Remembering Du'a Khalil on April 7th.
Last year, Joss wrote an impassioned post about the death of Du'a Khalil titled "Let's Watch A Girl Get Beaten To Death". This year, various events around the world will mark her death. They include the launching of the anthology "Nothing But Red" and two conferences which will be held in Paris and London. There's also various online campaigns as well.
Many thanks to Tonya J for the heads up about this. The Nothing But Red anthology also includes Joss' post at Whedonesque.
April 03 2008
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On May 20, 2007, Joss wrote a stunning essay about Du'a Khalil's murder, violence against women depicted on film, and violence against women in general. Because of this impassioned plea for sanity in the world, I started doing more, a little at a time. I joined Equality Now awhile back and contribute "X" dollars a month to their causes. I write blogs once in awhile on subjects that are meaningful to me and try to be more aware and compassionate about what is happening to people, every single day. I am not an activist but I would ask if you have time to consider the information in this post. Thanks all.
Here is the information for the London and Paris conferences I received in an email last Friday. The Paris details were sent in French with no link to a translation:
Date: Saturday 12 April, 2008
Time: 5.00-9:00pm
Address: University of London Union (ULU)
Room 3D, Malet Street London WC1E 7HY
Closest underground: Russell Square
A year after the world was stunned by images of a 17 year old girl being stoned to death in Iraqi Kurdistan; an international panel will debate the rise of honour killings, violence against women, gender apartheid and political Islam in Kurdistan/Iraq and the Middle East.
The high profile speakers are women’s rights activists, academics and experts from Kurdistan, Iraq, Iran, Sweden, New Zealand, and Britain and include:
* Dr Sandra Phelps: Head of Sociology Department, Kurdistan University
* Houzan Mahmoud: representative of Organisation Women’s Freedom in Iraq
* Heather Harvey: head of women’s campaign-Amnesty International in UK
* Maryam Namazie: Spokesperson of Equal Rights Now
* Maria Hagberg: Cofounder of Network against Honour Killings in Sweden
* Azar Majedi: Chair of Organisation for Women’s Liberation in Iran
* Chair: Maria Exall, Communication Workers' Union National Executive in
UK
For more information and to confirm please contact the organiser:
Houzan Mahmoud: houzan2007@yahoo.com Tel: 07534264481
Organisation of Women’s Freedom in Iraq- Abroad representative
In Paris:
Venez commémorer cette journée avec nous, lors d’une conférence, le lundi 7 avril, de 18h à 19h, dans les locaux de Buddhachannel/ParisTVProd, 206 rue Lafayette Paris 10ème.
Nous aborderons les lois internationales relatives aux crimes d’honneur, une intervention sera faite par M. Camille Boudjak, auteur du livre « Un totalitarisme contre les femmes, Répercussions des crimes et du système de « l’honneur familial » sur les conditions de vie des femmes au Moyen Orient ». Nous vous parlerons également de nos actions en faveur de la défense du droit fondamental de toute femme, en particulier contre les crimes d’honneur, puis nous vous présenterons un clip en mémoire de toutes ces femmes assassinée au nom d’un code d’honneur morbide oppressif et rétrograde.
Merci de confirmer votre présence par email à : abysse.gipf@gmail.com
Conférence organisée par l'ONG GIPF (Groupe international Parole de Femmes) et ICAHK (Campagne Internationale contre les crimes d'honneur).
A few more links:
Conference in San Francisco: Violence Against Women, Honor Killings
Quoter Gal started a blog last year for us to talk about all of this. Take a look if you have time:
IAm Du'a Khalil
[ edited by Tonya J on 2008-04-03 16:30 ]
Tonya J | April 03, 16:21 CET
Skyla Dawn | April 03, 17:03 CET
What kind of animal physically attacks a woman in the name of honor? And what kind of culture supports and protects this insanity in so many places across the globe?
alexreager | April 03, 17:19 CET
But these really aren't questions, are they?
I have had an idea for a story since I first heard of honor killings, before Du'a Khalil was murdered and we saw how much it upset Joss. Problem is, I want him to write it, not me, because he are not suck as I is.
