This site will work and look better in a browser that supports web standards, but it is accessible to any browser or Internet device.

Whedonesque - a community weblog about Joss Whedon
"Okay - this is because of going through the portal, right?"
11978 members | you are not logged in | 22 January 2019


December 31 2008

Start the New Year the Horrible way at Whedonesque. Remember this? Well we're now looking to update the quotes section that appears on the top right of the page with dialogue from Dr. Horrible. So post your favourite lines from the musical in the comments section.

And here's to 2009 being the year of Dollhouse!

The hammer is my penis.
The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.
"And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."
I hate the homeless......ness problem.
What a crazy random happenstance.
Oh, goodness, look at my wrist, gotta go.
I've got a Ph.D. in horribleness.
I meant Gandhi.
Is that the new catch-phrase?
"I'm working with a vocal coach."
We do the weird stuff.
They say she works with the homeless and doesn't eat meat... we have a problem with her.
The Thoroughbred of Sin?
"Captain Hammer will save us."


...too soon?
So they could buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become florists.
"If you're not a friggin 'tard, you will prevail!"
I hate the homeless... ness problem that plagues our city.
I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like.
pat32082, that's an awesome one. Only fanbois will get it, but fanbois and gurls we are.
Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.
Yeah we totally had sex.

Especially that guy he smells like poo.

Billy you're driving the spork into you're leg.

[ edited by property of Mr Gordo on 2009-01-01 00:42 ]
"And I won't feel a thing."
Captain Hammer: Corporate Tool
"Hammer, meet nail!"

"I wanna be an achiever. Like Bad Horse."

"Heroes are over with."

"At my most badass I make people feel like they want to take a shower."

"It's a good day to be homeless."
1) What? Do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny?
His terrible death whinny?

2) It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.

[ edited by Tonya J on 2009-01-01 00:33 ]
Can we do Commentary! quotes, too? Or just Dr. H? Hedging my bets:

"Sing-Along Blog--what the **** is this, preschool?"

"Do you need anything dampened? Or made soggy?"
And the status is *not* quo.

Smells like cumin.

Poser in a Parka.

And the birds are singing that you're gonna die!

Her tears will dry when I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia.

[ edited by XanFan32 on 2009-01-01 00:38 ]
Wonderflonium - Do Not Bounce
Peace! But, umm, not literally.
Because the status is not quo.

Happy New year to those in Central Europe!
It a sea shanty song my mother used to sing to me. My pirate mother.
A letter of condemnation from the Deputy Mayor. That's gotta have some weight so.....fingers crossed.
Catch Guild fever.

Also Happy New Year!!!
Next up, who's gay!
The Penny is her p----.
(Since we're allowing 'Commentary!' quotes) Happy 2009!

[ edited by embers on 2009-01-01 00:56 ]
I gave Joss a twenty and got back a dream and two fives.
"So strike for all the writers, Strike for a living wage.
Until these wrongs are righted we won't write another page."

"That's the point, Joss, it's compelling!
What's going to happen to these kids?!?"

"Moist! My evil... Moisture... Buddy."
"Besides, there's kids in that park, so..."

"You've got more than enough hours to get into the Henchman's Union."

"You look horribly familiar."

"I don't go to the gym. I'm just naturally like this."
"Mommy! Someone maternal!"
Anarchy, that I run.
I apologize if I get some of these slightly wrong. I'm just going on memory, but when I watch it again for the, like, twentieth time since the 24th, I'll edit and correct.

From Dr. H:

"Why is this fire exit blocked?!"
"Oooh, sarcasm! That's original!"
"I kinda thought I was gonna wind up with bait..."
"Hammer meet nail!"
"Um, this is about the building?" "I'd love to sign!"

From Commentary!:

"An internet musical is a wacky idea that's zany!"
"I phoned it in."
"Maurissa, stop using your bedroom voice."
"I don't discuss my process."
"I understand the timing constraints on the... internet."

