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September 04 2008

LA Times asks the question. Vampires : Sexy or not sexy? Take a guess into which category our favourite vamps fall.

The debate over vampires as heartthrob vs. heart-devourer is old but still valid. For every studly Dracula, rising out of his coffin like Hugh Hefner (back in the 1960s), there's another bloodsucker with giant fangs and creepy eyes and gore-encrusted claws. Just last year we had the horrific "30 Days of Night" and this year we have smoldering Bill from HBO's "True Blood" and, of course, the doe-eyed Edward of "Twilight."

But are they really hot, or horrific? And where do they stack up against the many other bloodsuckers who have slunk across the screen? Our crack team of experts ponders the sex-appeal (or lack thereof) of creatures of the night.

[ edited by debw on 2008-09-04 23:11 ]

I think they are hot because they're horrific...isn't that the whole deal?

I love the write up on Spike. "We win." It's true.

P.S. I didn't realize that it was sacrilegious to pick Spike over Angel, I always thought there were more Spike fans.
Yeah, lets cut that one off right there. If there ends up being any kind of shipping talk springing from this topic there will be "hell toupee", which is like hell to pay, but scarier as it involves a hair piece.
Well, most of them ended up in the sexy category. Not very fair if you ask me but I guess most vamps are sexy. Unless they don't have souls and are on the receiving end of a nice pointy stake.

And those Twilight "vampires," how can they be sexy. They don't suck blood and run around under the sun. If you ask me, more than half the appeal of vampires is the mystique that comes from the fact that they are dangerous creatures of the night. It's the element of not knowing what waits in the dark. If they're running around during the day where's that sexy mysteriousness? Instead, these guys are just cheap knockoffs and the books bad Buffy fanfic.

And making you choose between Angel and Spike? That's just mean.
Is "Hell Toupee" your ELoE submission?
"...the guy blew himself up, literally, to save the world. Angel went off and became a lawyer."

Ha ha ha ha. Touche.

On a more serious note, I love how most articles on this subject never want to discuss the lifeforce/sex metaphor of vampire tales. It's always about how hot the actors are. Whatever.
What, Dracula from Nosferatu didn't make the list?

No prizes for guessing which category he'd be in...

not sexy, right?
Well, you never know. There's probably a gal (or guy) out there that thinks he's just the sexiest ever...
I would not say Tom Cruise as Lestat was sexy, or the Edward Cullen dude. Nope.

But Blade wasn't bad. lol. Maybe not what I'd go for, but he was not not sexy. XD If that makes sense.
Gary Oldman's Dracula was sexy, really? I mean Gary Oldman, yes no doubt. However I did not find him as Dracula in that movie sexy at all. Much too creepy or animalistic or... something.
I agree with Angel and the Count, but the others? Not so much.
Well, Angel and the Count were both puppets, so I guess it depends on which way you swing (i.e., luvin' the stuffin')
Okay, no Buffyverse goodness for those of us who bend towards the girls? Oh, well, I have Mercedes's Playboy layout at home, now just have to wait for Julie and Juliet to loosen up :-).

And props for recognizing Blacula. Bill Marshall, RIP, was a dignified, very gifted actor, who imbued what could have been pure burlesque with true power. And, by not contributing to the otherwise very present comic relief, he allowed a viewer to step back and realize just how well-done and downright scary that movie was. If I could throw a aprty for all my favroite actors from all times and places, he'd be right among them, along with the Jossverse crowd and the old Universal repertory company. ALong with his pals Sidney Poitier and Ivan Dixon of course.
Vampire Willow. Just sayin'.

hell toupee

Hee hee :)

yes, that's all ;)
What?! No Frank Langella? Now he was one sexy vamp.
Vampire Willow makes me feel...quite saffy.
::Glares at the topic::

First off, hell toupee is fucking brilliant and if you don't make a video zeitgeist for entry into the ELOE, we will never let you live it down.

Second, how many times is some rag going to ask if vampires are sexy? If they weren't, do you think all the time, trouble, and expense would have gone into making so many horror films and television shows? Please. Some vampires are old-time monsters, and some are used in a different way (though it's hard to beat back the memory of Buffy telling Spike, "You're not a man, you're a thing ... an evil, disgusting thing."). Yes, but sometimes disgusting things are (never mind). Sexy vampires are like 50s bad boys with their souped-up Chevys. They make you want to be naughty your own self. Plus, they have hypnotic powers so you really have no choice. Well, Christopher Lee did. And yes, sexy. And if there's any sexier (Vampire) scene on film than Catherine Deneuve and Susan Sarandon in The Hunger, I haven't seen it.

[ edited by Tonya J on 2008-09-05 02:30 ]
Sexy Vamps:
Oh yeah Spike
Angel sometimes, sorta
Langella (teenage girl I was... shivered me timbers!)
Louis (Pitt)
Seline (even I'D do her)
Mirriam (agree with Tonya J)
Julian fucking Luna - Nobody tops him in my hotness file. Juuuulian... *sigh*

Barnabas was not sexy in any way, but he WAS one of the coolest.

And can I add Vincent? Though not a vampire, still a tortured creature of the night, with a voice that could move stone.
What, are they saying that Kokistos is hot? Really?