KingofCretins | April 03, 17:29 CET
That sentence I just typed is, by the way, the sickest thing you'll hear all year on many levels. Because, clearly, there is nothing honourable about it, nothing enjoyable and nothing reasonable about a tradition which victimizes women (and occasionally men - although mostly not) in such a horrific way. Honour killings represent centuries of misbalance in society.
At the time Joss posted about Du'a Khalil (and, lest we not forget, Captivity - which bombed at the box office) a friend of mine who happens to work for Equality Now recommended I read the book 'Burned Alive'. It's written by Souad, a 17 year old (pregnant) girl who fell in love with a man, and got set on fire by her brother-in-law as a result. She survived, fled abroad, and ended up writing a book about the experience many years later.
It's the bleakest thing you'll ever read. She recounts getting to hospital: "...they were letting me die because it was forbidden to intervene in a case like mine. I was guilty in everyone's eyes. I would endure the fate of all women who sully the honour of men."
Equality is like gravity. We need it to survive on this earth as men and women.
[ edited by gossi on 2008-04-03 17:57 ]
gossi | April 03, 17:56 CET
Here is a quick translation of the Paris info (I just did it pretty quickly, and remember I’m still a student.)
“Come to commemorate this day with us, at a conference, Monday April 7th, from 6-7 pm, at the Buddhachannel/ParisTVProd, at 206 rue Lafayette in Paris 10th (I have no idea what the 10th means, sorry).
We will address international laws relating to crimes (murders) of honor, then a presentation will take place by Mr. Camille Boudjak, author of the book « Un totalitarisme contre les femmes, Répercussions des crimes et du système de « l’honneur familial » sur les conditions de vie des femmes au Moyen Orient » (A Totalitarianism against women, reprecussions of these murders and the system of the « Family Honor » on the conditions of life of the women in the middle east.) We will speak with you also of our actions in favor of the defense of the fundamental rights of all women, in particular against the honor crimes(murders), then we will present to you a clip in memory of all the women assassinated in the name of a morbid, oppressive, and retrogressive honor code.
Please confirm your presence by email @ abysse.gipf@gmail.com
Conference is organized by the ONG GIPF (international group for women’s voices) and ICAHK (International campaign against the Honor crimes)"
So that's that, hope that helps!! :)
Linnea1928 | April 03, 18:02 CET
I don't want to take Quoter Gal's job away from her, but in light of the John Adams mini-series that was just on Showtime, I thought I'd share this quote:
Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write --John Adams
Tonya J | April 03, 18:13 CET
Yeah. Sexism requires participation, or at least acquiescence, from women in order to persist. Just as efforts from both men and women are required in order to successfully fight it.
[ edited by Sunfire on 2008-04-03 18:29 ]
Sunfire | April 03, 18:29 CET
Saje | April 03, 19:17 CET
We've had several honor killings in Scandinavia, all of them equally shocking. We've also had problems with parents taking thier daughters back to their homeland for a visit, just to have them circumsized.
That's why it is so very important that there are safeguards in place if the girls and mothers need it. Also for the men, especially the homosexuals because that is tabu, too. It is also important that there are people from within their own culture who can help, and luckily, there are plenty of people within the Islamic communities actively working to change things. I see hope.
I would love to go to this conference, but doubt I can work it into an already packed schedule.
[ edited by MysticSlug on 2008-04-03 20:34 ]
MysticSlug | April 03, 20:32 CET
jclemens | April 03, 20:34 CET
Saje, I think it’s fair to say that anyone that has "learned" that type of behavior can be called an animal. And I agree they are not inherently evil, I'd call it more of a “learned evil”, if that is a more comfortable or politically correct term.
If you want to get right down to it, attempting to separate the man from his reprehensible action, in this instance, amounts to a very apologetic attitude. As if this man has no free will of his own. From what I gather, while it’s a huge number of victims every year, it’s still a very small percentage of the overall population that engages in this type of butchery. Which means there are plenty of people that steer clear. I don’t pretend to think environment has nothing to do with this, obviously it does. However, I believe the human spirit has the capacity to rise above “learning” activities like ripping someone apart with your bare hands.
alexreager | April 03, 20:48 CET
People (mainly men) have killed "for honour" for thousands of years and even now are still lauded for it under some circumstances and these men are no different. Those attitudes changed with time and education, so can these.
