Dr. Horrible Poetry?
The Dr. Horrible team challenges us to some creative rhyming and syllable counting on Twitter, asking for Dr. Horrible themed limericks and haikus.
Where's my rhyming dictionary?
August 18 2008
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P.S. uptheapples: You don't need rhyming dictionary for haiku! Oh, wait, I mean horriku, of course. ;)
cabri | August 18, 22:36 CET
uptheapples | August 18, 22:36 CET
Linnea1928 | August 18, 22:36 CET
cabri | August 18, 22:40 CET
JadeHand | August 18, 22:43 CET
cabri | August 18, 22:45 CET
There once was a Jefferson (Thomas)
To whom the League once made a promise:
"If you don a swell wig
And dance us a jig
For membership how can ya miss?"
and
There once was a normal Professor
Whose evil made him a transgressor
His goggles were eerie
And made them all leery
But he sure was a right snazzy dresser.
[ edited by theonetruebix on 2008-08-19 08:07 ]
@theonetruebix | August 18, 22:47 CET
Sweet pretty Penny
Fell hard for a corp'rate tool.
Poor girl got hammered.
Dr. Horrible
The man with the PHD
In horribleness.
That Captain Hammer
Never wears sweater vests, but
dry-cleans them daily.
Billy brought yogurts
Hoping to win Penny's heart
But she fell too late.
Those Hammer groupies
Stalking him until he ran.
Now they're Horriblettes.
cabri | August 18, 22:55 CET
First draft:
There once was a man named Billy
whose costume, to some, seemed silly
He built a Death Ray
that killed Felicia Day
And nearly removed Hammer's willy
Modified:
There once was a man named Billy
whose costume, to some, seemed silly
He built a Death Ray
now mourns laundry day
And wears a visage that's chilly
JadeHand | August 18, 23:02 CET
Whose evil League exerted great force
His chorus could sing
And rhyme most anything
But if need be he'd stomp code with hoof Morse
@theonetruebix | August 18, 23:07 CET
Billy and Penny
Sharing yogurt and stories
Hammer will save us
JadeHand | August 18, 23:15 CET
Who considered herself both judge and jury
With her wedding dress worn
And chock full of scorn
She trapped all men inside Missouri.
@theonetruebix | August 18, 23:23 CET
Of imperfect nature, the doctor
Fails to impress her.
A league of like minds was established
To rule all of mankind with panache
When Dr. Horrible applied
He was mockingly denied,
And it led to ruining all that he'd cherished.
cabri | August 18, 23:30 CET
Bad Horse is a brute with a neigh
That is fierce, in a harsh equine way.
As he gallops terrain
With his long flowing mane
He spreads terror the whole livelong day.
Ah, Penny was bright as the day.
Gathered rosebuds and gave them away.
She was sweet, dear and kind -
There was pain to be mined.
So she died, in a WHEDONesque way.
(This was a "reply limerick" to a Dr. Horrible limerick):
The next word in his poem was "penis"
which lies, like a hammer between us.
All over the 'net
They could never forget
and this joke would return to demean us.
; >
(Horriku):
Whedon poem request.
Crazy random happenstance?
- No! sinister plan.
A watery henchman named Moist
Slipped and fell, knocking over a joist.
He died in a pool
Of his blood and some drool
His last gurgles remaining unvoiced.
(Horriku)
Memory ripples.
Already the story in flux.
Whatever! and Balls!
QuoterGal | August 18, 23:31 CET
cabri | August 18, 23:35 CET
Limericks:
There was a doc in LA;
who tried to make a freeze ray;
the weapon backfired;
Penny's life expired;
Cap'n hammer didn't save the day.
Cap'n Hammer is a tool;
he plays Billy for a fool;
ladies go berserk;
tho he acts like a jerk;
they think he's hot and cool.
He had a PHD (Horribleness),
but Billy’s life was a huge mess.
A pretty girl he adored,
but him, she only ignored,
Penny was occupied w/ the Cap’n of the Penis.
