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"Given that you're a raping scumbag one tick shy of a murderer. I can't recall, do you take sugar?"
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April 16 2009

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries. Buffy, Firefly and Serenity are all mentioned in this extremely funny list.

I never would have thought to put "Firefly" in those terms. Never occurred to me. Some of those are pretty good, esp. Batman and "Superman Returns."
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.

That one is pretty good, I'll admit :)
"SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad. "

That should read "deadbeat dad and stalker."
My favorite was Titanic.....kinda true, too.
Haha brilliant
They filmed A Confederacy of Dunces? All right! (and I never read it, just liked the idea)

As as a good evangelical Republican, Is hould be offended by their description of Passion of the Christ but soemhow I can't stop chuckling long enough to get into a proper state of miff.

[ edited by DaddyCatALSO on 2009-04-16 01:37 ]
I thought the description for Firefly was pretty funny.
This list is hilarious! The Whedon ones are so-so, but i love the ones for Se7en, Star Wars, Titanic, and that Aliens and Terminator have the same description.
MILK: Uppity queer dies.

HAHAHA!
That did get a grudging chuckle out of me.

Specifically: ''THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST: Mel Gibson fulfills fantasy of showing a Jew beaten to a bloody pulp and killed on-screen.''

But the Batman and Buffy ones were almost as funny.
Some very funny stuff there...
Hah, some of those are really funny. I like the Harry Potter and Passion of the Christ especially.
Watchmen one isn't good... I really never saw any evidence for Ozymandias to be gay. People tend to overlook the fact Rorschach is repulsed by women and go to the guy who idolized the Greek.

Also, Frodo and Yoda are not midgets.

Yes I know I'm taking it too seriously. I take fandom seriously, thank you very much.
"BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome."

That's by far my favorite.
"CHANGE OF HABIT: Rock star regrets not looking closer at contract with movie studio."

You know, that could be said of pretty much all of his movies.
What's weird to me is, that list made me oddly interested in some of the things, where I had never had any interest before.
Mine for Angel: Unemployed civilians go to work for mass murderer, die.

And their Snow White one needs work. how about: "Woman convinces child labourers to provide her food and shelter using sex appeal."

I don't think the Serenity one is accurate (she's not that scantily clad). Firefly one is, which is a shame (and ditto the lack of Asians!), but of course I wouldn't trade Fillion and Torres in their respective roles for anything.

Menomegirl: Yes. I wonder why they picked the one with Mary Tyler Moore?

[ edited by WilliamTheB on 2009-04-16 05:13 ]
I get the joke, I just don't find it funny.
LMAO

GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.

JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.

MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
Some of them was hilarious. Others not so much. Loved the Buffy one though :)
Cloak was NOT spoiled!(I'll concede the point for Dagger ;)Cloak just had a speech impediment...
Reminds me of Adams æbler (great film, way funnier than the description makes it sound), which was actually descriped, in the program guide of the festival I saw it at, along the lines of: "Comedy about terminal-ill cancer patient that get's tormented by a Neo-Nazi determined to destroy his faith." Could have fitted right into this list, I'd think.

About the fake taglines on the linked site, some are funny, a lot of them aren't (IMO).

[ edited by the Groosalugg on 2009-04-16 12:30 ]
Actually, I didn't a lot of them funny, mostly because they're making stuff up and trying to pass it off as if they are revealing some obscured truth.
The ones that are funny are also accurate, if from a different viewpoint. Like Bladerunner. That's pretty much true. And JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back. Or KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child. True, so funny.
THE LITTLE MERMAID: Precocious girl taught to shut up and spread her legs to get a man.

I'm just saying...
As far as I know, sadly, "A Confederacy of Dunces" has yet to make it to the screen. Which is a shame, it being one of my favorite books, but it would be a hard story to really do right. Cynical self-loathing is harder to do than wacky slapstick comedy.
@Septimus

Right?! Guy falls in love with beautiful girl who is incapable of speech. Not progressive.
I agree with everyone. Some of these are funny and some really aren't. The one that amused me the most was in the comment section: "ROCKY: Bodybuilder writes movies, wins award. 33 years later, nerd-war ensues."

WilliamTheB-I have no idea. Maybe because of the nuns thing? Kinda like Two Mules For Sister Sara but with music and 60s clothing. Or something. I dunno.
Some where really funny.. I loved the Buffy one.

also liked the

"MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds."

and

"CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways."
"GONE WITH THE WIND: Rich, white slave owner enjoys getting raped, miscarries."
Reminded me of a cut exchange from the Life of Brian screenplay, where Brian (pretending to be a preacher) rants about how people do various heresies "...and join false sects!", and someone mishears it, "Enjoy forced sex?!".
This is great!

Favorites:

Terminator: Unplanned pregnancy creates problems.
Golden Compass: Criticism of Christianity is upstaged by polar bear fight.
Watchmen: Homosexual destroys New York, blames God.
I get that the list is supposed to be funny, but it shouldn't also be wrong.

"SCOTT PILGRIM: Emotionally immature musician sleeps with high-school girl." he doesn't have sex with her.

I noticed more summaries edited for the sake of snark.
Some of these are pretty good. Liked the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Jurassic Park and Buffy ones.

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