Whedonesque : Comments on 17962 : Tom Lenk comes out.

Telling a fast food comapny to hold the irony is just too "unfollowable" an instruction to believe.

Good for Tom he finally felt secure enough in hsi over-all life position to do this. (And I'm always one oft eh first to say that if someone doesn't want to make anything public it's also their call.) I can understand his reluctance given his previous handlers. Surprised that still goes on in "The Biz," however common it might be elsewhere.

DaddyCatALSO | October 28, 17:50 CET

I didn't know he was in, but I'm happy for him.

redeem147 | October 28, 18:14 CET

This = lestastic!

Pointy | October 28, 18:19 CET

Go Tom! And as Joss says, he is very, very f--cking talented.

"Um, Mr. Giles? Faith stole the last meatball-mozzarella stick out of the fridge even though I had called dibs on it..."

We know you did, Tom. We know you did. :)

eroslove | October 28, 18:26 CET

I am shocked, shocked! to learn that he wasn't out before. I <3 Tom, and I hope he's found less homophobic management.

TawnyJayne | October 28, 18:26 CET

I got this muddled up with a headline below and read "Tom Lenk comes out of the Dollhouse" and I was all "woah, he was in the Dollhouse?"

Sparticus | October 28, 18:27 CET

Hooray! He's awesome. I would love to see him on tv more.

Sunfire | October 28, 18:36 CET

Awesome. :D

Never really thought about it. Andrew, yes. Well, I kinda just assumed he was gay because of Warren and Spike, heh. Tom, not really. lol. XD But ya know, congrats to him and all. Woot. :)

Stupid management. Hope he's gotten a better one now. lol. :D

[ edited by druzilla on 2008-10-28 18:51 ]

druzilla | October 28, 18:50 CET

Good for him. Congratulations to'im!

GreatMuppetyOdin | October 28, 18:51 CET

Yay Tom!

Now he should probably just date me. That's the next logical step in my head. *shrug*

wonderflonium | October 28, 18:56 CET

Okay, so I had no idea Tom was gay. I knew that it was very heavily implied that Andrew was gay but I didn't know that it was suspected that Tom himself was. Anyway, cool that he's out. He is really funny and I'd love to see him in more projects.

RCM | October 28, 18:57 CET

He is awesome. Hope to see him in more stuff in the future, the awesome guy that he is.

redders | October 28, 18:57 CET

Tom Lenk is wicked talented, and I think he has an amazing career ahead of him (he already has some wonderful credits to his name, although I wish his role in Transformers had been bigger).

embers | October 28, 19:08 CET

I love Our Tom - he has all my praise and support for coming out, and Mega-Boo-Hisses-Times-Eleventy to his hateful former agents who enjoyed making fun of gays.

'Cause, you know, it's so dad-blamed original and clever and brave to make fun of gays. How proud they must have been of what was no doubt funny, funny, oh so funny homophobic jokiness.

(And how honestly cool of someone at the agency - no doubt an overworked underling - to let him know about these feeble little sniggerings, so he could make an informed choice and dump them as his reps.)

More Tom, More Often! If he has another live show in L.A., I am running there with everyone I know to watch.

QuoterGal | October 28, 19:59 CET

Some of Tom's YouTube stuff causes me to go into almost-hysterical mode. With tears. Trudy. Ahhahhahahah!!! Heart of the Matter!(NSFW). Singin' Britney's Gimme More - wow! (Sorry, no linkuses - I'm blocked at work.)

I love Tom.

m'cookies actual | October 28, 20:05 CET

Wholly unnecessary, but nice all the same (and probably a not too minor weight off his shoulders). Now let's ask Advocate to put the article online so we can link direct. :)

daylight | October 28, 20:13 CET

Loved Tome before, love him just as much now. He's one of my favourite Buffy alums to spot in other things. For example, his brief appearance in Transformers was the high point of that whole flick for me.

Nolan | October 28, 20:15 CET

In a world where most people assume you are straight by default, which is a pretty difficult environment for gay folks to grow up in (not even counting homophobia), it's wonderful to have people whom you admire disclose their (GBLTQI) sexuality- it helps you feel that yes, this world is also for us.

zillah | October 28, 20:23 CET

Good for Tom!

fortunateizzi | October 28, 20:46 CET

Must admit, I also didn't realise he wasn't out. Still, it takes bricks to do something like this I reckon, good for him.

