The Christmas movies that never were - Cast&Crew

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December 22 2008

The Christmas movies that never were. "Time Out pitches a few ideas for future festive favourites..." Both Alyson Hannigan and Sarah Michelle Gellar are cast in "potential" Christmas movies.

Baby? Jesus!
Starring Jonah Hill, Alyson Hannigan
Rotund, loveable high school doofus Joe (Hill), finding out that his nerdy, virginal best friend (Hannigan) is pregnant with the new Messiah, poses as the father so her uptight atheist folks don’t get suspicious.

Nasty Nativity
Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Tom Welling, Wilmer Valderama
Ex-TV heartthrobs Gellar, Welling and Valderama play Mary, Joseph and Jesüs, three high school teens who find their friends (Wendy King, Joe Shepherd and Bob Innkeeper) being picked off one by one by a masked loony in a Santa hat.

floofypooh | Cast&Crew | 15:12 CET | 12 comments total | tags:

Somehow I fail to, well, I guess I see the humor but I just don't feel it, yinonamean?

I have a slightly different problem with the one involving McKellen and Stewart, albeit it's with the casting, not the plot.

Altho if Ina Balin could do it, SMG can.

DaddyCatALSO | December 22, 16:19 CET

DaddyCatALSO, I doth not think 'tis you who failed. 'Twas but the article what failed to be particularly humourous, methinks. I hath no clue as to why I speak thusly.

GreatMuppetyOdin | December 22, 17:47 CET

Some of them were pretty funny, I thought

Let Down | December 22, 17:48 CET

eg.

All-White Christmas
Starring Chris Rock, Reese Witherspoon, R Lee Ermey
New York gangsta Rock has been dating Southern belle Witherspoon for over a year, but now he has to travel down to Alabama for the holidays and meet her Klan. Quite literally! ‘Meet the Parents’ collides with ‘Birth of a Nation’ in this riotous race-relations romp.

Let Down | December 22, 17:49 CET

Yeah, not every single one was funny. But Baby? Jesus! and All-White Christmas would actually work as movies, given a good writer doing the scripts. Seriously. Think about it.

GVH | December 22, 17:56 CET

Someone should tell the person writing that Alyson Hannigan really isn't at the age to play high school students anymore.

Though I did notice that Olivia Williams, Whedonverse-resident-to-be, was also mentioned in one of them.

kishi | December 22, 21:04 CET

Both Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan are the right age to play seasoned, world-saving Scoobies in their prime, maybe battling an evil Santa bent on disemboweling children.

Hey, it'd be Buffy with a Christmas theme. What's not to like? :)

quantumac | December 23, 08:40 CET

The idea of the serial-killer-Santa has been done. It was called "Silent Night, Deadly Night," and it stirred up a bit of controversy back in 1984.

Jim in Buffalo | December 23, 11:32 CET

Some of them were pretty funny. The "Baby? Jesus!" concept is actually pretty hilarious. As for Alyson Hannigan being too old to play a high school student, these are movies that never were, so obviously "Baby? Jesus!" was not made while Alyson was still a teenager.

And Danny Strong should definitely have been the one to not play her loveable doofus best friend!

barboo | December 24, 09:22 CET

Also, "Silent Knight" is obviously a Christmas movie about Batman having a crisis of motivation, and withdrawing from Gotham City, until a miraculous meeting with a mysterious woman restores his faith.

barboo | December 24, 09:24 CET

I don't get it?

Mayor | December 26, 00:17 CET

These are hilarious.

theforgottenslayer | December 26, 13:29 CET

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