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Whedonesque - a community weblog about Joss Whedon
"It's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham."
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January 29 2008

Firefly makes Woot's list of dangerous topics. Under "14 Lists That Made Our Boss Too Nervous To Publish," along with such dangerous statements as "9 CIA Employees Whose Names The White House Never Leaked" and "8 U.S. Nuclear Sites With Shockingly Insufficient Security" is "3,269 Reasons Firefly Is The Worst Show Ever Made."

That's funny! Woot kicks ass.
At least they realize it's a bad idea, because that would be a totally false list!
And the only two comments under the original post reference Firefly (comically), thus proving the bosses right!
Are Browncoats the new Internet Mafia? Discuss.
"1 Easy Trick For Successful Digg-Whoring" is on his list, but by my count he's used at least four (4) easy tricks - possibly more. Whether or not they prove to be successful, I couldn't say...

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-01-29 19:02 ]
Lists I would be nervous to post to Whedonesque include:

5 Unattractive Things About Nathan Fillion
25 Things About Beverly Hills, 90210 That Make It Way Better Than Buffy the Vampire Slayer
15 Reasons Firefly Should Have Been Canceled Sooner
12 Personal Insults About Mutant Enemy Writers
6 Reasons Joss Whedon Is A Jerk
5 Ways in Which Angel Is Very, Very Boring
7 Times I Wish Buffy Would Have Dusted Spike
Response: 37 Reasons Spike Is Awesome And You Don't Know What You're Talking About
8 Reasons Serenity Is Kind Of A Lame Ship, Really
Following Sunfire's lead....
  • 10 reasons fictional lesbians creep me out
  • Parker > Riley > Angel. Discuss.
  • 10 sandwiches that you can make me while you're in the kitchen, woman.
  • 15 reasons Wesley Crusher is better than Connor
  • Red Dwarf would wipe the floor with Serenity. Hell, Starbug would wipe the floor with Serenity.
  • Who wants to hear Cibo Mato and Aimee Mann? Let's get Tull on the show!
  • Firefly ripped off BSG's documentary-style space shots
  • Alien Resurrection is the crowning jewel in the entire Alien franchise
  • Toy Story, Schmoy Story. What this world needs is more Surf's Up.


[ edited by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner on 2008-01-29 20:39 ]

[ edited by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner on 2008-01-29 20:43 ]
*19 reasons Josh Weadon is a hack

[ edited by Dizzy on 2008-01-29 20:35 ]
359 reasons Serenity shouldn't have been made.
Parker > Riley > Angel. Discuss.


*snicker*
* 1001 reasons Buffy the Vampire Slayer was a better movie than television show.

(Sunfire, I laughed out loud at "6 reasons Joss Whedon is a jerk")
"15 Things About Joss Whedon's Work That Clearly Indicate He Secretly Supports Mike Huckabee For President"
Anyone else read the comments? What was up with the Roseanne schtick? Is there some relation to Firefly I don't know about?
What was up with the Roseanne schtick? Is there some relation to Firefly I don't know about?
Joss did a stint writing for Roseanne in one of its early seasons. IIRC, Roseanne was extremely impressed with his ability to write for women; when she asked him how he did it, he replied, "If you'd ever met my mother you wouldn't have to ask."

edit: I'm trying to find a citation for that quote but coming up snake eyes; might be apocryphal, or maybe something I dreamed up after eating some over-fermented kimchi.

[ edited by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner on 2008-01-29 22:30 ]
Those lists are not as outrageous as you might think. For example:

25 Things About Beverly Hills, 90210 That Make It Way Better Than Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 90210 had Emma Caulfield, no way Buffy would be able to get an actress like her

6 Reasons Joss Whedon Is A Jerk: We have heard multiple writers talk about how dangerous it is to have your fingers in front of Joss while he is eating.

10 reasons fictional lesbians creep me out: (true story) Dude from Rhode Island (sorry I forget his name) was speaking in my Spy Novel class at Brown. Said he wanted to create a villian who would out-James-Bond the (Roger Moore) James Bond films. Came up with a 7 ft. 320 lb. lesbian.