Awesome thread, by the way.
Tell you how, how you make, make me feel... Whatís the phrase?
Like a fool, kinda sick, special needs, anyways...
Ooo and: It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in minds.
"I have dozens of loyal fans!"
Wonderflonium - Do Not Bounce

I was going to suggest this one. Rachelkatchel, you are not my nemesis!
* I mean, if youíre going to get into the Evil League of Evil you HAVE to have a memorable laugh.
* By the way itís not about making money. Itís about TAKING money.
* Bad Horse is legend. He rules the league with iron hoof.
* She talked to me. Why did she talk to me NOW?
* I'm a fan of laundry.
* I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now he's taking her out on dates, and they're probably going to french kiss or something.
* SO as of tonight I am in the Evil League of Evil if all goes according to plan; which it WILL because I hold a P.H.D in Horribleness.
* Look at me man. I'm Moist. I mean, at my most bad-ass I make people feel like they want to take a shower.
"...I will stop the pain."
And from 'Commentary'-
* Moments like these sell DVDs, we need to sell more. (We've only sold four!)
* When you hear the lawyers talking saying our behavior's shocking, it's convincing as a Cockney Dick Van Dyke.
* I'm proud I walked the line with writers, fans, and friends of mine.
* Who's got the high score on Ninja Ropes?
* FD- The Guild Season 1 available on DVD, plus new episodes at, we also have t-shirts! JW- FELICIA!
* Make a musical? Don't matter if it's witty or pretty. That's a one-way ticket to Butt Kick City.
* The moment is so fleeting. Bur our talent is so vast!
Awesome thread... too much volcano drink to post, but Happy New Year's everyone!
1. "They say it's better the second time, they say you get to do the weird stuff."
2. "We do the Weird Stuff"
3. "So make the bad horse gleeful, or heíll make you his mare"
4. "...and she may cry but her tears will dry, When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia"
5. "So close. Iím just a few weeks away from a real, audible, connection"
6. "You need anything dampened or made soggy"
Can we include favorite lines from the Easter Eggs?

This is mine from Dead Bowie mocking Fake Thomas Jefferson:

I love Bad Horse. I love his horsey bum ... kiss ass.
"Don't tell him it's a musical, 'cause then he might kill us all."

"It was alright. I kinda thought I was supposed to end up with Bait, but... "

"Wow, sarcasm! That's original!"

"Dude. You're NOT my nemesis."

"Suck it! I gave him $15."

"I'm texting. It's very important, otherwise I would stop."
"There's no happy endings, so they say (not for me anyway...)"

"Here lies everything I ever wanted at my feet..."

"A maaaaannns gotta do what a maaaaannnns gotta do!"

"Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?"
"They say it's better the second time. They say you get to do the weird stuff."
Ahem, try this one on for size:

" Sales Rank: #2 in Movies & TV"

AlanD, I love that this is still up way there. I'm showing it to a friend tomorrow and I expect he will buy a copy afterwards as I will not let him listen to Commentary!
- "Look, I'm just trying to change the world, okay? I don't have time for a grudge match for every poseur in a parka."
- "How are things with cheesy-on-the-outside?"
- "And Penny will see the evil me. Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure."
- "Amazing how sheep'll show up for the slaughter."
- "You know, while you're all jibberjabbering, I'm watching the scene and you know what I see? Not me. And this isn't the first 'Not me' scene I've noticed."
- "Songs can hurt like a fist."
- "I'm the black sheep in a band of brothers who sit around singing show tunes giving backrubs to each other."
- "Oh sure I have the power to make paste from a powder but last time I did that no one rejoiced."
- "It doesn't matter where I'm listed on IMDB, (it's last, but in the meantime I think you'll agree), it's all about me"

[ edited by Slipping About on 2009-01-01 05:23 ]
"So make the Bad Horse gleeful, or he'll make you his mare!"

