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November 02 2009

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma'ams,

I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where 'hood' was capitalized 'cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the 'grapevine' that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.

No, you didn't miscount. That's four -- FOUR! -- zeroes after that one. That's to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here's what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don't ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture -- and my pretend play -- as any I can think of. It's far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator... of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far... back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? "Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!" RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he's a cyborg and he doesn't give a s#&% about the ring -- it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he's doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

3) Can you say... musical? Well don't. Even I know that's an awful idea.

4) Christian Bale's John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there's a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar -- and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There's more -- this brain don't quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) -- but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I'd like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including "Song of Norway" (no current franchise offer). Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Four zeroes, eh? Should they maybe give Ringo a little less? ;v)
Whee! Always glad to have you share new ideas with us, Joss, no matter how tongue in cheek!
Hey, I've got... let's see... $14.85 right here. I'll gladly add it to the pile of anyone who'll bring us some more proper Terminator.
Roland, Lorne Michaels offered three grand. I adjusted for inflation. (And that band was going nowhere.)
Darn it.

Now, I have to delete my 2,000 page Terminator/Lord of the Rings mashup novel, I've been writing for the last three years. You beat me to it.

More Glau. Hey. There's a reason they're called "Summer" movies.

I did not groan at this at all. No siree. But feel free to add my $1.26 - I'm a college student :( - to the collection!

[ edited by EvilFirePixie8 on 2009-11-02 18:40 ]
I'm so excited, Joss producing, directing, AND writing the new Terminator/LotR/Batman cross over! Franchise possibilities abound! Life is so exciting.
Good luck Joss. But dont forget your other show, the one I love, that.. doll-something. It kinda already has the magic stuff - that will allow you to plumb those depths. Humany depths.
Delightful. Direct link here.

ETA: The main link has been updated to point to the article in question, making mine redundant.

[ edited by peacemonger on 2009-11-02 22:25 ]
I'll donate! More Summer Glau robots!!! She's way hotter than Arnie.
In a perfect world we'd have a Terminator, Lord of the Rings, Batman, non-musical, porno crossover directed by Joss Whedon.

But the best we can hope for is to elect a black man president, and more Tina Fey, and perhaps to put a man on the moon. Someone has to have dreams in this day and age. Le sigh.
I don't think you can say no to a Terminator musical. With McG trying to get the "Spring Awakening" movie going, that was probably next on his list anyway. And yikes, if someone's going to do a Terminator musical, I'd much rather see it done by Joss than McG.
I'm all for this proposal! You, Mr Jossman at the helm of Terminator would be like, well, you at the helm of Terminator, which would be like, wow!

I have, um..., £8.07. And a button. And a tic tac with a bit of fluff on it (but I think that'll wash).
So how much does that total in USA-ian?

I'll also donate some Strepsils and Soothers for Christian Bale.

[ edited by Shep on 2009-11-02 18:42 ]
Hey, I would be first in line for a non-musical Terminator/Lord of the Rings throat lozenge extravaganza...but hey, one robot filled, R rated musical number in act three wouldn't hurt anything.
Can we get a deal for Terminator AND Lord of the Rings? *pulls out wallet* I add yet another "0" to Mr. Whedon's four.

*right clicks and deletes Terminator musical lyrics file* "I'll Be Back" will never catch on anyways...
Awesome. I might actually go see a terminator.(The old ones were out before I was born, and haven't been bothered to watch them, the new one didn't appeal to me, but I watched the series.)
I feel cheated. There's nothing about people owning actual Terminators in this post at all.
How is it that even his "business" letters are funny and witty and great reading?!

That does it. I'm going off to purchase the Angel complete set... its the only Joss-thing I don't own and never could get "into". I heartily pledge to try again and get past the "oh my god he left Buffy and moved to LA" thing that plagued me for so many years.....

Oh, ps. thanks for opening registration!
Dear Terminator owners-

Give Joss the franchise, and I'll kick in an extra $7... and 53 cents. Cash. How's that for a deal?
Whoops, I was born before 2003. :|
I'm so down for theTerminator movies to stop getting less cool... Joss, direct please please

Funnily you're actually the first person who came to mind when I thought about who I wanted to own the Terminator Series. Forget the amazing talent you have for just one sec: You would actually care about making the new works interesting, challenging and artistically beautiful, even if it was just as a producer. (Since I know You're busy with that other show I'm obsessed with. The one Beren77 mentioned.. doll-something)
What an offer. I can tell how much Jossir wants this franchise. And clearly, he is willing to stop at nothing to get it.
Direct link here.

Thanks. And for the record I think an all-musical Terminator movie is the last great untested creative frontier.
So, how long before this turns into actual 'Joss attempts to buy terminator franchise' news articles on the interwebs? :) Or, possibly 'Joss to direct terminator musical starring Summer Glau'.
Traffic alert, just in case - whedonesque was linked in comments!

Some can only marvel at the power of the purple prose... me, I like reading it, copying it into Purple folder and then rereading it in hopes of figuring out the cipher.
Sorry, Joss. I already called dibs.
Second on the list was Neil Patrick Harris, because he probably has the funds (hmm well maybe Alyson Denisof... Eliza Dushku? oh screw it let's face it... everyone in the Whedonverse is an underground cult God who is outrageously talented but hard up for funds... Normally this is a good thing (the being outrageously talented instead of a repeating one-hit wonder) ...

except when Terminator goes on sale
I'm with b!X. This is false advertising - it definitely implies that Terminators are available and about to go up for sale or auction! That's the only reason I clicked on the link.

I feel cheated.
Love it! Thanks for the awesome, Jossir!