Making it "other" by calling it "evil" or them "animals" is unproductive IMO.
ETA: No alexreager, calling them "animals" is claiming they have no free will of their own.
[ edited by Saje on 2008-04-03 20:51 ]
Saje | April 03, 20:48 CET
[ edited by MysticSlug on 2008-04-03 20:49 ]
MysticSlug | April 03, 20:49 CET
Tonya J | April 03, 21:13 CET
Tonya J | April 03, 21:29 CET
I was there for my job but the most amazing part of the day was not hearing the police talk about the progress in policy, or the CPS talk about recent convictions (including prosecution of those who are complicit in this abuse, if not perpetrating it actively).
It was a presentation given by Jagdeesh Singh about his sister, Surjit, who was murdered by her husband and her mother in law.
After her 'disappearance', he had to fight both Indian and British authorities to take the case seriously, only seeing the perpatrators convicted almost 10 years later. He pointed out that cases like Madeline McCann and Lucy Blackman receive instantaneous support from media and government. Many people were moved to tears.
He will be presenting a petition to Gordon Brown for equal justice for victims of so-called 'honour killings';
www.petitiononline.com/surjit/petition.html
lone fashionable wolf | April 03, 21:38 CET
And I'll be wearing my D'ua Khalil t-shirt. So, if you had some funds left over after a donation and was looking for a new black t-shirt...
[ edited by NYPinTA on 2008-04-03 22:13 ]
NYPinTA | April 03, 22:09 CET
I dunno what more to say about this subject - I did all my stuff last year - but as long as the practice continues, and the subjugation of women continues, the need to be involved and concerned continues.
I credit last year's thread - and Joss - with getting me politically active again... in this and other areas. What a fandom, and what a guy at its center, that can inspire its members in these ways.
I remember D'ua Khalil Aswad.
*lights candle.*
QuoterGal | April 03, 22:33 CET
I was disappointed that I was ineligible to signt he petition b/c I am a US citizen and not a UK resident or British citizen. If you know of a link for international support please post it or send it to me via email.
We recently had an honour killing in Texas. A man killed his 2 teenaged daughters b/c they were becoming too american, secular. Although they wore clothing that covered everything but their hands and head from the neck up, they spoke to boys at school, read books outside school work, and asked to go to movies. So he had them both get in taxi drove to a parking lot, shot them both and left them for dead as he left the country. This from a man who came to the US for a better life for his family, this from a man who had supposedly converted to Christianity. I just want people to be aware that it doesn't take uneducated social pressure for this to happen. It goes deeper than that sometimes. We have a long road ahead of us but I believe one day things will be better. I have to.
GothicJossMinion | April 03, 22:45 CET
Her father (her father for fuck's sake) and uncle were jailed for her murder but the list of people that should have helped but instead basically ignored her would make you cry.
Saje | April 03, 22:57 CET
MysticSlug | April 03, 23:03 CET
Heartily agree, of course. That's because Joss is of teh (not a typo) awesome. I've kept Du'a close to my heart since Joss's essay, as I've signed petitions, written blogs, and read more horror stories, one which Saje already recounted, online and in newspapers. It seems as though this issue doesn't end, but the more people who are made aware and express their outrage, in whatever way they can, it will make a difference. Just as Joss keeps getting asked that tired old question, "Why do you write such strong ..." mm-hm, "Because you keep asking me that question," perhaps one day there will be no more need for petitions, conferences, and essays like the one Joss wrote, because there won't be a need. I pray for that day to come for humanity.
Tonya J | April 03, 23:28 CET
Sabbrielle | April 04, 01:14 CET
And I feel so powerless about it all. I want to help, but I just don't know what I can do. I donate to Equality Now, but it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. I read about things like this knowing that, whilst I'm reading, there are other people out there being hurt right now. It makes my skin crawl.
Sometimes it's places like this comment thread that seem like one of the few sane places left in the world. How sad is that?