An LA- much like Disney;
All sing: heroes, villains, Penny.
Angels, birds like Magpies,
sing Cap’n Hammer will die.
Even cowboy henchmen sing in key.
Haikus:
Simon Helberg's "Moist";
Dampens 'n' makes soggy my heart;
Evil Moisture Buddy.
Head of E.L.E;
His whinny terrifies all;
Thoroughbred of Sin.
*Sigh* Captain Hammer;
A hero leading the way;
We do the weird stuff.
Linnea1928 | August 18, 23:38 CET
But now I have to *sigh* try again.
QuoterGal | August 18, 23:40 CET
cabri | August 18, 23:43 CET
Dr. Horrible
When I zapped the gold
I moved it, but I killed it.
All that soft glitter stilled.
(Linnea1928 - I LOVE your last Horriku.)
QuoterGal | August 18, 23:59 CET
Just like Ed
Simon | August 19, 00:09 CET
(my first one is similar to JadeHand's, I see, but I posted it on Twitter about the same time!)
There was a young man named Billy
Whose outfits sometimes were silly
Fell in love with a maid
Whose life then did fade
So he joined ELE not as a filly.
My Horriku:
Freeze ray did stop time
Not soon enough for Penny
Evil League gains new member.
Must go to bed now.
samatwitch | August 19, 00:16 CET
There once was a Jefferson, Fake
Figuring Out how to bake.
He cooked a Bad Horse
Heartburn was Horrible, of course
Hammer cutlery his only mistake.
And for a slightly darker approach:
There once was a blog, along-to sung
Starring No-one Particularly Horrible.
No sequel'll come
Thanks to Bad Horse's dung
The smell deemed somewhat intolerable.
NuVanessa | August 19, 00:57 CET
freeze ray to death ray
desperate play for respect
leaves Billy hollow
kind girl with red hair
cares for gentle laundry boy
love's horrible dream
beck | August 19, 01:31 CET
Proud maker of the weird whoopie
Her “Rise” demo sound
Did Felicia astound
So please put it on the CD
Pointy | August 19, 03:38 CET
There was a lovely tv-web thingy,
That pleased our ears with its singing.
The soundtrack was promised.
And promised, and promised.
And still not so much with the bringing.
Disclaimer: Any impatience suggested does not imply criticism. Just impatience.
Biff Turkle | August 19, 04:56 CET
There once was a woman whose flair
unluckily managed to snare
the hearts of two guys
who tag-teamed her demise--
Penny shoulda done laundry elsewhere.
Entering that room
Bad Horse's eyes glint darkly
Penny lost to me
catherine | August 19, 06:22 CET
They hired a cast quite adorable.
With ear-pleasing melodies
and taut plot developings,
the results were quite unignorable.
ShortFatGuy | August 19, 07:18 CET
Lead by a hero named Joss
They brought us new plots
And some silly hot shots
And that's why we call them the boss
...es
And some horrikus for good measure:
Captain Hammer smells
Like Red Bull and sweaty socks
But his punches hurt.
Penny likes laundry.
Also doing the dishes
And taking hot baths.
uptheapples | August 19, 07:19 CET
There was once a Horrible cackling,
Causing blog viewers much muted laughing,
But then Penny showed up,
With a ray in her gut,
And there was "Evil!" and "No, Joss!" and gasping.
B) Horriku
I got it working
My glorious death ray killed--
I didn't mean to.
Jav | August 19, 07:34 CET
Meh. I'm sure it's just me.
karosurly | August 19, 07:58 CET
I love these! Oh, and you got this as a response. :D
korkster | August 19, 08:22 CET
There once was a guy with a dream
to be horrible in the extreme
so he gave it a whirl
at the cost of one girl
and joined up with the evilest team
Horriku
He came back to say
"the hammer is my penis"
cuz, screw subtlety
Thoroughbred of sin
wild-eyed rides through our nightmares
black hooves clattering
catherine | August 19, 08:24 CET
alexreager | August 19, 08:25 CET
NYinTA asked the Doc if he wanted "hangover haiku" so I've already written a hangover limerick - but more coffee will be required if any more are needed:
There was a young writer named Whedon
Twittered drunk that some verse he was needin'.