After "Terminator of the Rings" hits the theaters, I hope you'll consider doing a Terminator/Firefly crossover. Two great tastes that taste great together!

Terminators in Space! Terminators and Cowboys! Terminators in cunning hats! Terminator-Summer-Glau coming face to face with River-Summer-Glau, potentially causing the earth to explode from awesomeness, thus requiring John Conner to send a Terminator back (forward?) in time to prevent the Summers from ever meeting! The possibilities are endless!

[ edited by ladygrey on 2009-11-02 18:55 ]
My second ever posting eclipsed by a blue rider of the purple sage! Curse you, Whedon!

(Although this was your best writing since your last studio rant-disguised-as-love-letter.)
Thanks. And for the record I think an all-musical Terminator movie is the last great untested creative frontier.

And let's leave it that way, shall we, Sunfire?

[ edited by Lioness on 2009-11-02 18:56 ]
We definitely need MOAR Terminator. With the SCC cast. Bale out. No lozenge could salvage him. Directed by Joss? WIN.
Yes, more Glaubot, please.

(Hey, why stop at musical? Make it a ballet: Glaubot vs. the Serving Girl.)
That was good throwing Titan A. E. in there, Joss. Sure to convince people to let you have their IP.

Hey, namecheck some Atlantis: The Lost Empire, too.

I have only seen the first two Terminator movies, because my husband (hey Whedonesquers I got one of those!) refuses to allow me to see the others. He wants me to continue to believe that Terminator = awesome.

Is this some sort of oppressive patriarchy thing, where he's trying to protect me from the real world?
I laughed, in the middle of my computer science class, reading this.

Well played Mr. Purple, well played.
I haven't enjoyed any of the Terminator franchise since the second movie, honestly, but if it stopped getting less cool I would definitely be interested.
Honestly I think a "Terminator: The Musical" would be better than the last two Terminator films. I could see Nathan Fillion playing John Connor. Also the HK needs to be replaced with a design similar to a Firefly model ship. Plus after seeing Alan Tudyk as Alpha I am pretty sure he could pass as a terminator.
Something tells me anything Joss touched would be cooler. Except Melrose Place - the ratings are already plummeting (oh how the networks just can never find an audience these days for anything that's not reality TV). Not that I'd be opposed to Whedony soap opera goodness. It'd make a hell of a guilty pleasure even less guilty and more pleasurable.

End tangent.

Terminator run by Joss would be amazing! And a time travel series needs no explanation on a reboot.

Plus after seeing Alan Tudyk as Alpha I am pretty sure he could pass as a terminator

And he already has experience playing a robot.
I can't imagine how the T:SCC diehards would react to such a thought. "Joss, the killer of our show, taking over?!? NOoooOOOOOooo!!"

Actually, if I were Joss that'd be my sole reason for posting such a comment.
I have dugg and linked, but I think we need to post this at imdb so the press will pick it up as an important news story.
All this musical talk got "Going Through the Motions" from our great Buffy musical stuck in my head. Great job, guys.

Fillion as John Connor... I'll take that.
Hey Joss, maybe you could buy Superman too, and do something decent with that? I don't understand why there has never been a good Superman movie. You might like to throw a few actual fights in, that would help things along nicely.
I fully endorse this plan, Terminator would be in much better hands with you at the helm, Joss.
Brilliant idea! Terminator:SCC was one of the more exciting shows in the past few years and I miss it dearly! And think I might be the one of the only people who enjoyed Salvation lol
I just saw that tag on the post. Epic tag.

That is all.

Also, epic post.

Now, that is all.
Terminator... of the Rings!

Or Merchant Ivory Terrminator?
Dollhouse/Terminator crossover! The musical!

Hey, if the Simpsons can do a musical of Planet of the Apes, then this is do-able!
jamesthegill said:
I can't imagine how the T:SCC diehards would react to such a thought. "Joss, the killer of our show, taking over?!? NOoooOOOOOooo!!"

Actually, if I were Joss that'd be my sole reason for posting such a comment.

Actually that sounds like a scarily plausible master-stroke plan.

...And here we are, broadcasting it to the world.

Browncoats! Report for Information Suppression Duty!
Terminator musical FTW. Maybe including a reality bending meta song about a throat lozenge. Because loads rhymes with lozenge.
*shudder* Now is that in delight, or horror, at "Terminator the Musical"? Probably both. "Once More with Lots and Lots of Pain and Shiny Mechanical People"? Yep, both.
Empties pockets...nothing. Opens billfold...nothing. Signs into credit union account...crap.

Umm...Joss? I'm sorry, but...I don't have anything to donate to this very worthy cause. Although...if you were to create Terminator horses, then...I could customize some of my Breyer model horses to battle-damaged Terminator-horses, and sell those to raise funds for the movie. ' come only humans were cyborgs? Why not a Terminator horse? Can you imagine a Percheron cyborg charging at you? Ouch! Or a Terminator Rottweiler.

That'd totally be made of win.
I make a mean omelette. I'm not sure how that would help, but it's there if you need it.
Maybe it would help if you added another zero? You could be really sneaky and add it before the dollar sign....
Oh my gosh, this is awesome!
First Glee and now Terminator. The list of things I haven't gotten into yet, but plan to get into because of Joss is becoming too long. I downloaded er, purchased very legally, Veronica Mars because I read Joss recommending it in the archives, but I still haven't made time to watch it. The Jossir has crowded my schedule very much. (This owing partly to the hypnotic influence of his other stuff that keeps begging for rewatches and eating large portions of my time.) I gotta get cracking on this stuff so I can start in on Terminator now. If Dollhouse gets the back nine I'll just have to quit my job to make time for more Whedon and Whedon-recommended stuff, which is obviously more important.
Will there be bunnies?
The problem with you doing a Terminator movie, Joss, is you'd try to shoe horn a plot into the 120 minute action sequence, and you'd also probably make the movie say something. (Many things, in fact, because you'd also probably add too much pesky quotable dialogue). Man, would it suck for a studio to have a meaningful, well reviewed, good buzz summer flick like the one with the husky voice guy in the cape. Madness, I say.

