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"I think my bad guys are better than her bad guys."
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August 18 2008

Dr. Horrible Poetry? The Dr. Horrible team challenges us to some creative rhyming and syllable counting on Twitter, asking for Dr. Horrible themed limericks and haikus.

Where's my rhyming dictionary?

I hope they post them somewhere, we can't see anyone's unless we're following them. :(

P.S. uptheapples: You don't need rhyming dictionary for haiku! Oh, wait, I mean horriku, of course. ;)
But it's certainly helpful for limericks.
Mine are horrible (pun intended), and this is bumming me out: I'm not clever enough for this.
You're entirely correct, uta, but I was offering you an out in case you can't track down your dictionary.
can you post without signing up to twitter?
Not on twitter, but you could post it here, I'm sure they'll check out this thread.
Mine, so far.

There once was a Jefferson (Thomas)
To whom the League once made a promise:
   "If you don a swell wig
   And dance us a jig
For membership how can ya miss?"


There once was a normal Professor
Whose evil made him a transgressor
   His goggles were eerie
   And made them all leery
But he sure was a right snazzy dresser.

[ edited by theonetruebix on 2008-08-19 08:07 ]
Due to my horribleness with rhymes, I've been sticking to haiku (or Horriku as I've dubbed them *evil laugh*):

Sweet pretty Penny
Fell hard for a corp'rate tool.
Poor girl got hammered.

Dr. Horrible
The man with the PHD
In horribleness.

That Captain Hammer
Never wears sweater vests, but
dry-cleans them daily.

Billy brought yogurts
Hoping to win Penny's heart
But she fell too late.

Those Hammer groupies
Stalking him until he ran.
Now they're Horriblettes.
signed up on twitter, not enough space to post, so I post here:

First draft:
There once was a man named Billy
whose costume, to some, seemed silly
He built a Death Ray
that killed Felicia Day
And nearly removed Hammer's willy

There once was a man named Billy
whose costume, to some, seemed silly
He built a Death Ray
now mourns laundry day
And wears a visage that's chilly
There once was an equine named Bad Horse
Whose evil League exerted great force
   His chorus could sing
   And rhyme most anything
But if need be he'd stomp code with hoof Morse
Billy and Penny
Sharing yogurt and stories
Hammer will save us
There once was a Leika with fury
Who considered herself both judge and jury
   With her wedding dress worn
   And chock full of scorn
She trapped all men inside Missouri.
Speaking metaphors
Of imperfect nature, the doctor
Fails to impress her.

A league of like minds was established
To rule all of mankind with panache
When Dr. Horrible applied
He was mockingly denied,
And it led to ruining all that he'd cherished.
Mine, so far (though I might be running out of steam):

Bad Horse is a brute with a neigh
That is fierce, in a harsh equine way.
As he gallops terrain
With his long flowing mane
He spreads terror the whole livelong day.

Ah, Penny was bright as the day.
Gathered rosebuds and gave them away.
She was sweet, dear and kind -
There was pain to be mined.
So she died, in a WHEDONesque way.

(This was a "reply limerick" to a Dr. Horrible limerick):

The next word in his poem was "penis"
which lies, like a hammer between us.
All over the 'net
They could never forget
and this joke would return to demean us.
; >

Whedon poem request.
Crazy random happenstance?
- No! sinister plan.

A watery henchman named Moist
Slipped and fell, knocking over a joist.
He died in a pool
Of his blood and some drool
His last gurgles remaining unvoiced.

Memory ripples.
Already the story in flux.
Whatever! and Balls!
You guys are grand! I have to admit, though, I like JadeHand's haiku best: simple but heart-breaking.
I make up in quantity what I lack in quality:

There was a doc in LA;
who tried to make a freeze ray;
the weapon backfired;
Penny's life expired;
Cap'n hammer didn't save the day.

Cap'n Hammer is a tool;
he plays Billy for a fool;
ladies go berserk;
tho he acts like a jerk;
they think he's hot and cool.

He had a PHD (Horribleness),
but Billy’s life was a huge mess.
A pretty girl he adored,
but him, she only ignored,
Penny was occupied w/ the Cap’n of the Penis.

An LA- much like Disney;
All sing: heroes, villains, Penny.
Angels, birds like Magpies,
sing Cap’n Hammer will die.
Even cowboy henchmen sing in key.


Simon Helberg's "Moist";
Dampens 'n' makes soggy my heart;
Evil Moisture Buddy.

