest Ripper rumour: British tabloid has casting news. According to a story made up by the Daily Star, Ripper has been greenlit and Joss wants Pete Doherty to play a villain in it. Needless to say, take this news with a very heavy pinch of salt.

Does anyone else hate that everyone calls him "Josh Whedon?" God, its not like his name is hard to pronounce/forget.

Also, I'm sure JOSS* wouldn't want a known drug addict (Who has been in and out of rehab like 50 million times.) to be involved in the series/movie/whatever its going to be. That's just asking for trouble.

The story is obviously false.
It's the Daily Star, no one here takes it seriously. But you can bet your bottom dollar that this story be seen as gospel on various entertainment news sites and blogs.
How do they get away with printing this obvious rubbish?

And printing Joss' age! The cheek! Especially when they don't even bother to get his name right.
LOL, that is incredibly funny. Without paying real attention, I spotted:
a) Josh Whedon
b) BBC series and
c) Fox network.

Where do they get these things?
A show made by the BBC, written by Joss. Fabulous!

But where to set it? I appreciate Ripper is English, but it would be nice to see the production avoid the obvious and set it in London (or any big city for that matter).
And now it's on NME: http://www.nme.com/news/30761

They spell the name Josh there too...
Our made-up cast is better than their made-up cast.
Our made up cast had The Clangers, of course it's better ;).

Not only is this the "Daily Star" (somewhere between "The Sun" and the "Daily Sport" for reliability) it's the gossip pages of the "Daily Star" which means they actually suck news out of the world. Anyone that read to the end, be assured you now know less news than when you started.

Thinking I may not buy a controlling interest in Pete Doherty just yet.
Um...well...at least the tabloids are talking about it...

That Josh, I tells ya.

And is it just me, or is the story idea of the haunted remnants of a rock star/poet actually really good? I can imagine fantastic possibilities.
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Ahahahahahaha. Hahahaha. Aaaah. This made my day.

Prepares for the torrent of news stories from websites around the globe who will report this.

Background: Pete is a heroin user who squirted his blood at an MTV camera man, amongst other things, over the last few years. He's a dick of amazing proportions.

[ edited by gossi on 2007-08-29 15:21 ]
Apparently tomorrow they are going to run a story saying that Giles will be played by Priyanka Chopra.

The Daily Star was the paper that ran a story back in 2003 that Aussie pop star Holly Valance would play Buffy in season 8.
Wouldn't Joss need someone that's actually coherent to play the role?

Speaking as an ignorant Yank, which papers have the reliable info in England? I know The Sun and The Daily Star are tabloids, but which ones does a person read for semi-truthful news?
How long before this is picked up by IMDB and then that story is picked up by E! and reported as truth? Just like Josh casting all those people for Wonder Woman...
Speaking as an ignorant Yank, which papers have the reliable info in England?


The Guardian, The Times, Daily Telegraph and The Independent. Then comes The Daily Mail, followed by the Mirror, The Sun, Daily Express and the Daily Star right at the bottom.
It is going to be so much fun watching this appear everywhere as gospel. Perhaps those who go so far as to google the original story will add gossi's "dick of amazing proportions" as a factoid in their reports.
Yeah but it'll get taken out of context and end up a compliment toast ;).

The Guardian, The Times, Daily Telegraph and The Independent. Then comes The Daily Mail, followed by the Mirror, The Sun, Daily Express and the Daily Star right at the bottom.

And even then, there're noticeable political biases with "The Guardian" and the Mirror being slightly left, "The Daily Telegraph" and "The Times" slightly (ahem ;) right and "The Independent" at least claiming the centre. The Express and Mail vie with each other for "Least Representative of Modern Britain" and occasionally "Most Fascistic".

(and surely the "Daily Sport" should be at the bottom Simon ? I mean, apart from Elvis working in a chip shop in Swindon and the London bus on the Moon none of their stories turn out to be true)

The Daily Star was the paper that ran a story back in 2003 that Aussie pop star Holly Valance would play Buffy in season 8.

Well in fairness, if you squint at the comic, with one eye, in a low light, it could easily be Ms Valance I reckon. Just with, y'know, slightly different facial features. And build. So not actually that bad for the Star.
That's kinda what I figured, Saje. Possibly there will be "candid photos" on Perez Hilton, and the like.
(and surely the "Daily Sport" should be at the bottom Simon ?


I don't count the Daily Sport as a newspaper. It's a nasty little piece of pornographic rubbish.
Also, someone should really correct The Star on their mythology. Crucifixes are not particularly useful against zombies...
I think something stronger than salt would be appropriate.
Yeah so this is about as likely as me waking up with fine pert D Cup breasts in the morning.