[ edited by gossi on 2009-11-02 19:44 ]
Joss- I'll add in my $1000 to help out. That would make me 1/10 of a partner with you. But I get a say in who you kill first.
A Terminator musical would be simply the greatest movie ever made, knocking Serenity of the #1 spot. Joss give us a paypal donate link, we'll help you buy the franchise!
How about $10,000 AND 0.50* to give the rights in perpetuity to a dead guy, who will be the only one -- with his signature -- capable of ever changing that. This way, we are free of any more smeggin' Terminators films.

* = Is it okay if the fifty cents is in pennies?
By the way, I don't think Joss was getting at us donating to the Terminator franchise. I think he's trying to say he could make a Terminator movie which wouldn't suck. Which was kind of the problem with the last one, in my humble but expert opinion.
I've got...$21 to donate. Also a handful of leftover Euros. I know little about the Terminator franchise due to non-sci-fi-ey parents and having been born in '87 (though my dad did drag me to see the third one in high school, and I have seen season 1 of T:SCC), but I'll contribute to anything Joss-y.
How much are you willing to buy Wonder Woman for? $10,000? I'll chip in a buck fifty.

On the Topic, I adore the Terminator franchise for some reason. I can even see past the flaws of the third movie (not Salvation, though - McG had JD's basic visuals down but nothing else made sense). T:TSSC is amazing, and I'm sure Josh Friedman might have a couple of dollars behind his couch he could chuck into the deposit.
And already Twitter has people thinking Joss is doing a Terminator movie.
How can one person contain so much awesome?
Awesome. Now what would Joss do with the keys to a love story vehicle? Harold and Maude remake anyone? (I'd pony up the 10 grand to see that) Maybe have it take place in space.

Now that's a musical waiting to happen..."Harold & Maude: A space musical by Joss Whedon."
It would help if people would actually READ what's behind the Twitter links. Geez.

(Not that we'd really complain if Joss bought Terminator, but that's not the - or his - point.)
I'll add $100 to the pool! (well..I can raise $100. I've got like $2 now)
And if the Jossir wants to make a Terminator movie, or continue the TSCC story I'm all for it.

and I'll take any musical he and co wants to do.
Even after spending the last ten months watching Buffy and Angel (for the first time), Firefly and Serenity (for the fifth or sixth time), their comics up to the present--and also Fray and X-Men and Runaways, Toy Story, and Dr. Horrible (including the musical commentary--also hilarious), I've begun November (I believed) fully and completely "Whedon'd out."
As a physician, I hoped over-immersion would cure me of this strange curse of unbecoming and unprofessional giddiness and delight at anything creative associated with the mind and pen of (and casting by) Whedon. [Btw, anyone else think Dr. Horrible is a subconscious manifestation of Joss's own desire for love and despite toward the complacent establishment?].
Anyway, seems I failed.
I read his letter to "The Terminator Owners" and chuckled with guilty pleasure. Unfortunately, when recently watching an episode of the new sci-fi drama Flash Forward or even established shows like Heroes and Lost, I find the urge to drop in a Whedon DVD, any DVD, knowing I'll find greater entertainment.
I guess I'm "terminal."
I loved Titan AE.
I can just see it now... "Mutant Enemy presents a Joss Whedon film: Terminator 5." Ah, if only wish fulfilment were that easy...
Have I mentioned lately how much I love Joss?
Just the other day, I discovered my mom is a big Dollhouse fan. I was quite shocked-she's very religious and kinda prudish, watches hardly any TV, and hasn't watched any other Joss works. Anyway, I started gushing about Joss (as I often do), explaining his other creations and his great charity work...and I think somewhere along the way I converted another recruit to our great cause.

The great part about the dialogue my mom and I had, was we were able to be completely honest with one another about the different topics and issues Dollhouse raises. So, I think on top of everything else Joss has done for me, I think he has helped my relationship with my mom become deeper and, just maybe, a little less dysfunctional.

Back to the topic, Joss+Terminator+Batman= more awesomeness than I could ever possibly hope to express here, so I won't even bother, and leave it to all those who posted further up the page.
However, I will say that although I'm not a Christian Bale fan, I would love to see him do a Terminator/Batman crossover musical. Because, who are we kidding? Joss can make anyone look good doing, well...anything.

Oh, and, my mom? Big fan of the first two Terminator movies. So, now I'm off to share this lovely tidbit with her, and hopefully convince her to add some of her friends to our ranks here.
Hey we could go crazy recycling the old ideas to make the franchise new. Imagine:

"The Buffinator."

"The Angelnator."

"The Fireflynator."

"The Govenator." Oh wait... that one's currently playing.
(Illyria's post freaked me out for a second, since Illyria is my name on a bunch of forums, and for a second, I'm like "I didn't write that...")

Yay!!! I believe Points 1-5 just demonstrate an excellent business plan, but it's #6 that really sells it. Makes it worth that extra 0.

Is anyone thinking what I'm thinking? That this provides the perfect opportunity to actually get a River versus Cameron Showdown? The man said More Glau. How can you get more Glau than that? could throw the prima ballerina from "Waiting in the Wings" into the throwdown, I guess.

Jossman...thank you for this highly inappropriately timed distraction from my crippling homework due tomorrow.
Godzilla meets Terminator?
"The Fireflynator."