"All the birds are singin' 'cause you're gonna die!"
"Yeah, it's two R's. H-O-R-R- yeah right. BURN!"
Here lies everything
The world I wanted at my feet
My victoryís complete
So hail to the king

That's the plan: Rule the world. You & me. Anyday.

My God, Joss is cheap
and he doesn't mind wasting your time.

[ edited by CrystalSC on 2009-01-01 04:52 ]

[ edited by CrystalSC on 2009-01-01 04:53 ]
Another pleasing little quote from Commentary!, which I haven't seen anybody comment on yet, tucked away in Steve's Song:

"And, yes, on the horizon there's a sequel"

love your hair
no IÖI uhÖ love the air

All the birds are singing
That youíre gonna die

this world is going to burn burn (yeah itís two Rís, h-o-r-r yeah right) burn!
"You've got the Deltoids, of compassion."

"A Man's Gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"She talked to me...but why did she talk to me now?"

and I'm going to repeat one but it's a favorite of mine...
"These are not the hammer.....the hammer is my penis."

Shiny New Year everyone!
A Man's Buchananity is what separates him from reptiles, and lawn furniture.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! in advance and to those already celebrating in other time zones.

May 2009 bring some measure of peace to the world and less violence to women and children. I plan to pray for more enlightenment tonight before bed. 2009 would be a good time to check out Equality Now (the preceding has been a service announcement on behalf of Joss and the memory of Du'a Khalil).
Ok, how about this from the Commentary...

"My name is Neil
and I'm here to say
Wakka-poo--- Pbbth!"

Happy 2009!
"Oh sure, he does magic. Magic's not real!"

"Look at his smallness compared to my tallness."

"Who do they want before they want an Asian? A Mexican."

I also must second/third/agree with:

"And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie."

"Because the status is not quo."

"Bad Horse is legend. He rules the league with an iron hoof."

"Did you notice that he threw you in the garbage?"

"So make the bad horse gleeful, or heíll make you his mare!"

Also this probably wouldn't work, but it's been quotable around my house since Christmas:

"So good!"
Happy new year to the North American East Coasters!
There will be blood, it could be yours.

What a crazy, random, happenstance!

Is that the new catch phrase?

head up Billy Buddy.

Next up, who's gay!
Penny: Well Iíve gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times.

Billy: I canít imagine anyone firing you.

Penny: Neither could I. Now I can visualize it really well.

And a Happy New Year to all. :)
So go kill someone! Signed, Bad Horse

Itís curtains for you Dr Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains

Moist: Smother an old lady.
Billy: Do I even know you?
"...depressing shot."

"my Kids in the Hall-ness, my Pink Floyd's the Wall-ness"

"Let's not talk to Joss...he's sad and confusing."

"$10 solo...not bad so far /
There's internal rhyme /
Though not in every instance /
And the meter is occasionally a little bit bizarre..."

Happy New Year!

[ edited by ladygrey on 2009-01-01 08:14 ]
I can't believe my favourite line isn't taken yet!

"Weren't you the Tin Man in Wizard of Oz?"
"...yeah, but I played the **** outta that part."

Happy New Year everyone!
"A thing". Cause that line just killed me at the end.
"And I won't feeel ..... a thing."
"The only signature he needed was my fist. But with a pen in it. That I was... signing with."

"What, do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death-whinny?"

"You're driving a spork into your leg".

"What a crazy random happenstance".
"I don't need tiny cue cards."

"I don't have time for your warnings."

"Life's not a competition, tiny."
"But home is where the heart is, so your real homeís in your chest"
"Give my regards to St. Peter - or whoever has his job, but in hell."
"I also need to be a little bit more careful about what I say on this blog; apparently, the LAPD and Captain Hammer are among our viewers."

Hope everyone's having a happy new year so far!
My wish is your command
"... in their own not that heroic way".
"Everything... happens."

Happy New Year, My Fine Folks of the Whedonesque persuasion, and that includes the folks we talk about as well as the members.