MattK | April 04, 02:00 CET
But since there is no such person as Buffy Summers, it's up to the rest of us, the people who actually have empathy. We need to punish those responsible for these gruesome acts, and teach future generations the truth about barbarism. These "honor killings" are an invention of an ancient, superstitious populace, and they have no place in the modern world.
quantumac | April 04, 02:47 CET
The amazing thing is that in each instance, many people were not aware that the issue even existed. And even more amazing, some of them actually got involved with organized groups and helped create change. I'll bet there are some people you know that have never heard of honor killing...
alexreager | April 04, 03:46 CET
SoddingNancyTribe | April 04, 04:09 CET
Shey | April 04, 13:10 CET
Tonya J | April 04, 21:55 CET
Sometimes when I read about some horrible thing happening to someone, I have that moment. That moment where I desperately wish the look-out-it's-the-Slayer! or oh-no-it's-Batman! kind of superheroes are real. But you're right, we have to make due with normal people trying to do extraordinary things. It has to start with us.
Hopefully that CSTS ad in Buffy #13 will get some new people involved in that.
Sunfire | April 04, 22:34 CET
The first link is a blog dated today:
Du'a: A Call Unheard
This rehashes Du'a death but it also goes on to say how no one save a small group of activists have done anything to mark her passing. I take issue with that, keeping in mind that millions have noted what happened and are completely outraged. If Joss hadn't written what he did, there would be a lot less enlightened and motivated people in the world right now. Nothing but Red would not have been created,
Nothing but Red,
or Ellen Sheeley's eloquent letter to the King of Jordan, contained in Nothing but Red,
A Heartfelt Appeal to His Majesty King Abdullah II of Jordan,
and I would not have pushed for this topic to be revisited. All thanks to Joss Whedon.
I hope you'll drop by tomorrow, April 7th, and join me in leaving a short note of remembrance.
Tonya J | April 07, 00:28 CET
Du'a
A beautiful young woman, aged 17
Murdered in Kurdistan, Iraq
By relatives including her uncle
And others
While hundreds watched
And cheered
And did nothing
She never got to fully
Live her life
Taken from this world too soon
Du’a, I will remember you
The rest of my life
Rest in peace now
[ edited by Tonya J on 2008-04-07 04:56 ]
Tonya J | April 07, 04:55 CET
There are other days when I can see humanity more like this here.
Most of the time I live somewhere in between - but veering madly between these two poles.
But whatever I think, I hope we can do better for women in particular and humanity in general than we were able to do for Du'a. I never knew her, I never would have met her, but she might have been a friend.
I'll remember her.
"I have never had any faith in humanity. But I will give us props on this: if we can evolve, invent and theorize our way into the technologically magical, culturally diverse and artistically magnificent race we are and still get people to buy the idiotic idea that half of us are inferior, we’re pretty amazing. Let our next sleight of hand be to make that myth disappear." - Joss, Let's Watch A Girl Get Beaten To Death, May 20th, 2007
QuoterGal | April 07, 16:21 CET
The morning has found tears in my eyes.
For those of you expressing regret at not being able to attend an event, I encourage you to act. Visit Equality Now. Re-read Joss' essay. Click on the Nothing But Red link above, and purchase a copy of the anthology. NBR has done an amazing job, it's really a beautiful book.
Do something. This day isn't just about Du'a. It's about all of us.
edenrivers | April 07, 16:25 CET
I know this story has dropped off the main page, so I'm not sure who's still paying attention, but I really wanted to comment on this... I completley know how you feel. Working on Nothing But Red, I've been saying the same thing for months now--that nothing I do is enough. But as cheesy as it sounds, the reality is that every little bit really does help. There are people actively working on the front lines, trying to save lives, and the activist world they live in is so lonely sometimes, because it seems like no one else cares. I've met a lot of people while seeing Nothing But Red to publication--people who devote their lives to this kind of thing. And they've repeatedly passed on their thanks to me, the NBR staff, and the contributors because we showed them they're not alone and that there are people who DO care, who ARE grateful for the work they do. By supporting charities, speaking out, and showing you care, you ARE making a difference--you ARE doing something incredible.
So to anyone who fears that they aren't doing enough, aren't giving enough...take a moment and send an email to someone. The webmaster of a charity's website, the author of an article or book you've read that meant something to you. Reach out. A few kind words can do so much to inspire people.