The Operative.
Sorry if I took your forum's just b/c I've been here so long...but, hey...I guess if you want it back, I could always change mine. Of course, your name is pretty cool, too. Maybe a trade? :)
Well, I've been thinking that the Terminators could kick some Borg ass, but I'll definitely settle for a LOTR crossover instead.

The mind boggles.
Do they take foreign money? I can shell out 100,000 dinars. Cash.
I'll chip in...
Dinars? But I'm still having lunches.

"Terminator Babies," entirely performed by adorable felt puppets, all of whom speak with thick Austrian accents.

Guy can dream...
Singing Terminator bunnies riding Terminator horses!!!
I dunno - I found this article in the Wall Street Journal's "Bankrupty Beat" blog. O.o This a'frighted me with the financial horrors.

On the other hand, the Jossir is indeed a very important Mogul ; >, maybe he swiped one of the Mogul pencils from the WGA strike, which I've heard confer Magical Mogulian Powers. (I took one, too, but for me it hasn't kicked in yet.)

He will be bidding up against some very big financial players, but he is the man that transmuted Horribility into gold, so maybe he can morph this franchise back into something cool and profitable.

I will kick in four of my finest U.S. dollars, two euros I found yesterday in an old purse, and one lovely old British pound.

So - my dinar... is at eight.

(Ooooog - sorry about that. - it doesn't even really work, but something evil in me made me try.)
QuoterGal, speaking of magical mogul pencils, have any of you guys gotten your pencils yet? I ordered 5 boxes of those Dollhouse pencils and it seems like its taking forever to get them...
Joss IS the Terminator.
alexreager: QuoterGal, speaking of magical mogul pencils, have any of you guys gotten your pencils yet? I ordered 5 boxes of those Dollhouse pencils and it seems like its taking forever to get them...

They went to a far, far better place than they had ever known. (Except the one that went into my pocket. I couldnae help myself. *hangs head*)

Well, several places. The moguls refused 'em, but I believe - without any hard evidence - that the grade schools did not.

Most of my pencils were for cancelled TV masterpieces, so I figured they went to whatever black hole the shows went to.

Oh man, the possibilities...
Maybe we could have the burden of being the savior of humanity as a methaphor for Teen angst... (since teenage John Connor is now in the future...)
Or the Terminator could try to make up for his people-killing past by saving the world again and again.
Or use Vera as a build-in-gun in a Terminator, which of course has to be played by Adam Baldwin.
Or Robert Patrick and Arnie could sing "Killing me softly"...
Or we could slay a dragon...
Only Joss could write a letter about The Terrminator, Lord Of The Rings, Christian Bale, Summer Glau and porn without it coming across as completely contrived to be that way. I'll throw in a buck-thirty six if you make THAT musical, Joss!
I have erm... 2 pence, an empty can of Relentless, and some hand lotion.

See, I'm all ready for Porninator Jossness.
How can one person contain so much awesome?

I know, iluvmusicals, I sometimes surprise myself too. It's hard work, being so awesome, but at the end of the day, I get the job done. It's a gift, really.

(We were talking about me, right? Hmm. I'm being silly, of course we were. Obviously.)
I think a programming glitch that made all the terminators sing while killing would be awesome!

I agree that it is one idea that has not been done, and I think Joss could pull it off. Can Summer sing? Not that it really matters she could have a dancing glitch. OMG new idea! All the terminators have a dancing glitch! Who needs another musical, we need dance!
Now Nikki Finke has posted Joss' letter - in its entirety - on her blog.

Though oddly, not my comment on her original post linking to his post - though comments posted after mine are up. Probably just a little sloppiness?
Or Skynet has already started to "correct" the timeline. But with jazz hands.

"Terminator The Musical: The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Future Cyborgs of Doom !". This must happen. I'm willing to chip in practically no money (i.e. in practice, no money) and not only that, i'm willing to do it infinity times which, as any accountant can tell you, is infinity more times than anyone else, ever. Plus one. That's gotta be worth a "Special Thanks" nod at least ?

Yay, in your face slightly shitty day at work. Purple can drive the blues away, it's like a law of colour. Factically true.
This really made my day! I, too, would love to see a Joss-helmed Terminator movie/musical/tv/internet/thingy!

Joss's wit and humor always makes me feel so warm and shiny inside! :)
I'm with you on the Terminator Breyer Horses, ShadowQuest. I can up the ante of your Percheron by one Morgan and a Breyer stable with fencing for a paddock. Morgans may be small, but they're surprisingly agile and versatile. Like Summer. But with less weapons-class skills, (until modified into slightly battle-damaged Terminator Horses). I also have a lovely Breyer Saddlebred. Probably wouldn't be good for much, unless you needed some "pretty" to distract someone.
What if Terminator was a prequel to Firefly?
Right then - Joss, if I win the Euro millions next week (I suspect it will be about £100million by that point), I will TOTALLY buy the rights for you as a pressie.

Oddly, I'm only half joking and I'm slightly scaring myself with that comment!
Since this is a public forum, we will hold you to that bubblecat!

Saje that was funny.

simon that was a little scary. And cool.
Fox executives, please recommission Dollhouse, Joss Whedon clearly has too much time on his hands.
Simon, that actually makes a lot of sense, for something that hadn't occurred to me at all. I had thought of Dollhouse being the apocalyptic event that would drive man from Earth, but that was just an excuse to have Dollhouse become Firefly in season four. However, since it totally looked like Serenity was in the new Terminator movie, (judging from the preview, which was all I ever saw,) yours is much better.
simon that was a little scary. And cool.

Skynet takes over, nukes everything blahblah human resistance forms blahblah John Connor, Arnie, blahblah humans eventually win but Earth got used up and those remaining went to the stars. And conventiently forget about the past. Also the hands of blue are T-1000s trapped in that form.