after eating some over-fermented kimchi: I could see drinking over fermented apple cider, but isn't kimchi indestructible?
* 67 facts proving Michael Bay is a better writer/director/human being than Joss Whedon could ever wish to be.
* Buffy is just a rip off of Sweet Valley High and you all know it.
* 15 reasons why the people who canceled Angel and Firefly deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.
* 29 reasons explaining that the WGA are greedy pigs and that the studio heads rule.
* Paris Hilton should have been cast as Buffy.
* 19 minutes of laughter after Wash dies.
* 42 reasons why Connor and Kennedy should get together and breed a beautiful love child.
* And a partridge in a pear tree is cooler than Angel's dragon.
7 reasons why Joss Whedon doesn't write strong female characters
9 episodes of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' that had no good bits whatsoever
3 is the number of different facial expressions David Boreanaz can act (including "foreheady")
6 is by far the best season of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'
5 reasons why Tara deserved to die
11 current script-writers more worthy of the title "TV's Shakespeare" than Joss Whedon
X Men that are glad Joss Whedon's run is almost over

I almost want to set up a site, arrange some hits based advertising and then write some of these. As business models go, i've seen worse ;).
I read the same thing, Roland. Um, somewhere. You've brought back memories of teaching a bio lab where we made kimchee. Well, tried. You don't want to see or smell kimchee gone wrong.

I'm sure any list I can come up with has been the subject of a real blog rant somewhere, just maybe not with so many reasons listed. I've read some long serious rants about why Joss Whedon is misogynist. Ten Reasons Joss Whedon Actually Hates Women has probably been done, sadly.

11 Reasons I Support The AMPTP. F*&% The Writers.
5 Earlier Scenes In Which Wash Should Have Died.
My Least Favorite Buffy Fan 'Ships
135 Strongly Worded Opinions About Canon (fully annotated with both scholarly and Wikipedia citations)
15 Things Spike Did That You All Think Are Cool, But Were Really Quite Lame
3 Facts That Prove Parker Is Buffy's True Soul Mate

I was just thinking, this is a Saje thread if ever there was.
17 frames that show Buffy actually tripped in 'The Gift' and didn't mean to jump at all
20 things we love about Warren Mears

22 reasons why this site is completely hacker proof
15 of the world's most litigious celebrities (and why they are gay Communist Al Qaeda supporters)
14 incriminating and secret practices of the Yakuza

(and yep, 0 chances of me resisting this one Sunfire, numbers and lists ? It's like the thread was spun from purest win ;)
135 Strongly Worded Opinions About Canon

I'm sure I've seen that one around here somewhere...
* 19 minutes of laughter after Wash dies.

You've seen the Directors Cut then?


27 Ugly women from ME Shows.
74 Buffy plot points copied from Charmed.
4 hidden camera movies of Jewel Staite setting fire to orphanages.
Those episodes where Joss just phoned it in, you know the ones I mean.
42 reasons why Firefly should have had latex-headed aliens.
236 reasons why Willow never made cry.
123 reasons why Xander wasn't funny.
1001 reasons why Hank Summers was a good father after season 2.
500 reasons why Giles should not have been rehired by the Council.
100 reasons why the Council was right in firing Giles.
10 reasons why Buffy Season 3 Wesley was better than Wesley in Angel.
153 Proofs that Ben is not actually Glory.
84 reasons why Dawn should have been quintuplets
26 reasons why Caleb should be the new spokesperson for Equality Now
666 of Angelus' favorite decorating tips
101 things to do with a dead Totoro Wash
2745 reasons why Greedo so obviously shot first
17 frames that show Buffy actually tripped in 'The Gift' and didn't mean to jump at all
Oh dear. Suddenly I have a mental image of the final moments of "The Gift" sped up and synced to the Benny Hill theme. I can't help it; it's my brain's default setting whenever someone describes or invokes an act of schadenfreude-worthy klutziness.
26 reasons why this is the worst thread ever.
Woot kills me. I love how they automatically change "Firefly" to "Roseanne" in the blog comments.
Suddenly I have a mental image of the final moments of "The Gift" sped up and synced to the Benny Hill theme.


...Dammit, now it's in my head! (And then, for some reason, a chorus line of Smile Time puppets...)
23 members who are about to get the boot.

heh heh
200 reasons this is not going to end well.
100 reasons I agree with crossoverman.
30 reasons why Donald Sutherland would have made a better Giles than ASH
50 reasons any of the women on Charmed could have kicked Buffy's ass
75 reasons AtS was the worst ever spin-off series

I'm no good at this, I love my Joss shows too much.

1 reason why one thing Saje said is actually true.
You're scared of the Yakuza too Shey ? I don't blame you.

;-)
You're scared of the Yakuza too Shey ? I don't blame you.

;-)

Saje | January 30, 13:13 CET


Umm, not exactly what I had in mind. But I have known some scary BtS fans. Probably just as well this got overlooked. ;-)

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