Head of E.L.E;
His whinny terrifies all;
Thoroughbred of Sin.

*Sigh* Captain Hammer;
A hero leading the way;
We do the weird stuff.
I agree, Cabbie - it's the one that got me in that whedonesque way.

But now I have to *sigh* try again.
Cool, we've pretty much taken over the haikutwaiku feed!
Here's my final poem - a Horriku, and so good-night, Horribles-all.

Dr. Horrible

When I zapped the gold
I moved it, but I killed it.
All that soft glitter stilled.

(Linnea1928 - I LOVE your last Horriku.)
Penny is dead
Just like Ed
Here are my two contributions:
(my first one is similar to JadeHand's, I see, but I posted it on Twitter about the same time!)

There was a young man named Billy
Whose outfits sometimes were silly
Fell in love with a maid
Whose life then did fade
So he joined ELE not as a filly.

My Horriku:

Freeze ray did stop time
Not soon enough for Penny
Evil League gains new member.

Must go to bed now.
These are two I posted on twitter (but in net speak). Although quite abstract, they are still loosely based upon the DHSAB theme requested. I apologise for them both.

There once was a Jefferson, Fake
Figuring Out how to bake.
He cooked a Bad Horse
Heartburn was Horrible, of course
Hammer cutlery his only mistake.

And for a slightly darker approach:

There once was a blog, along-to sung
Starring No-one Particularly Horrible.
No sequel'll come
Thanks to Bad Horse's dung
The smell deemed somewhat intolerable.
My two horrikus:

freeze ray to death ray
desperate play for respect
leaves Billy hollow

kind girl with red hair
cares for gentle laundry boy
love's horrible dream
Behold the Number One groupie
Proud maker of the weird whoopie
Her “Rise” demo sound
Did Felicia astound
So please put it on the CD
Here's one kind of in the spirit of Pointy's. You have to pronounce things inventively to get the rhymes to work and twist some meanings around, but, there you go.

There was a lovely tv-web thingy,
That pleased our ears with its singing.
The soundtrack was promised.
And promised, and promised.
And still not so much with the bringing.

Disclaimer: Any impatience suggested does not imply criticism. Just impatience.
Oh so fun! Why does this come up on a busy morning? I'm loving the horriku (wonderful coinage cabri!) especially. Two offerings and then I gots to go:

There once was a woman whose flair
unluckily managed to snare
the hearts of two guys
who tag-teamed her demise--
Penny shoulda done laundry elsewhere.

Entering that room
Bad Horse's eyes glint darkly
Penny lost to me
When Team Whedon composed "Dr Horrible"
They hired a cast quite adorable.
With ear-pleasing melodies
and taut plot developings,
the results were quite unignorable.
There once was a quartet of awes
Lead by a hero named Joss
They brought us new plots
And some silly hot shots
And that's why we call them the boss

And some horrikus for good measure:

Captain Hammer smells
Like Red Bull and sweaty socks
But his punches hurt.

Penny likes laundry.
Also doing the dishes
And taking hot baths.
A) Horrible Limerick

There was once a Horrible cackling,
Causing blog viewers much muted laughing,
But then Penny showed up,
With a ray in her gut,
And there was "Evil!" and "No, Joss!" and gasping.

B) Horriku

I got it working
My glorious death ray killed--
I didn't mean to.
You know. I swear to baby Jebus that I have a sense of humor and obviously I love all things Horrible and Whedoney, but something about, "We're drunk and bored -- dance for us, monkeys!" kind of squicks me out.

Meh. I'm sure it's just me.
Well, karosurly, it's not like we haven't demanded that they do the "dance of joy" or sing on command. We're above... oh, wait. Nevermind. ;)

I love these! Oh, and you got this as a response. :D
Well, sure, if you add "dance for us, monkeys!" it changes the tone a little ;)

There once was a guy with a dream
to be horrible in the extreme
so he gave it a whirl
at the cost of one girl
and joined up with the evilest team


He came back to say
"the hammer is my penis"
cuz, screw subtlety

Thoroughbred of sin
wild-eyed rides through our nightmares
black hooves clattering
Karosurly--I don't see it as "dance for me monkey", I see it more as, "we're still coming down from the incredible high of comic-con and we wish we could have some more fan interaction of the Dr. Horrible variety. Who wants to play?" At least thats how I see it.
That was my take, too. 'Sides, if someone asks you to do something you want to do and enjoy doing, how manipulative can it be?