This is why I don't write fanfic.
Wow. Nice of Nikki Finke to inflate her own blog's page views by reposting Joss's letter on her blog in its entirety without so much as a link to the original post here.
Alex - I'm so fickle, a couple of days ago it was Serenity 2. If I keep on like this, I'll have approx. £5.20 left if I have to pay for everything!

On the upside, I will become geek-queen-master of the Interbrain-web, without being anywhere near as cool and talented as Ms Day.
Yeah, I agree, BrewBunny. Honestly. Apparently in Hollywood you're only as good as your last... internet heist.


I've decided to up the amount I'll kick in for this to $25USD and 50 dinars. (Should I convert using Algerian, Bahraini, Jordanian, Kuwaiti, Libyan, Serbian, Sudanese, Tunisian, or Yugoslav dinars? Did I leave anyone out?) Oh, and a small handful of zlotys.

It's for art and it's deductible. Wait, isn't it?

ETF: typo

[ edited by QuoterGal on 2009-11-03 06:50 ]
Unbelievable! Someone should acquaint Ms. Finke with the concept of copyright. (Not in a threatening way...but geez.)
trainerr Well, the obvious first choices would be the Fighting Stallion and the Semi-rearing Mustang. (Which...I just happen to have body-condition mustang...)

But, seriously, think of it - a cyborg horse would never tire. You wouldn't have to reshoe it. Or even really worry about feeding it. It could carry literal tons. And if it stepped on your enemy...well...there'd be mush.

So...the evil Terminators would ride the meaner breeds, while the good Terminators would ride the Saddlebreds and Morgans. And there has to be an Andalusian. Just has to be.

But...The Battle for Middle Earth would take on a whole new meaning with a Terminator or two in the mix. "They have a T-100."

Sam swings his frying pan - CLANG! Stares at the giant face-shaped dent in his pan, then at the exposed metal endo-skeleton of his enemy...drops the frying pan and runs...smack into Arnethor, who shoves him out of the way and rips the head off the nearest orc with his bare hands.
Look at what's popular at the moment. Dan Brown and Twilight.

Therefore I propose this. A terminator is sent back in time with a deadly new virus to eradicate someone important (let's say Connor) but due to a malfunction, he overshoots by 2,000 years.

Due to his super-strength and lightning fast speed as well as a deep understanding of partical physics, the terminator is mistaken for the Messiah. Therefore he becomes Jesus, leaving the original human Jesus to live an immortal life. A fact covered up by the mysterious Skynet who wish to use his immortal status to finally win the war against humanity.

Unfortunately, Jesus meets a pretty lady, and starts 'shifting' into her room at night... healing her ills, nullifying her period pains. The girl mistakes stalking for true love and vows to love him more than hairspray. Then however, she starts aging, while Jesus never grows up and there's a moment of romantic poignancy as the stalker and stalker endure the ravages of age. Jesus decides to tie baloons onto his torture stake which flies him away to a magic land... where he bumps into the terminator again. Who has rebooted after 3.5 days of being offline with no memory of himself.

Jesus teaches the Terminator to love, but then updates him to Windows 7. It all goes horribly wrong: blue screen of death and the T nukes the entire world... realising as the sun implodes that Terminators can be identified by the fact that they sparkle in bright light.

Love me some joss post on a crappy Monday.
Can't be arsed to read the many posts above. But I'm thinkin' maybe... Terminator in the Woods, Dr. Terminator's Musical Blog, Terminator with Fangs, John Connor the Vampire Slayer... am I close to being the next show-runner?
Something tells me it's gonna take more than 10000 to get the rights to Terminator but by all means, good luck to you Joss.
Dear Joss,
I just wanted to say that ,even though you not reading this, you brighten my day. Please direct/write for/act in/produce/kill the Terminator/LotR franchise. It will be awesome. Plus, I'm offering a shiny nickel.
That Girl You Met After the PaleyFest Dr. Horrible Thing While You Were Eating Your Cheeseburger and Despretely Wanted to Go Away.
*steals shiny nickel, puts it under his foot, and sings Moll's song*

*makes obscure musical reference*
DO IT! We need a real Terminator reboot!
I'll pitch in 20!

Rossum = Skynet, the dolls are their beta test.
Terminator: Server Girl, a post-apocalyptic ballet.
Aidan W. : "torture stake"? hmmmmmmm....

ShadowQuest; Not completley original, but predominately; Rifts (TM) had/has the Cyber-horsemen of Ixion, high-tech cnetaurs from another dimension who often replace their legs and some of the toher horsey parts with bionics. But rarely touch their huamn aprts ina nay way, so no bionic eyes,e tc.

If nothing else, this makes a good floor bid. Not to be confused with dogs,c ats and other floor pets.
Can we sneak this into the trades?

Salvation was a really sad move, going all Transformer-Bay-ish in this franchise was definitely not the right move.

C'mon owners, it's chance to actually milk in into something from this. Hear our plea.
More than happy to chip in $80 (Australian). With Joss at the helm, it stands a chance of having less Angsty Christian Bale (yay!)
More glau-bots, or Tam-inators, would be nice. They could send a million back in time to personally mate with and then kill all the men of the world. But on the serious side of things:

I don't care who buys the rights, just so long as they hire back McG and the crew that is planning Terminator: Salvation sequel. The worst that could happen would be if some studio buys the rights and doesn't let McG resume his trilogy. Salvation was not widely seen in the US, but it did good worldwide, and fans are eager for the second part.
Joss needs to re-do Logan's Run. Now that, I'll pitch in money for.
i'll throw ya a $20 joss! and if you can bring back any references to beastwizard in the future of the franchise, i'd be very happy :D
@Numfar - Did you see the movie? Terminator: Salvation was not Transformer-y. Inspirations appeared to be Resident Evil, Mad Max, and the Terminator series.