All his tweetbuds complied
Which he woke up and eyed
But it hurt, 'cause his eyelids was bleedin'.
[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-08-19 17:42 ]
QuoterGal | August 19, 08:41 CET
whose crimes were obscene and deplorable
But his fan club still grew
Cuz his eyes are so blue
And his goggles are so darn adorable
C. A. Bridges | August 19, 08:44 CET
catherine | August 19, 08:53 CET
There once were 2 boys a la Whedon
Who spent one night drinkin' and eatin'
They jonesed for some poetry
And in a burst of word riotry
We made them spend all morning readin'
cabri | August 19, 09:11 CET
korkster | August 19, 09:18 CET
*drools*
korkster | August 19, 09:19 CET
"Freeze" refers to time
Water's flow but not its state
False advertising?
And limerick-style:
So evil did prevail...
Or did dear Billy fail?
In red and black
he can't go back.
But inside? Still the nail.
MindEclipse | August 19, 09:27 CET
Ya think? Crap. If so, maybe I should stop calling her "dude."
And you're right, Cabbie, Tancharoen makes the scansion all tricky and stuff... maybe i should take it as a poetic challenge...
*sigh*
QuoterGal | August 19, 09:52 CET
She sang and she wrote with such bliss and
With tweets she demanded
In rhymes we be candid.
We sent Horriku tweets, our epistle.
cabri | August 19, 09:55 CET
He was sure his heart was playing a trick
But he never could have her
Until she wound up a cadaver
Captain Hammer got to her with his dick
UnpluggedCrazy | August 19, 10:08 CET
zeitgeist | August 19, 10:15 CET
@theonetruebix | August 19, 10:19 CET
She found it quite crude
Amazed she had been saying it all this time
But bix said it was fine
It certainly was not lewd
UnpluggedCrazy | August 19, 10:21 CET
Pointy | August 19, 10:38 CET
S-I-N-G-I-N-G,
First comes yogurt,
Then comes Penis,
Then comes Horrible with his evil meanness.
Yeah, I'm not quitting my day job.
Aloha Joe | August 19, 10:49 CET
Multi-talented Maurissa Tancharoen
Played her Horrible songs on a Sousaphone.
Then she twittered while drunk
And collapsed with a "thunk."
Now she tweets every time with a chaperone.
(Oh, gods, I'm sorry, but "acetone" and "testosterone" just weren't working out...)
QuoterGal | August 19, 10:51 CET
ETA you can hear it at around 2:30.
[ edited by theonetruebix on 2008-08-19 20:04 ]
@theonetruebix | August 19, 10:53 CET
catherine | August 19, 11:06 CET
That said, my rhymes are pretty appalling anyway...
QuoterGal | August 19, 11:08 CET
Pointy, after watching Apartment 4B, I can definitely see Maurissa slamming out a drunken dirty limerick. ;)
This is fun! Keep it up! (Not in the "dance monkeys!" way; just the "let the creative juices continue" way.)
korkster | August 19, 11:08 CET
was quite adorable,
until he donned red coat.
Now he's horrific,
but the blog was terrific,
please say Act 4 you have wrote.
NYPinTA | August 19, 11:16 CET
@theonetruebix | August 19, 11:18 CET
Dangit! And here I've just put on my baboon outfit. It has a rainbow-colored butt and everything!
...
Oh crap. Zipper's stuck.
karosurly | August 19, 11:28 CET
Since the zipper's stuck (hope that doesn' hurt) & all, could you entertain us? I'll give you a cookie. :)
korkster | August 19, 11:34 CET
Dancing monkeys twist
And slide with glee, words flying
through the twitter feed.
cabri | August 19, 11:35 CET
Whose presence caused Billy to stammer.
But Billy as the Doc
Gave the Captain quite a shock.
