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"I played a very bad hand very well. There's a distinction"
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July 02 2009

USA Today guide to the various "rules" for modern vampires. Compares True Blood, Twilight, and, of course, Angel.

USA Today finally clarifies the endless "can vampires grow hair?" discussion! Well, I for one am very relieved.


Just realised that USA Today is probably not canon. Now back to being worried about continuity among Angel's (and Spike's) various hair stages.

[ edited by Sparticus on 2009-07-02 15:04 ]
OK, not that into it. Only the "Try Pig blood, you'll like it" was funny.
For the Angelverse, there are a few bits that are incorrect.
They got the whole sucking thing wrong as it's "they suck your blood, you suck their blood", you may or may not get buried and then rise rather than they suck your blood, you get buried and rise and THEN you suck their blood.

Was Angelus a lousy role model for a vampire? Seems like, pre-soul, he did a pretty good job of training up Dru and Spike. Yes, he was a pretty lousy role model for a human, but, hello, vampire, evil.

And, finally, Darla came back from being staked. Special case yes, but it happened.

So, not 100% correct, but still kinda fun.
They also could have mentioned that otter blood helps out with the pig blood flavor.
And, finally, Darla came back from being staked. Special case yes, but it happened.

And Spike famously returned from being incinerated. Another special case, but just sayin'.
That DB picture is absolutely droolworthy! Mmmmm....


Back on earth, they forgot the growly noise for Buffy/Angelverse vamps when it's time to feed or fight, or when they're just generally feeling growly. I always loved the growl!

I thought this would be funnier and give a good excuse for Twilight mocking. Then again, I don't really need an excuse to mock Twilight.
Seems like (without having seen the other versions) that Joss had a few ideas of basically streamlining* the whole concept .

The newere properties seem to be focussing on "What can we do that's boffo, baby?"

Carpenter and Tarantino seemed to just drop old traditions for the sake of wiggling their bottoms and saying "Oh, look how progressive and independent am I."

By allowing vamps to be pained but not hurt by weapons that aren't wooden or magical, and eliminating powers like shape shifting, he made the fighting easier. By having stakign destroy rather than just paralyze them, ditto. By having them blast into dust, eliminates Slayers beign charged with murder ala Dracula's Duaghter/Night Stalker. The "game face" gives them more visibility as monsters instead of "criminals." Eliminating sleeping in coffins and especially the sleeping on antive soil thing makes the vamps themselves easier to move around freely where the story needs 'em. (In my own story "A Party at Helmine's" she uses a canopy bed with a layer of soil between box spring and mattress :-).)
Yay for Angel still being prominent enough to be tossed in with these newer vampire series as a cultural focal point. (And over Buffy's vamps to some extent, even if they did away with the slightly more kabuki bumpy vamp face.)

As for body changes, yes they're hypothetically ageless but that did become a bit problematic for Angel. (While Boreanaz is still handsome and continues to be a TV leading man, he looked incredibly different over the nine-ish years from the very start of Buffy to the end of Angel) Oooh, plus I think they have established that hair changes right? In the season seven of Buffy I seem to remember a Spike with his roots showing.
On Buffy/Angel, their hair continues to grow, yes. And they can grow facial hair.

It's been interesting to see what True Blood keeps and drops for rules (though probably not all that unique to seasoned vamp fiction lovers). I'm glad they did away with the 'ol cross = cringe device for that particular series, no holy water either I'm pretty sure.
Is the facial hair thing for sure?

The follow up comics for Angel specifically use the growing of facial hair as a major differentiation between vamp and nonvamp. Then again, Angel was a lax on the 'being in sunlight/being near sunlight' thing (during the first season especially, with those big office windows), so maybe it switched? Clearly a minor point, but seeing as we're pulling it all apart anyway :)
Is the facial hair thing for sure?

yup ... in Amends we see Angelus with a mustache ...
Good call, I had forgotten about that.
They stressed the whole "as long as it's not direct sunlight thing as of Angel Season 1. Although they also kinda did it as early as "What's My Line Part 2". Remember when Kendra knocked out and trapped Angel in a room where sunlight was coming into the room as the morning wore on ? Angel hid behind a shelf or something, but clearly he wasn't in the dark, he just wasn't being hit by the sun's rays.

"Amends" really fudged things too. Magic snow, anyone ? Just because there's serious cloud cover doesn't mean the sun delays in rising that morning. The rays still get through (at least, the UV rays do, as you can get sun burns in cloudy weather, it just takes a lot longer), just more weakly and refracted as far as I know.

It's almost like it has to be a clear day for sunlight to be a serious risk to vamps.

Spike in a car with the windshield painted black, plus cardboard over some of it, also allowed him to drive during the day when he made his escape with an unconscious Dru in Buffy Season 2's finale.

I forget if they ever cheated with full body suits and goggles or anything like that (as in Blade), if that allowed vamps to walk during the day. Wasn't James (James and Katherine being two vamps Angelus and Darla hung around with for a bit) able to walk in the daylight as well, as a result of having his heart removed ? He also couldn't be staked because there was nothing there to stake. There's another example of an exception, albeit an exception due to magic and a unique move that came with a ticking clock limit on the remainder of James' life.

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