Instead of retreading the "machine chases after hero" concept, Terminator:Salvation was a war story, and a good one -- all the themes of typical war stories are here: heroes crossing enemy lines, questions of loyalties and identity, romance, sacrifice... If Bogart could have been in any Terminator movie, he would have been in Termainator:Salvation.
(We were talking about me, right? Hmm. I'm being silly, of course we were. Obviously.)

Well, of course, GVH! This website is devoted to you, after all. ;)
But GVHesque sounds like coughing up a hairball in Yiddish.
YES! Terminator + Joss = Happiness
Skynet is really Sauron, and the Governator makes a cameo as a Nazgul? I'm in.

[ edited by Rossaroni on 2009-11-03 03:48 ]
eyes of the world said: Unbelievable! Someone should acquaint Ms. Finke with the concept of copyright. (Not in a threatening way...but geez.)

It looks like all the news articles are crediting Nikki Finke with the "scoop" of Joss' open letter. A scoop originally posted on this website and then posted to her own blog by QuoterGal in a comment which doesn't seem to exist anymore. Talk about skeevy "journalism." And in a world where page views = potential revenue, some would call it outright theft.

[ edited by BrewBunny on 2009-11-03 04:06 ]
I was only a casual viewer of "Terminator," but if Joss was involved, I would be right there, front and center for it!
io9, however, when alerted to the fact, changed their link to here. A lot of sites simply first saw it at Finke's site, and since she didn't credit the source, few of the other sites realized. (It's not, of course, the first time Finke has done this.)

[ edited by The One True b!X on 2009-11-03 04:01 ]
That's good to see, b!X. Has she ripped off other material from here or do you mean other sites generally? The only reason I actually know anything of Nikki Fink at all is because the folks at frequently take shots at her "journalism." Hopefully they will seize this opportunity for a well-deserved public shaming for shamelessly ripping off page views from a little fansite.
I'd rather see Joss write Firefly comics than another Terminator sequel. I'd rather see Joss write Archie comics than another Terminator sequel. How cool would a Whedon penned Archie be?!
Come the millennium, Joss will have what the Latins call primo assero* to reboot any franchise. Or robots will kill us all. The prophecy's a little vague.

*"First dibs."
Forget about Terminator, buy Survivors (that's with an S, not the singular one which is just not for me at all).
Will.Bueche. - Thing is, T:S wasn't all that good. It was too unfocused. It should have stuck with solely with the Marcus story, with the events of T:S told entirely from his perspective. John Connor should have been a minor character, first heard over the radio and not seen until Marcus is being crucified. It would have been a much more intersting character study then being force fed the rather lame John Connor story.
I agree with that -- the John Connor part of the story was not worth the cost of Bale's paycheck. But the rest of the film was good.
Now I know why I was feeling pekid and maybe coming down with H1N1 last week! I haven't seen a bloody Joss post here in so long. Well Joss, if I can believe a little boy made of wood can become a real boy, I believe you can buy The Terminator franchise for 10,000 crisp George Washington's. I also believe you'd do something wonderful with it. Are you listening world?! ... {{{{crickets}}}}. Blast.
Awesome, Joss you are the man. And I know this is not serious, but damn would I love to see a Terminator with you involved. And more Summer... always good!
Joss clarified some of his remarks to EW saying: "“What do you mean, funny?! You think $10,000 is funny?!”
Going on to say:
“Here’s the thing: It’s not a slam on The Terminator. I love The Terminator. That part’s totally true. I was thinking to myself, ‘Not since they auctioned off frames from The Little Mermaid have I wished I had more money this much. So you know what, never hurts to ask.’ I loved the movies, even the later movies. I loved the mythology. I loved the TV show [The Sarah Connor Chronicles]–like, really loved. Not for pretend. And not just because of [star] Summer [Glau].
“But mostly, it’s just me being a dumb-ass, because that seems to be what I do best — I’m not even very good at that. So, no, I do not think they’re going to call me and say ‘Congratulations! We’ll have that $10,000 now.’ Although, it would be non-exclusive. Other people could make Terminator movies and TV shows too. I’m just putting that out there in case you publish this.
“But I adore the franchise. I literally did learn a huge amount from that [franchise]. [The Terminator] came out when I was in college, and I was like, This is how you construct a story. It’s very important to me. That part was true. The part where I think I’m going to get it, not so true. And certain ideas, like [bidding for] The Lord of the Rings and the Batman franchise, also possibly not true. If they will give them to me for $10,000, I absolutely would write a check. That’s true. They just didn’t say those [properties] were for sale. They said they were on back-order, is what I understand. It’s all ridiculous, but it comes from love.”

I would still love to see the Terminator/LotR/Batman crossover! I would pay good money to see that.
Too easy. It's obvious that Terminator of the Rings needs to be written as an opera, and debuted in Bayreuth.
Oh Joss, how I've missed these witty, irreverent posts of yours.
Thanks for bringing the W-hacky back to the W-hedonesque. I the only one a teensy bit bothered that Our Collective Deity of Jossness just misspelled "Boromir?" My geek obsessions are grappling mightily...

[ edited by HairyLime on 2009-11-03 08:42 ]
Musical Terminator Shadow Puppets from Caprica.

I'm just saying.
Expanding on ideas:
I think the future rests on the reveal that Pandas are actually all sleeper-Terminators that haven't been "woken up" yet. That'd be delightfully unexpected, and fit right in with a Terminator musical.
Hairy Lime I am more worried about the misspelling of what I think was supposed to be voila.