NYinTA asked the Doc if he wanted "hangover haiku" so I've already written a hangover limerick - but more coffee will be required if any more are needed:

There was a young writer named Whedon
Twittered drunk that some verse he was needin'.
All his tweetbuds complied
Which he woke up and eyed
But it hurt, 'cause his eyelids was bleedin'.

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-08-19 17:42 ]
There once was a madman named Horrible
whose crimes were obscene and deplorable
But his fan club still grew
Cuz his eyes are so blue
And his goggles are so darn adorable
Hee hee. Love that one, C.A. Bridges.
I'm assuming our muses were Jed and Zack (if Maurissa was involved too, sorry! Tancharoen didn't fit! ;D )

There once were 2 boys a la Whedon
Who spent one night drinkin' and eatin'
They jonesed for some poetry
And in a burst of word riotry
We made them spend all morning readin'
I'm pretty sure it's Maurissa that's behind the Dr. Horrible tweets. I mean, she & Jed may take turns, but the messages I get are signed MT.
Oo! Now we need one about Groupie #1! :) Totally dug yours, C.A. Bridges. His eyes are so BLUE! And those goggles.

Tweeted last night:

"Freeze" refers to time
Water's flow but not its state
False advertising?

And limerick-style:

So evil did prevail...
Or did dear Billy fail?
In red and black
he can't go back.
But inside? Still the nail.
korkster: "I'm pretty sure it's Maurissa that's behind the Dr. Horrible tweets. I mean, she & Jed may take turns, but the messages I get are signed MT."

Ya think? Crap. If so, maybe I should stop calling her "dude."

And you're right, Cabbie, Tancharoen makes the scansion all tricky and stuff... maybe i should take it as a poetic challenge...

There once was a girl named Maurissa
She sang and she wrote with such bliss and
With tweets she demanded
In rhymes we be candid.
We sent Horriku tweets, our epistle.
Billy fell in love with her right quick
He was sure his heart was playing a trick
But he never could have her
Until she wound up a cadaver
Captain Hammer got to her with his dick
Maurissa told me that it was mostly her with a side of Jed some time back as far as Twitter.
Women can be "dude".
QuoterGal could no longer call Maurissa "dude"
She found it quite crude
Amazed she had been saying it all this time
But bix said it was fine
It certainly was not lewd
I'm not sure it was her, but thank you for the image of Maurissa staggering drunkenly up to computer to slam out a dirty limerick. No doubt before singing all the verses of Lydia the Tatooed Lady.
Billy and Penny folding laundry,
First comes yogurt,
Then comes Penis,
Then comes Horrible with his evil meanness.

Yeah, I'm not quitting my day job.
@ Pointy ; >

Multi-talented Maurissa Tancharoen
Played her Horrible songs on a Sousaphone.
Then she twittered while drunk
And collapsed with a "thunk."
Now she tweets every time with a chaperone.

(Oh, gods, I'm sorry, but "acetone" and "testosterone" just weren't working out...)
Is my memory bad, or is that not how Joss pronounced her name?

ETA you can hear it at around 2:30.

[ edited by theonetruebix on 2008-08-19 20:04 ]
Ha! Well done Quotergal. Sousaphone, hee hee hee.
I sure didn't catch how Joss said it - I went back to listen to listen to this interview to make sure I had it right.

That said, my rhymes are pretty appalling anyway...
Ah, good try QuoterGal, cabri, & UnpluggedCrazy. Those were fun, and improved my mood. :)

Pointy, after watching Apartment 4B, I can definitely see Maurissa slamming out a drunken dirty limerick. ;)

This is fun! Keep it up! (Not in the "dance monkeys!" way; just the "let the creative juices continue" way.)
Dr horrible,
was quite adorable,
until he donned red coat.
Now he's horrific,
but the blog was terrific,
please say Act 4 you have wrote.
So Joss mispronounced it? Heh. (Rhyming it the way he said it isn't easy either. You should see my attempt at it. No, you shouldn't.)
Not in the "dance monkeys!" way

Dangit! And here I've just put on my baboon outfit. It has a rainbow-colored butt and everything!


Oh crap. Zipper's stuck.
Yay! Rainbow-colored butt! Well, I had hoped for dancing monkeys, but I wanted to be *surprised* than demanding. ;)

Since the zipper's stuck (hope that doesn' hurt) & all, could you entertain us? I'll give you a cookie. :)
Because we're all dancing monkeys:

Dancing monkeys twist
And slide with glee, words flying
through the twitter feed.
Uh, yeah. I'll do pretty much anything for a cookie. Let's see here ...