Saje | October 28, 20:51 CET

Good for Tom! Just because many people assumed doesn't make it any less a brave decision to out one's self. Hollywood is as tough a place as any to be openly gay. I hope this decision only helps his career, as NPH's seems to have. The man's got a lot of talent, and I'd like to see more of it!

The Acolyte | October 28, 21:02 CET

Good for Tom!

badwolf | October 28, 21:07 CET

zillah:

GBLTQI

Is that a coded reference to Stephen Fry?

daylight | October 28, 21:28 CET

Daylight: you win teh Internets today. (I've made a trophy. It's built with PVC tubes.)

Casira | October 28, 21:38 CET

Color me both unshocked and unfluffed. Very proud of Tom for this big step, though. :-)

OzLady | October 28, 21:55 CET

Good for you Tom!

nightmareabbey | October 28, 22:24 CET

That is so great! Yay Tom!!!

Harmalicious | October 28, 22:46 CET

Wonderfully, now I can officially get in line as a marriage candidate for Tom. YES! If I was just prettier, on a different continent and funnier. :(

Donnie | October 28, 23:07 CET

I always assumed he was gay...but good for him for saying it I guess.

I know people like to know that there are great and wonderful admirable people who are gay in show business, but I just don't get the obsession with knowing.

Obviously he came out on his own, and that's great, but I always hate the constant speculation. Gay or Straight, what matters to me more is whether or not they are good people, that's what I find admirable.

DaniVampsForJoss | October 28, 23:26 CET

DaniVampsForJoss, it matters to other GLBT folks who want to feel included and see people/role models being proud of who they are. Celebrity "outings" is a very powerful and necessary step toward true equality in our society.

I would, of course, prefer that the outings be completely voluntary.

[ edited by TamaraC on 2008-10-29 00:07 ]

TamaraC | October 29, 00:06 CET

Good on ya, boyo! Success and happiness to you.

nutterbudgie | October 29, 00:21 CET

Heck, this was not something that was new. But the interesting thing is the idea of being "officially" out. Tom is gay, Always was. So what? What does it matter? It's just a beautiful part of who he is. I don't see that there are announcements that someone is officially hetero. I wish we did not need them when someone is not. Though I understand the pride in noting that "this is who I am."

What is interesting to me now as well is that I am in CA for a conference. And on TV there are just horrible ads about Proposition 8, to ban gay marriage. You cannot believe the lies that are being put on TV about what this; that school teachers will have to teach kindergartners about gay marriage, about how it will do terrible things to children, etc. Man, I am boiling as I write this.

[ edited by Dana5140 on 2008-10-29 01:28 ]

Dana5140 | October 29, 01:27 CET

Put me in the group that doesn't really care. He's a talented actor and seems to be a fine human being. Much more relevant to most of us IMHO.

stevekaw | October 29, 01:33 CET

I'm glad you are angry, Dana5140. Everyone should be.

TamaraC | October 29, 01:33 CET

Yes on 8 folks have been shameless, Dana - strategically pulling out the old chestnut, "Will no one think of the children?" None of the stuff they've said about what children will be "forced" to do, what teachers will be forced to teach, what churches will be forced to do or not do - is true. The school superintendent has clarified it for them, our teachers unions & associations have come out against Proposition 8 - to no avail. They just keep repeating the same old stuff, hoping it'll stick if they throw it enough times.

Pro Prop 8 Money pours in from out of state, mostly from Utah - this is an important national battle for same-sex marriage rights, and the homophobes are running scared - and the lies continue. I'm pretty angry, myself, especially after a weekend in the mountains when the only "No on 8" sign - was ours.

ETA: Corrected mis-type, as pointed out by TamaraC.

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-10-29 04:06 ]

QuoterGal | October 29, 01:48 CET

daylight:

Is that a coded reference to Stephen Fry?

I have no idea what you're talking about. Care to fill me in? :-)

zillah | October 29, 01:58 CET

QuoterGal, I think the very first word of your most recent post needs to be changed to "Yes". The "No" folks? We're the good guys. :)

TamaraC | October 29, 02:02 CET

When people say things like "What does it matter" or "it's not important", I think they are probably trying to be supportive, but I personally feel that statements like that undermine not only the actor's fortitude, but also how important it is for many of us to have visible, successful gay people in our society. I'm very grateful whenever a gay celebrity willingly comes out.