Try it, making reference to a bowed string instrument OR a genus of flowering plants does not serve as an appropriate response for the 'liberation' of the Terminator franchise.
We are all very sick.
I would actually pay to see a Musical Terminator.

Also quick question from a newb who understands she is probably going to look like a complete idiot for asking a question that probably has a very obvious answer do you start a post on the main page??
You begin, as with all journeys (even of a thousand miles) with but a single step - the 'About' page provides a wealth of information ;).

Try it, making reference to a bowed string instrument OR a genus of flowering plants does not serve as an appropriate response for the 'liberation' of the Terminator franchise.

Aside from just being a big kid on (one which i've engaged in myself, it being a temptation no mortal can resist - or no mortal with no standards anyway ;), it totally works in the context of a musical rescue of the Terminator "franchise".
Newcomers will be given posting rights to the front page a few days after joining.
And there's that too. You and your facts Simon, it's like an obsession.
Terminator under Joss' reign? I'll chip in for that. Let's see: I can afford $90AUD ($80.44US). Will that help?

If Joss had done the LotR films, I'm sure I would've liked them more... Well, I'm sure he'd be easier to forgive. ;)
I have 147 Thai Bhats, 200 Vatu's and a Canadian dime to pitch in. I think that should give me at least a little creative control. Which I would gladly cede to out Jossir, if he would just bring Terminator back as a TV series with the same cast, but much less emphasis on Sarah (which I think the series finale kinda set up, anyhow).

Who needs a two or three hour movie when we could have a three or four year series, complete with all the good stuff Joss brings to long-arc stories.

And there has to be a Dollhouse tie-in there (E1 time frame - Topher redeems himself by bringing down Skynet?)
Maybe it was being on the road ten hours yesterday that fuzzied my brain, but did I completely miss Kiba's enspousing? Congratulations, Kiba!

And if I misread your post and your spousehood has long since left newbie-dom, then I'll delete the above and pretend all I said was:

Don't call it a reboot. It's a roboot.
Well, of course, GVH! This website is devoted to you, after all. ;)

Wait... are you saying everyone here isn't doing this for the sole reason of my amusement, iluvmusicals? I've never been able to check, but I'm assuming this place stops existing as soon as I log off.

But GVHesque sounds like coughing up a hairball in Yiddish.

See, that could be its slogan!


[ edited by GVH on 2009-11-03 14:00 ]
"3) Can you say... musical?"

When I look up close
I see that your clothes
Would fit me very well
I'm standing outside
I'm freezing my hide
In fact, it's cold as hell
I traveled here through time
To kill, protect and rhyme
But if I don't get some pants
Everyone will see my schwanz

I need your
Clothes, your boots and motorcycle x2

If you want to live,
Then once I stopped shiv-
Ering I would suggest
That you hand me the keys
To your Harley, and please
Some cash to fuel it, yes?
I cannot hail a cab
With muscles grown in lab
And if I have to walk
They'll outline John with chalk

I need your
Clothes, your boots and motorcycle x2

Have pity on a lonesome terminator
My brother was sent back in time to -
Exterminate her
Now I must save John Connor, Sarah too
To stop the world from ending, yes, that
Would save you too!

I need your
Clothes, your boots and motorcycle x4

...And your shaaaaaaaaaades!

Good lyrics, there. I think I still might giggle if a humorless cyborg were singing them, though Joss can direct anything. Still, they made an opera out of The Fly, of which I saw and heard an excerpt online and was totally nonplussed, even being an opera buff. Some things weren't meant to be musicals.
Yep. Argument over. beergood has proven this musical thing could work ;).
ShadowQuest: In strong agreement on the need for a semi-rearing Mustang Terminator (preferably the pinto one, as it would have increased stealth abilities). Shall we call your splendid Breyer Horse/Terminator hybrid idea "Terminatorses"?

For the good Terminators, I have a Breyer Paso Fino, whose smooth gait would be soothing to an injured or battle-weary T. I have no Andalusians, but can gladly offer up a Lipizzan Stallion. My Warmblood Stallion is a bit temperamental, so he should likely go to the evil Terminators.

If we were to combine Terminator with Battle for Middle Earth, we must get our hands on a Friesian & other Destrier types.

The limitless energy & lack of need to feed these Terminatorses could be a very strong selling point for Joss.

[ edited by Caroline on 2009-11-03 17:10 ]
Bravo, beergood!
Trainerr, no need to sign your posts, thanks.
Yep, that's pretty fantastic beergood, nice one ;).
Come with me if you want to sing.
So ... Terminator, The Musical, is about a cyborg who goes back in time to kill Sarah Connor because she has the worst singing voice in the world, and singing even one note will destroy the world and disrupt the time/space continuum?? At least, the machines think so. Her voice is deadlier than Florence Foster Jenkins? Heavy.
That was excellent, beergood.
My hero said Norway! Woot! (Of course, I had to look up "Song of Norway," because I'd never heard of it, but still...)
Caroline, sorry about the sig. Habit from other sites, & I may well do again when I've forgotten 6 months from now. Epic fail :-P
See, that could be its slogan!

There should be a t-shirt, GVH! It can have a picture of an elderly cat in a yarmulke, choking on a hairball next to the quote.
HarryLime/MissB - maybe it's a generational thing...intentionally using "viola" (exaggerated as veeeeohla) for "voila" - not unusual among people I know, but now that I think of it, don't know where it originated.
So, now the story is up on CNN. Properly attributed to Whedonesque.

