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November 20 2007

The 50 greatest fictional weapons of all time. Buffy's Scythe comes in at number 30 on this Wizard list, beating the likes of Halo's Plasma Grenade and Half-Life 2's Gravity Gun.

I liked Mr. Pointy more.
Are you frikkin' kidding me? No mention at all of The Saint of Killers' twin Colts, forged from the sword of the Angel of Death? That just ain't right.

I was also a little disappointed to not see the glaive, from Krull.

And to see Megatron anywhere near that list.
Aw, c'mon... no "River's Bloody Axe"?
River didn't even need the bloody axe to qualify, IMO. She *was* the weapon.
And Buffy's Scythe should have come in much higher, it was a thing of beauty ;-)
Yeah but I pity the person that tries to "wield" River ;) - which is part of the qualifying criteria.

David the hawk from the Dark Tower books is a favourite of mine. The fact that he even was a weapon spoke volumes about Roland's character and the best fictional weapons aren't just objects, they inform the entire story. And there're Roland's guns of course - forged from Excalibur itself (which in most tellings BTW, is a separate sword to the one pulled from the stone).

Was the scythe "passed from Slayer to Slayer" though ? I thought the "old women" (for want of a better term ;) kept it for when it would truly be needed ? If it was passed down the Slayer line then Giles would surely have known about it.

In general this feels like quite a "young" list to me. In days gone by both the BFG and the lightsabre would've been higher I think (He-Man's sword beating a lightsabre ? Nah).
Pretty good list, although I thought the light saber should have been number one and I can't believe it's missing Xena's Chakram and Indiana Jones' whip.

I liked Mr. Pointy better than the Scythe, too.
In the Scythe's defence, it did make that really cool noise when used in action.
Xena's Chakram should've been there, and He-Man's sword surely doesn't deserve to be higher than either Buffy's scythe or a lightsaber, but I don't think Indy's whip could qualify for their criteria - didn't the weapon have to be a fantasy weapon, in that you can't go out and buy a working one if you find the right shop? You can find a bullwhip in plenty of shops.

I will definitely agree, though, with the number one choice. Given any choice in the matter, I'd rather have a power ring than any big pointy things.
... it did make that really cool noise when used in action.

Only, I think, when used by Buffy.

(swords/edged weapons that "sing" pop up now and then in stories and legends but normally only "sing" in their rightful owner's hands)

And yep, that Chakram got Xena out of a lot of trouble, should've been on there.

(the power ring's cool and almost definitely the most powerful on the list - don't know quite a few of them so can't be certain - but it's just kinda dull as weapons go and not at all pretty)
Faith's Jackal knife was always my favourite Buffyverse weapon, maybe that doesn't count as fictional though. Wonder what happened to that, I was hoping it'd turn up in the comics after being on the variant cover of #8.
Where's Xena's Chakram??? C'mon, it was a classic! A gift from the God of War in all his yummy leatherness, it should be up there. It kills gods! I can hear the protest of hardcore Xena fans all over the internet. They are a strong rowdy bunch and should not be messed with! *ponders if she is one of them on some level*

I wonder who'd win in a fight, Buffy or Xena?

1. In hand to hand combat. (Xena's bigger and can play dirty. Buffy has Slayer strength.)
2. Each with her weapon: the Scythe and the Chakram. (Will Xena have an advantage for having used hers for a longer time? - heck, she sleeps with the thing! But Buffy's is bigger and… pointy.)

Simon, the Scythe and the Chakram both made cool noises.
Considering how most of these lists go recently, I was prepared to kvetch about the absence of Stormbringer and Excaliber, but upon reading the article, there they were. Both should have probably placed higher, IMO, as they both were precursors to lots of the other entries, but at least they were there.
Guess you could argue the toss over whether Excalibur is fictional though ;).
I don't think Indy's whip could qualify for their criteria - didn't the weapon have to be a fantasy weapon, in that you can't go out and buy a working one if you find the right shop? You can find a bullwhip in plenty of shops.


That's true. I didn't think of that.

I wonder who'd win in a fight, Buffy or Xena?


Xena. She was the better warrior.

Guess you could argue the toss over whether Excalibur is fictional though


Excalibur is totally fictional.
Arthur may have existed. Arthur may have had a sword. Arthur's sword may have been called Excalibur.

Toss argued ;).
Yeah, there's a kernel of truth in most legends. Although, I'd place it on the list as fictional simply because, at this point in time, the legend pretty much outweighs the origin (and, since we don't really know that much about the origin, the legend is about all we have to go on.)
Ah, to know the mysteries that are lost within the mists of time.