But still, although it appeals to the second lowest denominator in British Society (The readers of the Daily Mail get that sought after honour) its bought it at least to the attention of the public. DigitalSpy, one of the UK's major entertainment sites have just picked up the news, and there is already a discussion being bought up about it at the same website. So as far as I can tell thats good.
I don't think Joss (or Josh, for that matter) can afford to rule out all drug addicts when casting. Are there even any celebrity/actor types that aren't? I generally assume that they're all on SOMETHING, even if we don't hear about it. They are ACTORS, after all...some of them have to be good enough at their craft to be able to hide a pesky little addiction. (; A drug addict who is also "a dick of amazing proportions", however, does seem less likely. It will be fun to watch the fall-out of the article.
It's a nasty little piece of pornographic rubbish.

I think that's an insult to the nasty pornographic rubbish community ;). Now thinking about naked Elvis in a chip shop. Sounds ... painful.

Crucifixes are not particularly useful against zombies...

I dunno, if you had a really big, sharp one you could use it to "remove the head or destroy the brain". Job done.
As far as the crucifix is concerned, they were obviously reaching a little too hard to include the obligatory Kate Moss reference. Afterall, they could hardly say - "watch out, Kate, Pete is coming to eat your brains"....that might be a bit too close to the truth to appear in the Star.
They are ACTORS, after all...

Pete isn't an actor, WillowSlay, just for info.
WillowSlay, I think its a bit ignorant to suggest that just because you're an actor means you're on something. That's like saying just because you're gay you have AIDS.
Maybe it's like on Men in Black - the crappy tabs have the real real dirt.

"BBC2 at 8:00p

Ripper: Paranormal detective Rupert "Ripper" Giles and sidekicks Dead Wesley and Dead Cordelia investigate rumours of a haunted rock mansion gone wild, and discover the ghosts of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Keith Moon, Brian Jones and Sid Vicious raising hell in their Richmond manse. Hilarity ensues when Pete Doherty appears as a flesh-eating, poetry-spewing zombie.

I'm so there for anything Josh Whedon and Joe Swedon create.

ETA: Yeah, it just occurred to me that maybe the reason I didn't find more success as an international film star was that I didn't know that as an actor, I was supposed to be on drugs. I'll get right on that... if it's not too late. ;>

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2007-08-29 17:27 ]
Remind me who Pete Doherty is? He's not the guy who was in the celeb Big Brother house who looked like a woman is he?

This is the same paper that a few weeks ago said that Robbie Williams had been cast as the new Captain Kirk.

I wonder if they would recast Buffy and Angel as its very unlikely they would ever return.

British counterparts could be: Hayley from Coronation Street as Buffy and Roland from Grange Hill as Angel. Trust me people in the USA these actors are HOT stuff. I swear.
Let's be careful where this thread goes- I'm looking at you out of the corner of my eye, Bruce-WillowSlay's potential future conversation.
Pete Doherty is meaningless rock star who led a band called Babyfingers for a bit and is coupled with Kate Moss, and both are druggies. He's a notable sprat- stupid, drugged and useless. Joshua Whedon would have no interest in using him. Nor would Josephus Whedon or even Jah Whedon. Irie!
Grain of salt, indeed. Josh Whedon? Who are they trying to kid?

This article is giving me a craving for some yucky chips. I need more salt.
QuoterGal:
Ripper: Paranormal detective Rupert "Ripper" Giles and sidekicks Dead Wesley and Dead Cordelia investigate rumours of a haunted rock mansion gone wild, and discover the ghosts of Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Keith Moon, Brian Jones and Sid Vicious raising hell in their Richmond manse. Hilarity ensues when Pete Doherty appears as a flesh-eating, poetry-spewing zombie.


*snork giggle*

Ooooh, you can't possibly leave out Phantom Dennis. Cordy needs a potential love interest (and Wesley already had his flubbering go at her).
Pete Doherty is a rock singer and songwriter who was in The Libertines and currently leads Babyshambles.
It's reached Fark now, but at least they're spelling Joss's name right.
As a fan of both Pete and Josh Joss, I'd love for this to be true, just for the LOL factor. As a person with a brain, though, I'm pretty sure it's not.