And now for Doc Horrible the crowds clamor.
I've totally misused "clamor," but whatevs. This stupid suit is hot and I want my cookie.
karosurly | August 19, 11:46 CET
NYPinTA | August 19, 11:49 CET
QuoterGal | August 19, 11:51 CET
Here ya go. :)
korkster | August 19, 12:00 CET
UnpluggedCrazy | August 19, 12:03 CET
NYPinTA | August 19, 12:09 CET
Hulu.com you seduce me,
With your Horrible songs,
And free (with limited interruption)
episodes that are the soundtrack,
To my youth.
A Team! Barney Miller!
Original BSG!
Entranced I gaze
For hours amazed
That I used to crush on “Face”.
…Did you all see that movie where he played a crazy veitnam war vet that would walk out of the woods to a snack stand and ask for raw hamburger patties and eat them? OMG, that was so… oh wait. I’m in the middle of a poem. Right. …
*ahem*
Now sunrise has come,
And sleep has not found me.
Eyes blurred I stumble into the new day,
To tired to find a matching
Pair of socks.
One pink! One magenta!
With black and white polka dots!
A zombie I am,
Working best as I can,
Until I can log on again.
NYPinTA | August 19, 12:26 CET
korkster | August 19, 12:28 CET
Ther' was luvlorn genius,
Who secretly longed to be seen as,
A herald of sin,
With an equine portend,
N'er to bring up his penis.
:D
Charmuse | August 19, 12:28 CET
Actually, speaking of strong female characters, my uncle moved me to make a short about my mother. How unappreciated mothers go. Oh, he'll take it when I write it. And then I'll kidnap his kids and let them watch Dr. Horrible. :)
korkster | August 19, 12:57 CET
karosurly | August 19, 16:16 CET
it would be dancing monkeys
but no: Jazzercise
@theonetruebix | August 19, 16:18 CET
cabri | August 19, 16:41 CET
Penny, a homelessness steward
Thought Billy was hardly untoward.
She went out with Hammer
But that lost its glamour;
A pity she ended up skewered.
For violence, the Doc has resistance;
He likes rays that can work at a distance.
With guns as his strength,
He can stay at arm's length
Till an accident warps his existence.
Doc Hammer has flair that's quite showy,
And his rays are the bomb; even so, he
Oft cries out, "By Hades!
When it comes to the ladies,
They all want to do Evil Bowie!"
The wind rushes by
The young man's ears during the
Atomic wedgie
(Spoilers for Buffy season five and Serenity in the final one.)
Though Joyce did subcumb to an ailment,
And when shot, Book could never prevail, int-
-teresting, to many,
That with vamps, Wash, and Penny,
It seems Joss has a thing for impalement.
Shmuel | August 19, 16:41 CET
Perky, abrasive, loathsome.
Like cars at my head.
Gods, evil that defies description. Evil that cancels everything good and decent and pure in the world. Evil dressed in matching blue spandex leotards.
My eyes, they burn. My ears, they bleed. Please, for the love of Gods, please pull them out of my head.
QuoterGal | August 19, 18:19 CET
cabri | August 19, 18:32 CET
There once was a villain called Hammer
Who insulted the town with his manner
He flaunted his penis (he was really a weenus)
And now he's a Certified Planner
[ edited by Tonya J on 2008-08-20 03:52 ]
Tonya J | August 19, 18:51 CET
Penny is no more.
Dr Horrible may win,
But he also fails.
(that's all i've done, though more will probably come when i've got time to sit and think...)
BrokenThread | August 19, 21:25 CET
Horrible freeze ray
Time stopped, victory at hand
And anarchy reigns
(She sent this to me yesterday, but I keep forgetting to look at my Twitter replies - sorry I'm such a lame-o Twitter-Bud...)
QuoterGal | August 20, 12:42 CET
There once was a villain from Cali who liked to lurk around in alleys; His attempt to stop time only worked on a mime - now he's hero of Silicon Valley!
bookwench | September 04, 14:10 CET