(Why don't hetero people make statements about their sexuality? Because they don't have to, they're routinely assumed straight by default).

zillah | October 29, 02:14 CET

We're veering off topic, but I think we'll be able to kill Prop. 8 here in California. It's not just that it's hateful, but most Props go down pretty easily these days. Californians like to push the "no" button. If only we could get some of the public transportation bonds and the like to be worded so that "no" means "yes..."

Fortunately "no" on Prop 8 means "no, don't take a basic right away through the CA constitution."

RBB | October 29, 02:16 CET

May I inject a word in here edgewise? You're both right. Please stop, you're hurting my ears.

Madhatter | October 29, 02:18 CET

Wow, now there's a shocker! I look forward to the day that this sort of thing is greeted with no fanfare of any kind at all. To me, it is a total non-issue.

What is upsetting to me is when militant gay folk (and I've known one for years at a few movie forums) pick on celebrities for not coming out. I don't think anyone should be forced to do anything they aren't comfortable with. Fear is a powerful quotient, and even if a couple is bisexual and has children for instance (I won't name names) it makes me nauseous to see the hatred towards them. That said, more power to Tom, who made me laugh and weep on Buffy because he was a good actor.

Tonya J | October 29, 02:25 CET

Heck, this was not something that was new. But the interesting thing is the idea of being "officially" out. Tom is gay, Always was. So what? What does it matter? It's just a beautiful part of who he is. I don't see that there are announcements that someone is officially hetero. I wish we did not need them when someone is not.

Spoken like a true hetero.

I'd love to live in a world where people are accepting of all shades of sexuality along the Kinsey Scale - but in any accepting world, the process of coming out still applies. You need to come out to yourself. You need to accept who you are before others can or will.

It's great to wish of world where sexuality is simply accepted for what it is - one part of a person's make-up - but we don't live in that world. And that world is a long, long way off.

So until then, comparing it to the notion of "coming out as hetero" seems dismissive and unnecessary. Like the people who say "I don't care what he does in the bedroom" - which is not really the issue: gay men and women get persecuted for holding hands and showing affection in public.

Tom Lenk should be applauded for coming out. Every gay person who comes out should be. The process is different for everyone but there should be no shame in it at all.

crossoverman | October 29, 02:49 CET

I'm gonna get up on the box of washing machine powder for a moment and says I always think it's commendable when someone comes out -- so long as there is an assumed "norm" and some people believe anything that is not "the norm" is less than good (and then try to pass legislation/job discrimination/housing discrimination because of this), it's important to stand up and be counted. Surely many people on this board has wrestled with the issue of whether to "come out" as a fan, because there are bound to be people who don't get it. Now imagine it's an issue even more fundamental to your being.

Specifically about Mr. Lenk (though not about his coming out), it's touching to see that he's still in touch with his fellow Trio-ists. A few weeks ago, I was privileged to see Tom Lenk and Danny Strong on stage together at the M Bar in Hollywood in the "Beyond Belief!" segment of the "Thrilling Adventure and Supernatural Suspense Hour" (a live theatre spoof of '40s radio drama). Funnily enough, they played two of a, yes, trio of young men who encounter an evil clown down a well, who is ultimately vanquished by a woman (though not with a stake through the heart). One didn't have to reach too far to make some mental connections with some roles they'd had a few years ago :) And Common Rotation, the band Adam Busch is in, played a set right afterwards.

Shapenew | October 29, 02:54 CET

COM- not sure if you misread me. I agree with you. At the same time, my point was, it does not matter. Period. You are what you is. Gay, straight, does not matter. Now, of course, it does to a lot of people. But it shouldn't. Which is why I applauded Tom for stating "this is who I am." It takes courage in our current environment. I realized this yet again earlier in my conference visit. I finally met a woman with whom I had worked on a research project, but we had only spoken via email. I had not clue what she looked like, how old she was, anything. But we met. And we were kibbitzing, and I noted that I was stuck here (yes, stuck in San Diego!) for a week and I missed my wife. She commiserated; she was also stuch here for several days and she missed her partner, a woman who worked in some other field. And that fact did not initially register on me, because it does not matter to me, but later it hit me hard. Somehow she is either simply out and proud or felt that, by osmosis, she could simply state this without any concern to me. Because it is a risk, you know? I was shocked to find out that sopmeone I know quite well is a hard conservative- and I did not know. And had she said same to him, her receptionj would have been much colder. That's not really a worry I have.