It's strange, though, having been so long out of Whedon fandom and in Libertines fandom, to have my two fandom streams crossing in the media, as it were.
It's called "Smells Like Mean Spirits" and it gueststars Priyanka Chopra as Janis Joplin, Keith Richards as Phantom Dennis, with a camero appearance by Kate Moss as a spooky hatrack.
Maybe British tabloids get paid for every mention of Pete Doherty. At least from the high rats you could assume that ;-)
His music is widely appreciated.
Why does everybody always get so upset about him, spilling less than unfriendly words regarding his character. (It's not like he robbed your apartment to finance his addiction!) That's not usenet (nor the Daily Mail)!
Digital Spy have managed to keep the Joss misspelling AND spell Buffy wrong in a copy-paste. Just to keep up their fine tradition of reporting - "Beckham and Robbie Williams to star as the new gay couple on Desperate Housewives"

(And also I loved The Libertines, and feel pretty sorry for Pete.)
Why does everybody always get so upset about him, spilling less than unfriendly words regarding his character.

He's a class A drug addict criminally convicted celebrity role model who avoids prison as a monthly hobby. Here's a Youtube video of Pete, where he squirts his own blood everywhere from a needle during an interview.

I know this is Whedonesque, so I'll leave it at that, but the minute we start saying 'Hey, leave the guy alone! Cast him in Joss projects!' to somebody like this, is the minute I think society has literally become a celebrity obsessed shithole. I'm not saying you've said that, bookworm, I'm just offering the side of the coin here that if this is true, Joss actually needs his head examining. I don't think it's true.

[ edited by gossi on 2007-08-29 18:48 ]
Given that, out of groups of simialr size in "the Biz" conencted only by a single former employer, the Jossverse vets seem like about the soberest bunch around, well, bring your own sub-text....
Dachelle....
I'm right there with you. Well, I'm not a fan of Pete but I wouldn't mind seeing him try out his acting chops as a zombie. I think that would be a good role for him. I mean, the man looks zombie-ish. In no way is that a low blow to Pete, it's just fact. I'm all for it. Given he shows up on time and takes Joss's direction without being a git. Who knows, it COULD be true....but I'm thinking it's not. I wouldn't be surprised though.
My comment was intended in a more light-hearted tone than it came across, and I apologize to those I clearly offended. I was trying (and failing) to jokingly express an extremely jaded irritation with our society's "role models" being constantly exposed as addicts of one thing or another, and rehab being an acceptable form of apology for everything a celebrity (actor or otherwise) does. Maybe I AM just ignorant, and please feel free to think so, but I am happy to remain ignorant of the inner workings of that world.
*snicker* they called him Josh...*snort* Pete in a Joss production...*cackles*
DaddyCatALSO (I can never keep your caps straight ;-) - Word. Or, to elaborate, those who haven't been the soberest of the sober have - for the most part- cleaned up their acts.

Calling this crap gives crap a bad name.
For you, gossi, here's a clip of Pete performing "Lost Art of Murder" on Jonathan Ross, since he is, y'know, a musician and all. He's a drug addict, yes, but also a very gifted songwriter and performer, and quite a charming personality when he's not off his head on smack. It's sad that he has allowed his addiction to take over his life and overshadow his talent, but there are plenty of legitimate reasons why people, including me, would be interested in him. As far as being a role model, I don't see Pete as one, and I don't think he would claim to be one. You can be a fan without being blind, or needing your head examined.

Anyway, like I said in my LJ, it's the Daily Star. No way this is true.

[ edited by Dachelle on 2007-08-29 20:35 ]
Can you imagine how difficult it would be to insure Pete Doherty on set? With all the noise about Lindsay Lohan, I can't imagine any talent insurance firm would take him on. Joss Whedon (or Josh Wooden, or Jazz Whildren, or whatever the tabloids think his name is) would have to take on the liability himself, and grah. I don't see it.
Jazz Whildren?

Quick, gossi, register jazzwhildren.com and track all instances of media getting Joss' name wrong.
Jazz Whildren is a pretty sweet name, I think I'll change my nickname on Whedonesque to that... oh, also register Whildrenesque.com and start a blog at jazz.whildrenesque.com :)
Hoss Wheelwright? Wasn't he one of them Ponderosa boys, with that Green Lorne guy?
It's true - Jazz Whildren is wunderbar, Lupschada.

I'm gonna name all (but one) of my imaginary children Jazz Whildren. It will get confusing, but it's so worth it.
What the Huh? The Who?
How is little Jazzy today, QG? :P
How about Jazzy Whildren Jr. or maybe Jazzy Whildren III (because it's fancy).
Ah, the British tabloids, when have they ever lead us wrong.