...oh, right, those ones.
Okay, so you all saw me mention Hell Toupee (tm)(c)(r) here. No one can steal it now; posting on a Whedonesque thread is better than copyright!
Barnabas had a toupee... it was pretty hellish.
What?! No Frank Langella? Now he was one sexy vamp

Agreed ... and he's the only one Angel really believed :)
Vampire Willow: "No. This is a dumb world. In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies."

Come on, what's not sexy about that?!? Dare I mention "straddling the Puppy" and playing with matches?
Okay, I don't necessarily buy into all these ratings- I'd put Blade in the sexy category and Edward from Twilight in the not, but just my (male, heterosexual, so not necessarily valid) opinion- but I do want to take a moment to point out the photo credits on the True Blood pictures. How awesome is a name like Jaimie Trueblood, especially if you're snapping photos of someone pretending to be a vampire? Hilarious.
Isn't Hell Toupee a Simpson's treehouse of horror? I think Homer got a hair transplant and he became evil.

Anyway: vamp willow = yes, attractive.
Drinking blood...have to admit...not too sexy. But the wife is a big fan of Vampires. Maybe its a woman thing. Like shoes.
Oh, and to add: vamp Willow, yes on the sexy, but I'll also give a vote to Drusilla. That whole accent issue that helps out Spike, and the crazy thing works for her.
Can't say I ever found vampire Willow attractive. Willow's appeal to me is in how adorable she is. (A curse on Alexis Denisof!)
The Gorch Brothers? Not of the sexy. Proof that not every vampire on the show was. The Master. The Jabba the Hut-like elder vampire, circa early Buffy. Phew. Better put a clothespin on your nose before you let it bite you.
Vamp Willow? Definitely, although my reaction is much the same as Xander's reaction to Vamp Buffy in "Nightmares." "Bored now" still sends shivers down my spine.

Heck, even straight-as-an-arrow me finds Spike sexy. ...did I just say that out loud?
Well, at least you're man enough to admit it.
There is always that, yes.
Vampires do seem to be more often sexy than not. Whether that's something inherent in the idea of the vampire, or just a function of the way they are written, or the actors who play them, I don't know.

Don't feel bad ManEnoughtoAdmit, there are a plethora of Lesbians who find Spike sexy as well. You are in good company.

Transcending some boundaries of sexiness that Spike!
In the "Vamp Willow" debate, how come no one ever mentions Vamp Xander (The Wish)? I found him extremely sexy, unlike "real Xander".
And Spike .... I'd say transcending all boundaries of sexiness. ;)
Whether that's something inherent in the idea of the vampire, or just a function of the way they are written, or the actors who play them, I don't know.

They come at night, they seduce the "innocent", there's "penetration", blood is life, they hypnotise you so that you can be seduced without guilt or responsibility (especially handy during Victorian times), they don't follow societal norms (vampires are - sometimes literally ;) - yer archetypal lone wolf) and so on. Pretty sexy I reckon.

Whether you find specific vampires sexy is presumably just personal taste and/or the slant of the writing/performance.
Vamp Willow was all kinds of sexy. As was Dark Willow. As is regular Willow.

Maybe it's just an Alyson Hannigan thing?
It’s sacrilegious to prefer Spike to Angel? Oh, dear me, I’ve never heard of such a thing, does that mean I am not a die-hard “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” fan?

And the guy blew himself up, literally, to save the world. Angel went off and became … a lawyer. Yeah. We win.

Okay how many wrong things in that sentence? Heh. Well. Me, I rather like Buffy's "dream". Maybe add a vamp Xander for texture ;)

Nice list though. Now I have naughty thoughts (or are they?) about James Marsters and Gary Oldman doing what they do best. Act well. Now that’s sexy.

Transcending some boundaries of sexiness that Spike!

I'd say transcending all boundaries of sexiness.

LOL I think he’d love that. Boost about it more like it ;) “Hear the news, Liam? I transcend the boundaries of sexiness. Hah!”
No need to apologize, GVH, I was joking to begin with and joking will I remain ;).
Heh, I was apologizing jokingly anyway, so that works out ;)
Oh no, the news that it's already been used is crushing me. One of our own in the ELOE. I would have been so proud.
Barnabas was not sexy in any way, but he WAS one of the coolest.

That may change when Johnny Depp plays him.
I hope Depp doesn't go all Ed Wood-y/Willy Wonka-y when he plays him. Frid always tried to play Barnabas with so much dignity. Well, as much as a 60s soap opera would allow...

Still, I can see him most definitely bringing the sexy. When's this supposed to happen?
I think whatever Burton and Depp do in Dark Shadows will be interesting. However, as much as I love and respect their team work and artistry, I am weary, weary, weary, of the sallow-faced makeup and weird get-ups Depp wears in each outing. Depp can act without all that. Please let him Tim. Thanks, me.
Also not sexy:

The Master
Willam Dafoe in Shadow of the Vampire

Okay, that's about it. My secret is out. I watched Buffy and Angel for the sexy vampires.

That's true, actually. My kids kept trying to get me to watch, and I'd say, "Why? She kills vampires" - until I watched Something Blue, and my life changed.

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