There once was a Captain named Hammer,
Whose presence caused Billy to stammer.
But Billy as the Doc
Gave the Captain quite a shock.
And now for Doc Horrible the crowds clamor.

I've totally misused "clamor," but whatevs. This stupid suit is hot and I want my cookie.
Whoa. We get cookies??
Virtual cookies, I think, NYPinTA - check your browser cache.
Oops! Well, make promises to dancing monkeys.... expect to pay up. ;)

Here ya go. :)
Hey, the last time I asked for cookies around here, samatwitch actually gave me some (and they were damn good, too!). So keep an eye out. ;-)
Great, korkster. Just great. Now I actually want a cookie!
Free form ode to (Please keep in mind I am at work and my poetry sucks. Enjoy!) you seduce me,
With your Horrible songs,
And free (with limited interruption)
episodes that are the soundtrack,
To my youth.
A Team! Barney Miller!
Original BSG!
Entranced I gaze
For hours amazed
That I used to crush on “Face”.

…Did you all see that movie where he played a crazy veitnam war vet that would walk out of the woods to a snack stand and ask for raw hamburger patties and eat them? OMG, that was so… oh wait. I’m in the middle of a poem. Right. …

Now sunrise has come,
And sleep has not found me.
Eyes blurred I stumble into the new day,
To tired to find a matching
Pair of socks.
One pink! One magenta!
With black and white polka dots!
A zombie I am,
Working best as I can,
Until I can log on again.
Did ya'll enjoy the monkeys as much as I did? They're cute.
I posted one last night and went to bed:

Ther' was luvlorn genius,
Who secretly longed to be seen as,
A herald of sin,
With an equine portend,
N'er to bring up his penis.

Didn't kill the thread, Charmuse. I just don't have anything creative to add. I'm more of a thief, really.

Actually, speaking of strong female characters, my uncle moved me to make a short about my mother. How unappreciated mothers go. Oh, he'll take it when I write it. And then I'll kidnap his kids and let them watch Dr. Horrible. :)
We have been given a gift! Of Jazzercise?
Horrible told us
it would be dancing monkeys
but no: Jazzercise
D: Dr. Horrible is eviler than I thought. This must be his red period.
I posted these.

Penny, a homelessness steward
Thought Billy was hardly untoward.
She went out with Hammer
But that lost its glamour;
A pity she ended up skewered.

For violence, the Doc has resistance;
He likes rays that can work at a distance.
With guns as his strength,
He can stay at arm's length
Till an accident warps his existence.

Doc Hammer has flair that's quite showy,
And his rays are the bomb; even so, he
Oft cries out, "By Hades!
When it comes to the ladies,
They all want to do Evil Bowie!"

The wind rushes by
The young man's ears during the
Atomic wedgie

(Spoilers for Buffy season five and Serenity in the final one.)

Though Joyce did subcumb to an ailment,
And when shot, Book could never prevail, int-
-teresting, to many,
That with vamps, Wash, and Penny,
It seems Joss has a thing for impalement.
Jazzercise women
Perky, abrasive, loathsome.
Like cars at my head.

Gods, evil that defies description. Evil that cancels everything good and decent and pure in the world. Evil dressed in matching blue spandex leotards.

My eyes, they burn. My ears, they bleed. Please, for the love of Gods, please pull them out of my head.
I hope Maurissa & Jed are proud of themselves, my psyche will be scarred for years to come. D:
I completely missed this topic somehow. Just posted this on Twitter:

There once was a villain called Hammer
Who insulted the town with his manner
He flaunted his penis (he was really a weenus)
And now he's a Certified Planner

[ edited by Tonya J on 2008-08-20 03:52 ]
mine was... kinda depressing... everyone else's mostly seem... i dunno... funny. :-P wow i have a dark personality!

Penny is no more.
Dr Horrible may win,
But he also fails.

(that's all i've done, though more will probably come when i've got time to sit and think...)
from Melanie1001 on Twitter:

Horrible freeze ray
Time stopped, victory at hand
And anarchy reigns

(She sent this to me yesterday, but I keep forgetting to look at my Twitter replies - sorry I'm such a lame-o Twitter-Bud...)
I tried - you can't twitter a limerick. They're too long.

There once was a villain from Cali who liked to lurk around in alleys; His attempt to stop time only worked on a mime - now he's hero of Silicon Valley!

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