Remember that brilliant 8th season of Buffy, when Buffy was suddenly Australian and couldn't act for toffee. Or when The Rani turned up in Doctor Who, and when there were loads of ghosts that blew up the Earth in Doctor Who, or when Dennis Hopper was going to be in Doctor Who, or when James Nesbitt was cast as the 11th Doctor Who.

I'm just pleased they've stopped talking b*ll*cks about Doctor Who for today.

They seem to just find a popular upcoming TV show, and then just make up absolute crap to fill inches, knowing full well that a load of websites will take it as fact, and that people on the internet will work themselves into a tizzy about it.

They're also rather fond of these types of celebrities, Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Amy Winehouse, hence how every so often they're a sure thing to be the next Bond girl/villain/theme song singer. Here they've just substituted the word James Bond or Doctor Who for Ripper.

[ edited by Ghost Spike on 2007-08-29 21:28 ]
Dachelle, it's a great song. Truly. The one reason I'm unusually outspoken about something like this is here: Pete is very, very well known in the UK. For his music? No. I'd say most people who respond to his name probably couldn't name a single song he's written. He's known amongst the public - and so the youth - because he's a druggie. By comparison, Joss Whedon is also an artist, but is known to probably 1/1000th of the people. To me, it's something flawed in society and worrying. If Pete gets himself together, I'm pretty sure he could become known as an artist as he's not lacking in talent.
Hizzoner Jazzstone Hearseforth Whildren III presiding, Jazz Whildren, M.D., Jazz Whildren Plays the Blues, Jazz Whildren, P.I. It's like the Swiss army knife of names, there's truly nothing it can't do. Jazz Whildren may in fact be the Ur name of which all other names are mere shadows. It even strikes the perfect balance between "distinguished" and "porn-star". Kudos Lupschada ;).

It will get confusing, but it's so worth it.

On the plus side, it makes it easy to call the kids in for (imaginary) dinner. Just don't imagine you burned it.
I don't care what anybody says, Jazzstone Hearseforth Whildren III is my new favorite fake name.
zeitgeist: "How is little Jazzy today, QG? :P"


"Sweetheart, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you, for both of us, I mean. Some rather sad news... I'm afraid our boy isn't coming home for his birthday... Our son is dead. He was killed late in the afternoon on a country road with his learner's permit in his pocket, and he swerved to avoid a porcupine, and drove straight into a large tree.. .I thought you should know."

I had to. It was time. It will be better.

Luckily, I have all of the other Jazz Whildren, Juniors (it's so fancy) to comfort me and carry on the name, as long as I remember what it is when I go to call them in for imaginary meals and doctor's appointments and bedtime...
Lupschada provided a rich canvas zeitgeist, I merely filled in a few areas with the appropriately numbered paints ;). Actually, how about Paint by Numbers for Geeks ? Only primes have an actual corresponding pot, the other colours require mixing as per the number's factors. Pat. Pending. TM. (C). Umm ... dibs.

Imaginary doctor's appointments ? Wouldn't that require imaginary diseases ? Is there such a thing as Munchausen's hypochondria by proxy ?
"...shivering source..." sounds really dirty for some reason.
Ech. It must be weird to see your work misconstrued in a tabloid. I wasn't under the impression that Whedon projects were tabloid-worthy (and I mean that as a compliment). Then again I'm not familiar with the British tabloids. They sound different than the U.S. versions. I don't really want to explore them though.
I wasn't under the impression that Whedon projects were tabloid-worthy (and I mean that as a compliment). Then again I'm not familiar with the British tabloids. They sound different than the U.S. versions.

Maybe not Joss (since they got his name wrong) but Buffy was more of a mainstream show and relativly a bigger ratings hit here. On both BBC2 and Sky 1 BtVS quite often got top ratings.
Won't somebody please think of the Whildren?
Maybe QuoterGal's kids could hang out with Flight of the Conchords' Bret McKenzie's kids.
Where does it stop?

Won't somebody please think of the Imaginary Whildren?

"They still have issues. They don't get taken seriously, and they have to deal with all the imaginary stuff, like rogue unicorns..."

I've been watching their show on HBO, but I hadn't seen that Flight of the Conchords performance clip - thanks for that, Vince. I looove them almost as much as my imaginary children.
Oh ye of little Faith. A different news source that is fairly reliable was eschewed by many the other day.

The news regarding "Ripper" appears elsewhere as well, not just "The Daily Star," so the key is to find out the source. Whatever it is, there appears to be more suggesting that "Ripper" will be a series, and not just a one-shot movie.
Perhaps Joss would be more popular and thus better spelt in the media if he 'fessed up and announced his addiction to, um, let me see... OH! how 'bout "Logodaedaly"? It sounds appropriately harmful, fascinatingly exotic, potentially addictive, and is -- even more importantly -- quite true. :-D
Oh ye of little Faith. A different news source that is fairly reliable was eschewed by many the other day.