I remember Du'a Khalil Aswad.
Skyla Dawn | April 07, 17:38 CET
Skyla, the mods have linked to this thread on the home page under "The Sitch/News" on the right-hand side of the page. (Thanks much, moderazzis.)
Thanks, btw, for all your work on Nothing But Red - I'll be buying my copy today - and to Tonya, for never letting us forget this issue...
QuoterGal | April 07, 17:58 CET
Tonya J | April 07, 18:18 CET
Thank you for your kind words, TonyaJ--so many people have been working behind the scenes on this, and it's wonderful to hear from people. I'm sure everyone you contacted really appreciated the comments. It was one of the NBR contributors, Ellen R. Sheeley (Reclaiming Honor in Jordan), who really made me realize recently how important it is to reach out.
Skyla Dawn | April 07, 18:26 CET
[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-04-07 23:37 ]
QuoterGal | April 07, 21:20 CET
I will continue to use this topic (please bookmark it so the conversation can continue) as a place to post information. I will do so at the I am Du'a Khalil blog as well - link is above.
There are a couple of petitions you can sign if you haven't already - it's not too late:
ICAHK Petition
Code Pink Petition
Tonya J | April 07, 23:16 CET
Pride in people who frequent this site and
Hope for a better future for everyone
Peace and love to all.
m'cookies actual | April 07, 23:35 CET
Yesterday from ICAHK:
We are also trying to persuade Amnesty and some other groups to make April 7 the official International Day of Action Against Honour Killings. We have very much appreciated the support generated by the day and think this would definitely be a serious boost to the movement -- particularly to generate activism where it is needed most: in the Middle East and South Asia.
Today from Author/Activist Ellen Sheeley:
If any of you is interested, I recently began blogging about "honor" killings. I'm somewhat prompted to do so by yesterday's launch of an anthology about them. I'm a contributor to the anthology, and my submission was picked up by UPI. Here's where I'm blogging:
Ellen's Blog
Tonya J | April 09, 02:50 CET
Please take a look if you have time:
Tell Congress to fund critical programs that help thousands of victims of domestic, dating and sexual violence
Thanks guys.
Tonya J | April 17, 04:49 CET
Equal Action for Surjit and Banaz
Jagdeesh Singh, brother of 'honour' killling victim Surjit Athwal, intends to deliver his petition to Gordon Brown, the British Prime Minister on 7th May. So, if any of you have not yet signed this, please do: his petition calls for victims of 'honour' killing to recieve equal treatment to other UK citizens.
HELP SARAH
Despite receiving a lot of moral support for the campaign to help 'Sarah' escape her relatives who are threatening her with forced marriage at best, donations are still fairly low and Sarah's friends are concerned about her safety.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL HERE
Sarah is a young woman from the Middle East. After undergoing horrific violence after the first marriage she was forced into, and confronted with the prospect of being forced into a second unwanted marriage, she decided that death was preferable to life on those terms. After a long period in a coma, she returned to consciousness, but she is still in hospital under intensive care. Naturally, she cannot depend on any support from her family, who have threatened to kill her on previous occasions. In fact, friends of Sarah arranged for her to be placed in a hospital in a place where her parents are unable to find her, force her into marriage or kill her in the name of family 'honour'.
With no rights or social security, Sarah depends on her friends to defray the expense incurred through her hospitalisation which has already reached several thousand Euros. Her friends are not rich and are unable to pay the price necessary to save her life and allow her to follow her desires and hopes. Therefore, her friends have launched this appeal to your goodwill to help Sarah receive the care she desperately needs.
"Who saves the life of one saves the life of all mankind," as they say. By helping Sarah, who is suffering both from the lack of accessible healthcare common in all third-world countries, and from the weight of 'family honour', we will also bring hope to all the others who suffer, and show that solidarity and humanity are stronger than oppression and despair.