Beergood You are quoted in the story as "one fan".
This CNN article does quote Beergood, but sadly not the TtM song lyrics which would be awesome.
... intentionally using "viola" (exaggerated as veeeeohla) for "voila" - not unusual among people I know, but now that I think of it, don't know where it originated.

I think it may have originated in them only being a single transposition apart ;).

OK, to totally overanalyse a simple joke, I don't know where it originated (if there even is a single origin) but there're a couple of reasons it crops up I reckon, both related to those linchpins of humour, embarrassment and incongruity. The use of French in English is maybe seen as slightly pretentious, especially French which you have to pronounce in the French way - unlike e.g. Paris - so this "deliberate mistake" defuses that potential embarrassment through a kind of knowing self-deprecation. And since, as missb mentions, 'viola' almost never makes sense in the same place you'd use 'voila' but looks similar enough to fool you initially you also have that nice incongruity you get from something fitting (or nearly fitting) where it shouldn't, as with puns.

There you go, bits of clock everywhere and not a tick to be heard ;).

[ edited by Saje on 2009-11-03 22:44 ]
beergood doth rhymegood - I meant to say this earlier, but I forgotted on accounta work and other such stuff.

I'm particularly fond of:

Then once I stopped shiv-
Ering I would suggest

You hast made the lyrical pome - or the pomeifical lyric.
Love it!
And you know what, screw the haters. I mean, what I take from this (other than giggles) is Joss takes the time to write stuff just (if nothing more than) to amuse his (incredibly loyal) fans. That's great, if you think about it. What other writer/director/producers do that on a semi-regular/kinda-sporadic basis? Bam said the lady.

ETA: I had to finish my thought. Accidentally posted before I was ready.

[ edited by Linnea1928 on 2009-11-04 00:28 ]
It amuses me how much attention Joss can sometimes get, especially when news sites try to seriously analyze his silliness.
Well, at least he didn't spell it "wah-lah!" as so many people do.

trainerr So...umm...are you offering to sacrifice your models for me to make prototype cybernized equines? (Cyberquines?) 'cause...that'd be cool.

I can paint them any color once I finish resculpting them - I don't have to chop up GaWaNi Pony Boy's Kola. (And, like I said, I happen to have a body here that I could experiment on.)

Oh, and I LOVE that picture you linked to! I really should drop a few hints to Kathleen Moody, see if I can get her to produce a rearing Friesian. I'll have to send her that picture as inspiration. (That's where her adorable draft filly Andrea came from - I sent her some pictures, and she was so inspired she sculpted the resin.)

I'm slightly battle damaged horse, like with part of its facial endoskeleton showing (Red eye!) and maybe a full leg, and one full endoskelton. Which...would mean I need to study horse anatomy. Oh, drat.
Soooo. This is on CNN now. This is getting more and more silly all the time :).

And also, on a more megalomaniacal, self-aggrandizing note:

There should be a t-shirt, GVH! It can have a picture of an elderly cat in a yarmulke, choking on a hairball next to the quote.

Okay: let's be honest. This is... a brilliant idea! Kudos, iluvmusicals. I mean who wouldn't buy that shirt? I wouldn't be surprised if that shirt made coffee, brought me my morning slippers and created world peace simply by existing. So I'll appoint you as head of GVHesque's PR right now, iluvmusicals , no questions asked ;)

Am I beating this joke to pulpy oblivion by now? I probably am, right? ;)
Well, it's on now. Lots of things end up on that are never actually on the actual CNN. ;)

Am I beating this joke to pulpy oblivion by now? I probably am, right? ;)

If I can have False b!X buttons and t-shirts, surely you can have all the GVHesque you want.
Pointy, I got enspouseled in July but I forgot to tell certain segments of the internet.

Like this one.

(My original proposed wedding date was June 23, but it was important that I not miss Can't Stop the Serenity...)
(My original proposed wedding date was June 23, but it was important that I not miss Can't Stop the Serenity...)

As it should be.
Your weddification brings joy across the fabric of space/time, Kiba!
Silly, silly people... Everyone KNOWS that Joss has set the stage for a major Angel/Firefly/Aliens crossover (note the Weyland/Yutani {not 100% on that spelling} logos popping up every now and then? This whole Terminator thing is a bluff, just you wait)...

... Yeah, they laughed at Eddison, but when Angel catches Mal transporting what turns out to be Alien eggs, after a quick team up and major assault on Miranda's underground complexes resulting in a final showdown between River and the Alien/Reaver-hybrid Empress, who'll be laughing then?
I just wet myself in a major way.
I think Terminator needs to rest for awhile. I would rather see Joss give new life to the Louisa May Alcott franchise -- there are spunky women, and major characters die; it just needs a little humor.
GVH, I am very tempted to beg my far-more-artistic-than-I roommate to design this shirt...of course, I couldn't get her to draw a version of the Giles/Willow showdown in which Willow was a kangaroo and Giles was a monkey in fishnets, so she may not be too receptive to this idea either. (That one's a very long story.)

And if you're beating this joke to pulpy oblivion, who cares? I'm still entertained!
Silly Goose, I'll be the one laughing when Joss announces Alien Vs Not-So Predatorial Vampire and Serenity.

Unless you lost control of your bodily functions from other hilarious things said on this page. I guess I just jumped to conclusions...
The BBC chimes in. (It's not Joss' website, darlings, and he can't buy it off of me for 10,000 either.)
HAHA! This is why I'm a Whedonite :)
You know, Joss, I've got no money, but would be happy to donate a cunning hat.
Joss, if I won the Powerball in a few days, I'd gladly buy the rights from Halycon and give them to you.

No kidding. I'll even gift-wrap it and bring it to you in person.
I particularly like the idea of a Terminator Ballet. make Summer the lead! How aboout telling Skynet's point of view?

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