Perhaps hundreds of years from now, a time will come when people will wonder if Buffy the vampire slayer was a myth, too.
And also, the name 'Excalibur' was arrived at much later than the historical origins of the Arthurian legends - if he had a sword, and if the sword had a name, it'd probably have been in old Welsh - some tellings have it as 'Caledfwylch', some as 'Caladbolg' meaning 'Hard Lightning' (possibly nicked from Irish legends).

I was just being a tosser. Of arguments I mean. Ahem ;).
On the one hand, this list doesn't include Spider Jerusalem's bowel disruptor, and is thus obviously bogus.

On the other hand, they have Magik's Soulsword on there, so I am obliged to bow to their awesome judgment. ("Now that Colossus’ little sister is no more," though? She was dead for a decade, but now she's been recently resurrected.)


Saje, yes, the scythe was mentioned as being passed from Slayer to Slayer--but that may have been in Fray.
Lightsabre not win? Does not compute! Error! Error!!!!!!!11111one
Ah. The BFG9000. Warms the heart.
FTW!? Xena's Chakram should definately have been on that list! What a load of bull!
Seriously, the Chakram is like a sword and boomerang got married and had a baby. A baby that doesn't cut you when you catch it. Robbed.
Of all the swords listed, I'm pretty sure that Stormbringer was the only one that was both the protagonist's weapon AND the antagonist.

Is it just me, or did the comic book choices (Aside from Lantern's ring) have a decidedly Marvel slant?
1) She-ra's sword is better than He-man's sword, as it has a big shiny crystal in it. And even She-ra's sword shouldn't be that high on the list.

2) Iron Man's armor higher than lightsabers? LIGHTSABERS? Seriously?

3) How did the Lance of Longinus from Eva get on the list? There are so many cooler anime weapons. And how could the writer miss the reference? For shame.
Lightsaber should be #1. Chakram should surely be on there, and very high up-- it's as fictionally real as any of the magical swords on the list. And it's far, far cooler.

Gandalf's real weapons were his staff and Narya. Narsil or Sting should be the sword from LOTR. I'm disappointed that most of the weapons on the list are of the stab & slash variety. If evil weapons are included, the One Ring should be #1. It corrupts everyone. Even Frodo.

I wonder who'd win in a fight, Buffy or Xena?

I think Xena would have a definite edge. They're both used to being being the best fighter around, but I think Xena has faced more opponents at or above her skill level in the past.
Xena would seem to have the edge. Buffy tends to only use one weapon at a time, whereas Xena could have the Chakram whooshing around while going after her with her sword(s)...and Argo. Buffy I think prefers hand to hand. If there were no weapons? Well, Buffy's got supernatural strength, but Xena's just buff. And possibly maybe part god. Plus she can stop the flow of blood to your brain. Don't think that particular skill would help Buffy much with vamps. But Willow's way more powerful than Gabrielle, as cool as she is with her staff. This also leads back to the question of whether Buffy would kill a human. She wouldn't kill Ben. But I guess the question wasn't about killing. Thinking too much about this. Can't they all just practice spells together? ;)
After reading the article's introduction, I really want to see a Star Wars movie culminate in a slap fight.

Cos I'm weird like that.
Perhaps hundreds of years from now, a time will come when people will wonder if Buffy the vampire slayer was a myth, too.

Menomegirl, there's a fanfic called "Legend" by Marcus Rowland that uses exactly this idea. It's pretty interesting.

(I would link to it, but my leet skillz are on the fritz.)
deird-Is that archived anywhere? I'd love to read that.
http://lubakmetyk.infinology.net/others/rowland/legend.htm

It's pretty good.
Thanks for that fan-fic link, not bad at all. Made me sad all over again for the characters that didn't make it to the end (or "end" as it turns out, what with the comics etc. ;).

Reminds me of a great little Batman story, also called "Legend", about an oppressive future society and the one thing that instils hope in the people inhabiting it - tales of a being that stalked the night fighting for justice and the common person's rights who sleeps, ready to return and light their darkest hour. As happens with legends his story is conflated with others (it's said he could fly and the sleeping thing itself is obviously from Arthurian legend).

Only 8 pages (it's in the collection Batman: Black and White Vol 1 which is comprised of 8 page black and white comics which gave a who's who of today's comics writers/artists carte blanche with Batman, the brief basically being "It's Batman, it's 8 black and white pages, go for it") and it's just brilliant IMO (though this being "true" super-hero territory and Batman being Batman, the end of the story is a bit different to that fan-fic. Legends never really die you see ;).

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