I'm the only one left standing from my party. I'm used to it, though - this happens every year.

They are all such lightweights.

Kisses and stuff.

Drive safe and sober if you're still going somewheres...
Ah yeah, good point QG, err, Happy New Year to everyone. I would've said it in my previous post but i'm currently not in my happy place.

Turns out my happy place is a place without hangovers. Who knew ?
Ah, hangovers is moider - I hates 'em like poison.

I don't drink much these days, just to sorta make up for those days of yore when I did actually go it a bit, but tonight there was a lil' bit of champagne bubbling about, and I may or may not have had a few-ish number of glasses, depending on who's asking. I think I will happily avoid a hangover. I pity you from the bottom of my heart.

But sadly, a few drinks maketh me awake, while they sendeth out my compadres in festivities. I must try and go to sleep to be in step with my homeys.

Ta. *hands Saje a filled-icebag, a pillow, ear muffs and eye shades.*
Smells like cumin.
He's legend; he rules the League with an iron hoof.
... to the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo if I throw poison in the water main.

(We must be at well over half of the lines that exist by now, methinks...)
I know they've all been said already, but my favourite lines.

"What a crazy, random happenstance."

"Because the status is not quo."

Simon, that line breaks my heart, too. "I don't feel ... a thing."

Happy New Year, everbody!
Sorta of quiet nerdy thing; not my usual - but nice.
The deltiods of compassion, the abs of being kind; it's not enough to bash in heads, you have to bash in minds.
A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary, alcoholic BUMS. Everybody!
Happy new year to everybody...
Started it by re-watching doc Horrible, and I was gonna quote more than 3/4 of it, but I narrowed it down to:

"lot of guys ignore the Laugh, and that's about standards"

"Love your hair" "what?" "No...I...I love the air.."

"the fish rots from the head, as they say, so my thinking is, why not cut off the head?"

"The day needs my saving expertise"

"I say successful in that I acheived my objective, it was less successful in that I inadvertently introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams"

"Peace... but -uhm- not literally.."

"But you know who does that? Lassie, and she always gets a treat"

and, of course:
"And I won't feel
a thing"
My favorite line is:
"What a crazy, random happenstance."

But for the new year, I feel the need to borrow a little of Penny's hope-filled altruism:

"There's good in everybody's heart
Keep it safe and sound
With hope, you can do your part
To turn a life around."

Happy New Year, all! May we see in 2009 the world finally growing wise.
Can't believe nobody put...

"I wonder what your captain of"

Happy New Year!!!!!
2009 + Dollhouse = Very Good Year
You'll be ignored at comic-con.
It's not a... perfect metaphor.
No one mentions these but they always make me chuckle:


"Life of crime."

"It's not a 'no'."
Who are we kidding? Every single line in Doctor Horrible, and the Commentary! is quotable.
"I wonder what hes Captain of?"
Captain Hammer: Stand back, everyone, nothing here to see
Just imminent danger, in the middle of it ME!

Dr. Horrible: I wanna be an achiever, like Bad Horse.
Penny: The Thoroughbred of Sin?
Dr. Horrible: I meantÖ Ghandi.

Newspaper headline: Country mourns What's Her Name

TV subtitle: Captain Hammer: ďI hope to set an example, you know, for children and stuff.Ē

Is there a line left that hasn't been quoted? Well, maybe one or two....

"What about your clothes? I don't love these. See ya!"

"Even in the darkness
Every color can be found
And everyday a rain brings water
Flowing to things growing in the ground"

"It came from pain"

Happy New Year, everyone!
Aahahahahahaha-a-a. Ahaha-a-ahahahaha-a-a-aaa.
Reading this thread makes it clear why DHSAB is so very re-watchable. But I do have a special affection for "Hammer, meet nail!"
Happy 2009, everyone. May it be much better than 2008.
I've been re-listening to Commentary! The Musical! And I have a new favorite song, AND new favorite quote:
"it's all about me"
And it's true, too. It is all about me.
"Freeze Ray. Tell your friends".

