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"I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."
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October 12 2009

21 great sci-fi insults. Includes a few from our favourite shows...

"I don't understand."

"But it's so cute that you're trying!"

Ballard and Topher
"Of the two people in this room, one is a genius and the other is a security guard in a very lovely suit."

Topher to Dominic
Aw they had a Dead Like Me quote. <3 I miss that show =(

Of course also nice that they had Buffy, Angel, and Firefly.
A little off-topic, but Dead Like Me has always been my favorite Bryan Fuller show. I wish it got more love...
And some Babylon 5!

Zoe's line from "The Train Job" is one of my favorites.
I've always been a fan of the trained ape without the training. :)

Happy to see the Life on Mars love but really, practically anything Gene Hunt ever said should be on this list...
Firefly definitely had the best insults in there. I like seeing Farscape getting some love too :)
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle" might qualify as an insult. And considering it's one of the funniest things ever written...
Oh, some of those were priceless!

I could've come up w/some better ones for "Buffy," though. Like "Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher."

"And your hair...what color is that, radioactive?"

"Does this sweater make me look fat?"
"No. The fact that you're fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look...purple."

"When I want your opinion, Spike, I'll...never want your opinion."

"You love that tunnel more than me."
"I love syphilis more than you."

"Great! I'll call Xander, ask him to join us. What's his number? Oh, yeah: 1-800-I'm-Dating-a-Skanky-Ho."

"I have to stay and clean up. I'll be back in the Middle Ages."
"Did you ever leave?"

"You need a personality, STAT."

"I'm very fond of cross-referencing."
"Do you do stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?"
I've always liked the one from Cordy in "The Zeppo;" words may not be exact here but "Wow. Of all the humiliations in your life, that was the latest."
"My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle" is one of my favorites, too.
"I think he's a psychotic lowlife."
"And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community."
Loved these. I was always a fan of, "I don't know what everyone's talking about. That dress doesn't make you look like a hooker."
Wasn't Spike's line from "Bargaining", not "Lessons"?
Yes, you could have entire lists of 21 from each Whedon show (and Dead Like Me, and Wonderfalls, for sure). But I"m very impressed by the people who can rattle these off without spending 144 hours with DVDs.
"The god of what? Bad home perms? ...I just had no idea gods were such prancing lightweights. Mark my words, the Slayer is going to kick your skanky lop-sided ass back to whatever place would take a cheap, whorish, fashion victim ex-god like you."
So many, many good ones! Joss and his writing team(s) are pure genius.

"Topher has ethical problems. TOPHER."
"You love that tunnel more than me."
"I love syphilis more than you."

I actually have used that line of Spike's quiet a bit since I heard it way back in the day, sometimes with like instead of love. It's funny you wouldn't think you would get set up for it often but it happens.
I have always liked Oz's "I mock you with my monkey pants!"
Here's some more great BtVS insults:
"Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"
"Listen, uh, you know, you wanna dance, you know?
With you?
Well, uh, yeah.
Well, uh, no!"
"Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge!"
"Hello? Caveman brain?"

Here's some SW ones as well:
"Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerfherder!"
"Would somebody get this big walking carpet out of my way?"
"Don't call me a mindless philospher, you overweight glob of grease."
"Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This
is never good."
"Well that works out great. You don't tell anyone I'm the slayer and I won't tell anyone you're a moron!"

"Oh I'm sure you'll go to college one day, Xander. I just know that your pizza delivery career will take you so many exciting places!"
Awww, no Rygel? He had the best insults.
"Oh Crichton. For once listen. When a woman, whether she's your wife, your lover, or a slave you purchased to be your wife or lover, leaves you repeatedly take the hint."
Sigh. Buffy and Angel are not sci-fi shows. But inevitably, that dialogue is the most witty, no matter what list it ends up on. Dr. Who runs a close 2nd. Very, very funny, thanks.

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