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"A vampire in love with a slayer. It's rather a maudlin sort of way."
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October 26 2007

A vampire couldn't be killed by Buffy says professor. It's that time of the year for silly season vampire articles.

is this guy cocoa pops?

or maybe im missing something. is this a joke article like the onion does?
Ah, that sinister "vampire lobby", misleading us for their own nefarious ends. I'm unconvinced, I think if I ever encountered a vampire I'd prefer Buffy to be there as well. :-)
I strongly suspect that this man is merely an unwitting pawn of the vampire lobby. What better way to create confusion and fear than to spread misinformation, particularly misinformation masquerading as setting the facts straight. When we come face-to-face with a vampire, now we just won't know what to believe, and in those moments of confusion, we're humped.
Perhaps he forgets that Buffy is preternaturally strong and her stake thrust is not the same as your average teen-aged girl's stake thrust.

I bet that would be a fun show, as long as he doesn't try to set too many facts straight. I've got a theory that at some point all the lights go out and vampires raid the audience. :D
Heh, I have to like someone who attributes actions to "the vampire lobby."
I bet she can kick the crap out of a professor, though.
You're likely right about him being a pawn for the vampire lobby, I'd check for emergency exits before I got too comfortable in that audience. :) Also, I love that I sang the 'I've got a theory' in cabri's comments, thank you OMWF.
What's a little freaky is that *I* did all the above, too- ruminated on this 'vampire lobby', sang 'I've got a theory', and spared a thought to 'Disharmony' as well!

But maybe, just maybe, I now have an answer for why Angel's reflection appeared in the puddles in the credits.
"This will be unusual stuff that maybe folks haven't heard."

I believe it.
I'd pay good cashy money to see this as a debate - this prof on one side (maybe with Maggie Walsh as backup) and Giles on the other side.

I think Buffy would just twirl her "Class Protector" umbrella and say, "Whatever." If Sunday hadn't smashed it, that is.
Will the Vampire people please leave the lobby...

Okay,I just had to say it. It had to be said.
For those of you that did sit through the agony, does this guy kind of remind you of the professor on the first episode of Moonlight?

And isn't saying certain things are "right" about vampires while other things are "wrong" kind of a moot point? There's been vampire myths for centuries. I doubt there's one "right" way to define them.
That was a LOL, madmolly But then so was the article. We all know the real truth about vampires. They're either incredibly hot (metaphorically, of course) or rapidly dusted. ;-)
Well, honestly, most pop culture vampire stuff (books, tv, movies) do not harken back to the origin of the vampire mythos. They've changed things to fit their own ends and to update it to modern sensibilities.

For instance there is a bunch of 'old' stuff about vampires not being able to cross running water, that they are obsessive about counting things (which is where the Count on Sesame Street came from), AND to kill them you have to do more than stake them. You have to stake them, cut off their head, bury them at a crossroads and that might not still be enough. Although sunlight is a sure killer most times.

So his statement about Buffy dispatching them with a simple staking isn't uncalled for...even if she does have super strength.

It just depends on what mythos you are buying into.

And NO I am not part of the vampire lobby...I say, the more you know the safer you are! Don't be fooled!
Let's not forget that most early vampire myths had them as repulsive, rotting animated corpses that were in no way, shape or form sexy or cool. And certain cultures went even further with the grossosity... one has disembodied heads floating around strangling victims with their trailing guts and intestines. So not quite the same hot "salty goodness" modern pop culture likes to portray.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say its a fun Halloween lecture every year :) Is the vampire lobby the thing they soemtimes call the vampire foyer? /duck
I just want to know which candidates the vampire lobby is funding (not that I don't have my suspicions). I know we've got some pretty blood-sucking politicians in office, but I hadn't realized it was quite so literal.
I take it this professer will also try to convince us that vampires aren't sexy and don't make the best lovers either. Well, we know different.
barboo, it's Fred Thompson. Remember, he was recently suspected to be one of the Gentlemen.
The Vampire lobby? Is that the place where the Vampire people can stay? Or do they have to leave there too?
Wow, this is old school. I respect that. It sounds like a fun history lesson. I'd attend if I was in the area.

ETA: He has severely underestimated Buffy's ability to kick undead ass, though.

[ edited by Sunfire on 2007-10-26 17:23 ]
Shey and luvspike... EXACTLY!

And although this contradicts what I just said, UnpluggedCrazy... yeah, definitely (shudder...).
Next they'll tell us vampires have no sense of humor!
TwelveDozen, of course they have a sense of humor:

Angel: Be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, Iím dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: Iím a funny guy.
Angel: I'm not your friend.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the point?
Barboo, you're thinking of Jonathan Sharkey. He's the vampire candidate and known as 'The Impaler.' He has a website but I lost it.

edit: The campaign site no longer exists.

[ edited by thatweirdgirl on 2007-10-26 19:51 ]
Hahah, that article amuses me. I don't know if this guy is serious or just goofing, but I'd love to sit in on that lecture.

Buffy can't really kill vampires? Has he even seen the show?

Vampire Lobby: a sub-branch of Wolfram & Hart maybe?

[ edited by ElectricSpaceGirl on 2007-10-26 20:18 ]
Yeah, I bet we'd see how fast he would change his mind about Buffy if he were pinned in a graveyard with a couple of the undead after him.
I imagine being pinned by unsexy, unfriendly vampires who are filthy, rotting animated corpses after your blood might change one's opinion about Buffy, too. Assuming she was around to save you, of course. Maybe if you were pinned by a Scottish vampire out on the moor, and she happened to brood by at the right moment.
The way vampire lore has evolved (explainign Dracula's countless -no, that wasn't deliberate- reappaearances) is that staking them down paralyzes them and also makes them vulnerbale tot hings like normal wepaons and normal fire which don't normally hurt them at all not even causing pain. Then the head is severed from the body and the mouth stuffed with garlic or Communion wafers (already blessed) then the head and body (or skull and skeleton if they're old enough) burned sepaartaely and the ashes buried or scattered again spearately. Decapitation by a magic weapon while they're still active and certain other magical attacks work also.(Sometimes they're vulnerable to normal fires.)

Having them dust immediately from staking or from decapitation by normal objects and vulnerbale to normal fires were just adjustments Joss made to, I'd assume, give Buffy a chance to defeat them. Ditto eliminating poweres like turning into a bat, wolf, or mist, mental powers, and so on, and having ordinary objects cause pain but no real harm. Joss presumably didn't like the idea (as in the vampire lasses closing in on the detectives in The Return of Count Yorga) of whole gangs of creatures that are not only almost invulnerable but can't even be slowed down.
Well, all that beheading and stuffing and burning and burying would really have eaten up a lot of show time.

Guess this professor thinks we're falling for the old Anne Rice routine.
Respect the stick.

Tame the prof.
I don't understand, do you mean the airspeed of a African or a European swallow?

There enough vampire myths (from different cultures) that I'm sure you could contradict almost any generality given.
"Vampire Lobby" - which got me to finally order Allyson's book - and Caroline's post gave me my first two snort-laughs this morning, and so I cannot praise them too highly.

This prof's humor is very... well, professorial and reminds me a little bit of the late Robertson Davies, who reportedly used to get all droll and mock-serious at Halloween, too...
Wait a minute.. is he saying someone made that whole Buffy saga up?
I bet Glory is behind this.
...he does know that vampires aren't... y'know... real... right?
I dunno, but either way, I wanna see him bring his test subject in and prove his hypothesis...

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