I got it, COM. In my perfect world, it should not matter.

Dana5140 | October 29, 04:05 CET

Congrats, Tom!
I'm going to send some money to the "No on Prop 8" people, even though I live in Minnesota...

miri47 | October 29, 05:30 CET

About time, really....

Nah, it takes cojones to do this. Even though the majority of his fan base may well have surmised it years ago and has been waiting patiently in his corner ever since.

ManEnoughToAdmitIt | October 29, 05:47 CET

Yay! Good for him! It's not an easy thing for actors and others in the public eye to come out of the closet, and I understand why they'd feel reluctant, but I believe the more they do come out, the sooner it becomes so commonplace for there to be out gay celebs, that someday it wont be a big deal anymore.

That said, in some places of the world, and unfortunately even in some places in this country, coming out can put your life in danger. It's important for everyone find a safe time/place/way to come out, and a safe person to come out to.

I wish everyone a safe coming out! BTW, isn't October officially Coming Out Month?

electricspacegirl | October 29, 05:53 CET

In the U.S. and some other countries, National Coming Out Day is October 11th. And in case it's ringing bells in a confusing way, Pride Month is June in remembrance of Stonewall.

Sunfire | October 29, 06:05 CET

As long as folks think it matters whether you're gay or not, it matters whether you come out or not. Until it matters no more...

As long as people want to legislate away your right to marry or adopt or look after your sick loved ones, then it matters if you come out.

No one should come out until they're ready - at 14 or 44 or 74 or whenever - and they should do it however works best for them.

ET: fix une espèce de typo.

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2008-10-29 06:45 ]

QuoterGal | October 29, 06:43 CET

Hmm... I've got no issue with Tom talking about his sexuality in this interview. However, I do have an issue with the way the media now seems to be reporting it, or anyone who decides to openly talk about their sexuality. Somehow, just the very fact that it's still considered NEWS. There's been quite a few celebrities recently who everyone with any sense has known them to be gay for years, but have then officially come out in the media for one reason or another, and the media reports it as shocking news.

Crossoverman - something about your post has irked me, and it's not that I completely disagree with you. The world isn't perfect, and there's always going to be intolerance. And when there are young gay men who don't feel comfortable to hold hands with their boyfriend on the street, it makes sense for a few famous faces to stand up and declare their sexuality and their pride in it to try and change perception. My point is, does it? I think the days of being loud and proud should at least start to be over, the days where being gay is still shocking news. I think it's probably much more powerful when gay celebrities are pictured holding hands with their partners without having to state that they are gay and how shocking it is, where it appears completely normal. I'd much prefer it if everyone could just be unapologetically themselves without having to declare that they are somehow different, because they aren't.

flugufrelsarinn | October 29, 09:50 CET

Yay, good for him!

Ameer | October 29, 11:23 CET

GBLTQI

daylight: Is that a coded reference to Stephen Fry?

zillah: I have no idea what you're talking about. Care to fill me in? :-)

zillah, Stephen Fry is (in the UK at least) a well known gay writer/director/performer who presents a TV programme called 'QI' (short for 'Quite Interesting') which is basically a comedy panel quiz wherein various urban myths and misconceptions are debunked and contestants are (jokingly) awarded points for either the right answer OR imparting some relevant bit of trivia that's Quite Interesting. He used to be in a comedy double act with Hugh 'House, MD' Laurie.

Saje | October 29, 14:12 CET

Yay Tom!. And .... well, duuh> ;-)

Shey | October 29, 14:38 CET

I didn't realise that this was a thing. I thought he was already out? Oh well, awesome, best of luck to him.

Green Queen | October 29, 15:45 CET

Saje: Thank you!!! I remember 'Fry and Laurie' but I'd never before heard of QI!

zillah | October 29, 21:07 CET

October 28 2008