What do you mean? Are Faith and our poor imaginary Whildren related?
New Spinoff:
A Slayer with a dark past, rides her motorbike across America, searching for the Lost Whildren...
Nebula1400: "Oh ye of little Faith. A different news source that is fairly reliable was eschewed by many the other day."


I kinda think maybe you misunderstood why most people were eschewing that particular block of Ripper-information, Nebula1400 - it wasn't the source so much - at least for me, it wasn't - as it was the internal contradictions within the one (I assume you mean this) syfyportal story, in which they quoted ASH as saying both that a Ripper project had been confirmed, and that ASH still had to contact Joss to see if he'd gotten permission from Fox to do it.

Ah, Cabbie, I've got it, too, though not as severe a case as Joss has - and I'm taking the meds religiously, as I hope you are. There's no rehab for it, as there aren't enough of us yet to rate a facility. But there is a special handshake and (naturally enough) a secret password.
We could all be famous. :D I can see the headlines now:

Whedonite secrets revealed! Followers discovered to be logodaedalists one and all!! Side effects include logorrhea with central and peripheral logomachy!!!
I've been watching their show on HBO, but I hadn't seen that Flight of the Conchords performance clip - thanks for that, Vince. I looove them...


Ditto. Maybe they should write the theme song for Ripper. And Murray could appear as a Watcher for 3 seconds like Brett did in the Lord of the Rings.

[ edited by Succatash on 2007-08-30 04:39 ]
When's this Josh guy gonna stop screwing up Josstradamus's reputation anyway?
If Pete Doherty isn't available for Ripper, I think the Frycook Elvis mentioned above would be awesome. If people don't have to be alive to be cast, then they don't have to be real either, right? This Daily Star sounds like an excellent imaginary talent pool - it's like BackstageWest for the unreal or substantially fictionalized.
Jazz Whildren...oh my God...today's my birthday, and...thanks for the present, Lupschada.
Bless the Beast and the Whildren?
There were Watchers in Lord Of The Rings?
heh

[ edited by Succatash on 2007-08-30 06:20 ]
Are Faith and our poor imaginary Whildren related?

Now that's just cruel and unusual. If you're gonna imagine kids and then imagine illnesses for them, at least don't imagine them poor as well, unfair much ?

My imaginary kids are very well off, don't you know. One of them owns an imaginary Rolls Royce and the other won the imaginary lottery (by playing imaginary numbers *rimshot* ;).
Happy birthday unpluggedCrazy.
QG, are you going to read your imaginary book to the tykes? And just to make them feel truly a part of your family, I believe that you should now become, Quoter "Jazz" Gal. And given Saje's children's imaginary wealth, I think a few playdates are in order.
Ah, missed that, happy birthday UpC, and many more ;).
And for those who can't get enough of un-news like this...
This story even found its way into the big German daily tabloid, and it's interesting how many mistakes could be squeezed into the three little sentences that the article consisted of. Josh Whedon (of course) is supposed to be doing a new British version of Buffy. And they even got the German Buffy title wrong. (They used the male form of "slayer", not the female ...)

And Happy Birthay, UnpluggedCrazy, have a good one!
Additional casting rumours include Tom Lenk as Andrew and "Whister" Max Perlich- no source given, though more likely, and a lot less random.
It's on the popbitch mailout this week, so it must be true... ,

Joss Whedon's long awaited UK based Buffy spin-off,Ripper, starring Anthony Head, starts filming next summer for BBC.

And Robbie Rist as their punching bag/sidekick, Oliver the Cataclysm Demon.
This is all getting very very weird. It's like the world's not a sane place! Who knew?

(And thanks for the well-wishes, Lioness, Saje, and Ariane!)
UPC - Happy Birthday!! Today is my husband's birthday too!!
.They're also rather fond of these types of celebrities, Pete Doherty, Kate Moss, Amy Winehouse, hence how every so often they're a sure thing to be the next Bond girl/villain/theme song singer. Here they've just substituted the word James Bond or Doctor Who for Ripper.


Remember that episode of South Park where they showed how Family Guy is written? I think they employ the same method for writing tabloids these days.
LOL, LOL, a thousand times LOL. I went out of town for a few days and forget to check back in this thread. I'm honored that my Jazz Whildren has such legs.

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