Happy New Year!
Felicia, finally discussing her "process" on Commentary!: "My tortured actor's process, stand here and do what Joss says"
"Why not cut off the head?"
"Of the human race?"
"I don't love these!"
Yes, it does seem as though every line is quotable gold.

It's not enough to bash in heads, you've got to bash in miiiinnnnnnnnddddsss. that's a Must Have. (that entire song is among the funniest frickin' things EVER)

Glad to see someone mention one of MY faves, that gets neglected.

Billy: I can't imagine anyone firing YOU.

Oh! and people never mention another fave:

So, how was your weekend; spend it hunting wild signatures?

Penny: Neither could I; but now I can visualize it really well.

Also: Here we are, meeting for the very first time.

"Need anything dampened? Or made soggy?"

Make the Bad Horse gleeful, or he'll make you his mare.

Bad horse, bad horse, bad horse, he's bad!

You know, the whole thing is so IDIOTIC, really. I mean, the Evil League of Evil? Come ON, people!

The only doom that's loomin' is you lovin' me to death.

Edited to add: LOL. When I submitted, the quote on this page was "I'm a hair's breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment...." (A friend lent me the movie Buffy. I know as soon as I see it, I'll have to watch the entire show again. It's been many months now.)

[ edited by tehabwa on 2009-01-02 01:14 ]
Here are a couple that haven't been said yet. (At least my find function couldn't find them.)

"Yes, Captain Hammerís here, hair blowing in the breeze."

"This is his dry cleaning bill...four sweater vests."

I just love how vain Captain Hammer is. Happy New Year everyone!

[ edited by AliciaJo on 2009-01-02 01:16 ]
ooo! ooo!

"All that matters, taking matters into your own hands."

(The problem with lyrics, though, is, then I get the song stuck in my head for, like, forEVER.)

And I agree with others that a Must Have is that single word: Balls!

(As my mother used to say: "Balls," said the queen; "if I had them, I'd be KING!")
"...make the Bad Horse gleeful,
or he'll make you his Mare."

When I first heard this line, I screamed: "Oh, no he didn't!!"
"a heinous crime, a show of force (a murder would be nice of course)."

"These are not the Hammer."

"Captain Hammer threw a car at my head."
"Because the status is not quo."

"These are not my penis...... The hammer is my penis."

"It's not enough to bash in heads, you have to bash in minds."

"We do the weird stuff."

From commentary! the musical:
"I've got dozens of fans - baker's dozens!"

"We won't have those awkward pauses.........[awkward pause]"

"It's a most uncommon commentary."

"It came from pain."

"So strike for all the writers
Strike for a living wage
Until these wrongs are righted we won't write another page"

"I've paid my dues
$10 solo
Worth every dime"

"I'm better
Better than Neil
At so many things
It's hard to conceal"

"My tortured actor's process
Stand here and do what Joss says"

"My little song is buried
Not 'til the commentary is it voiced"

"And if I had the screentime I deserve you'd see
It's all about me"
I think the commentary and DVD extras may eventually be ruled out of bounds, arguably rightfully. But the ELOE warning is not part of the extras, but a legitimate part of the work of DHSAB, the DVD, as such. So I nominate: "This video disc is designated for evil uses only, and any and all non-evil use will result in immediate self-hatred."
I'd quote something from my DVD, but I was just notified by that the release has been cancelled. WTF?
Psych! I love it!

[ edited by Vanessa_A on 2009-01-02 16:03 ]
This is one of my favorites and it's not up here yet.

"All the cash, all the fame--and social change!"
What about

"Oh, look at my wrist! I gotta go!"

I love saying that to people to end the conversation. Well, at least in my head. ;)

This thread has been closed for new comments.

You need to log in to be able to post comments.
About membership.

joss speaks back home back home back home back home back home