(We have used a false name to protect Sarah's identity)
Sarah* est une jeune femme du Moyen-Orient. Après avoir subi les pires violences lors d'un premier mariage forcé, elle a, après la menace d'un second mariage forcé, préféré tenter de se donner la mort que de « vivre » encore une telle expérience. Après une longue période de coma, elle est revenue à la vie, mais doit toujours être hospitalisée en soins intensifs. Bien entendu, elle ne peut compter sur aucun soutien de sa famille. Suite à sa tentative de suicide, en effet, des amis ont permis à Sarah d'être hospitalisée dans un lieu sûr pour éviter que sa famille ne la retrouve, cherche à nouveau à la marier de force ou même ne la tue au nom de « l'honneur familial ». Sans droits à la sécurité sociale, Sarah ne peut compter que sur quelques ami(e)s pour subvenir aux frais d'hospitalisation qui s'élèvent à plusieurs milliers d'euros. Salariés modestes pour la plupart, ces amis ne peuvent supporter seuls cette charge élevée et pourtant nécessaire pour sauver la vie de Sarah et lui permettre ensuite de vivre enfin selon ses désirs et aspirations. Aussi nous faisons appel à votre solidarité pour permettre à Sarah de bénéficier des soins qui lui sont nécessaires.
« Qui sauve la vie d'un humain sauve toute l'humanité » dit-on… Aider Sarah., face à l'absence de soins accessibles pour tous dans les pays du tiers-monde et au poids de « l'honneur familial », c'est aussi continuer à donner espoir à toutes celles qui souffrent, à montrer que la solidarité et l'humanité peuvent être plus forte que l'oppression et le désespoir.
Pour d'évidentes raisons de sécurité, nous ne pouvons bien entendu pas donner plus de détail en public.
*Le prénom a été modifié pour des raisons de sécurité
ساعدوا سارة سارة صبية من الشرق الأوسط. كغيرها من النساء المعنفات والمضطهدات في العالم ، أرغمت على الزواج للمرة الأولى بعد تعرضها لعنف وترهيب من قبل أسرتها ، كما قررت أسرتها تزويجها مرة ثانية رغماً عنها ، فكان قرارها هو الابتعاد عن هذا العالم القذر والأيام الصعبة التي لم تحمل لها سوى المعاناة والذل لسبب واحد فقط ، وهو أنها امرأة ، فقررت أن تنتحر ،إلا ان محاولتها باءت بالفشل الأمر الذي اودى بها الى المشفى حيث دخلت في غيبوبة طويلة ، وبعد استعادتها الوعي كان لا بد من إبقائها في العناية المشددة ، فقرر أصدقاؤها مساعدتها حيث كان من المستحيل الطلب من أسرتها تقديم أي عون ، خاصة بعدما أقدم بعض افراد الأسرة عدة مرات على إطلاق تهديدات صريحة وجادة بقتلها ، وبالطبع ليس من الغريب إطلاق هكذا تهديدات للشابة المسكينة خاصة أن الشرق الأوسط منطقة معروفة بإقدام الذكور على قتل نسائهم وأخواتهم لأتفه الأسباب ، بحجة الحفاظ على شرف العائلة العتيد ، وبالتالي قدم أصدقاؤها ما أمكن من معونة مادية لدفع تكاليف المشفى الباهظة ، إلا أن وضعهم المالي عادي للغاية لا يسمح لهم بتحمل جميع المصاريف فكان لابد من إطلاق هذا النداء إلى كل من يملك حس إنساني ، ويحمل في قلبه رحمة و شعور طيب ونبيل وقادر على تقديم المساعدة ، اي مساعدة ، يمكن أن تخلص الشابة من بعض متاعبها ، وتزيح عن كاهلها حمل ثقيل آخر ، وربما تكون بادرة أمل للنساء الأخريات المعنفات تشعرهم بأن هنالك فعلاً من يهتم ويمد اليد النبيلة لمساعدتهن ، وخاصة أن المشافي في الدول النامية معروفة بضعف إمكانياتها مقارنة بالمشافي الأخرى الموجودة في بعض الدول وربما . تشعرهن بأن الإنسانية أقوى والأمل أبقى من اليأس . (ملاحظة : قمنا باستخدام اسم وهمي وأخفينا الهوية الحقيقية للفتاة لحمايتها . )
أصدقاء سارة
Best Regards,
International Campaign Against Honour Killings Staff
Tonya J | May 04, 00:46 CET