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Whedonesque - a community weblog about Joss Whedon
"They swear there was a memo."
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July 02 2010

Now more than ever - Whedonesque needs your quotes. The linked page contains all the quotes that appear on the top right of all the pages at Whedonesque. What other great quotes from Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Serenity, Dollhouse, Dr Horrible, Commentary! The Musical, Runaways, Fray, Sugarshock and Astonishing X-Men would you like to see appear there?

"Disappointed, Miss Frost?" "Astonished, Miss Pryde." (From Giant Sized Astonishing X-Men #1 by Joss Whedon and John Cassaday. AKA best comic ever.)
"Don’t plan the plan if you can’t follow through" Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible.
"I don't dance." -Angel (Angel)

"Songs can hurt like a fist." -Neil (Commentary!)

"Need anything dampened or... made soggy?" -Moist (Dr. Horrible)
-Let's be bad guys!
-We're all just floating. (Not sure why I love that one so much. I just do.)
-Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion....'Cuz you're pretty.
-This is not the hammer.
-You could be a rainbow and not a PAINbow!
-Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well...I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired. From a fry cook opportunity.
-You are recently gay!
-As long as you two stay away from the band candy, I'm cool with anything.
-I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.
-We may experience some slight turbulence and then...explode.
-Joyce: Have we met? Spike: Uh, you hit me with an axe one time. Remember, uh, "Get the hell away from my daughter!"
-You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here.
"Kaylee, we all know I'm the funny one." -Wash (Firefly).
"A doodle. I do doodle. You too! You do doodle too!" - Willow

"I'm building a paperclip Eiffel tower." - Topher

"Porn!" - Echo

"I am obsolete. This must be what old people feel like. And Blockbuster." - Topher

"It's only natural you'd be so... elmo." - Echo

"No weapon forged can defeat me! ...What's that do?" - The Judge

"I've seen one. Well, my watcher once showed me a photograph of one. ...A blurry photograph." - Vi
- Self esteem is for everybody Self esteem is for everyone
• No, honey. I AM the magicks.
• You're always saving everyone. It's kind of pesky.
• The Slayer thing really isn't about the violence… It's about the power.
• It's about power. Who's got it. Who knows how to use it. So... Who's got the power, Dawn?
• Cordelia, your mouth is open, sound is coming from it. This is never good.
• Power. I have it. They don't. This bothers them…
• Mission is what matters.
• Needs should definitely be met, as long as it doesn't require ointments the next day.
- GILES: "We few...we happy few..."
SPIKE: "We band of buggered..."

- I'm still not hearing enough ideas, she's a god, let's think *outside* the box!

- Smart chicks are so hot.

- Now might be a good time for something heroic.

- I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear.

- Man. Atonement's a bitch.

- *Someone* put a *stake* through that woman's heart if she persists in popping her bloody chewing gum!

- Oh, I swear. Next time Angel decides to blow something up he's cleaning his own scorch marks.

- Hold it. Nobody kill anybody. Please?

Oh dear. There is hardly a page of script without something eminently quotable!
*It's a myth that it's a myth.
*So was that a conversation we actually had or one I was just practicing?
*There is no way to Buffy.
*Don't worry. If I kiss you, it'll make the sun go down.
*Okay, yes, I have been known to do a little prep work before our conversations.
*Carefull, Buffy. Just when you think it's a part of the lesson, he'll hurt your arm.
*That's hot.
*Because the government gave him a soul?
*Please, my boyfriend had a bicentennial.
*Why does everybody in this house think I'm still in love with Spike?
*So, he has a trigger, a soul, and a chip?
*If you say “adorabubble,” I’m leaving.
*The neuromod is your BFF.
*I make a cheerleader, they make a cheerleader that shoots people, or an assassin that does cheers.
*You know what, don't answer the phone.
*"Best of seven?" "Eleven."

[ edited by tjbw on 2010-07-03 06:25 ]
'See, get it? That's the point Joss. It's compelling! What's going to happen to these kids??'

"Well that's really funny if someone doesn't have a vestigial tail!"

'Don't ask why a ninja can survive in outer space.'

'I begged and I pleaded, please don't pass me by. They said,hey can you give us a hand, go and stand in the back with that fat guy.'

Or, you know, the entirety of Commentary!
"Well you were myth-taken."

"Nobody deserves 'Mime,' Buffy."

"Damn, I never knew you were that cool."
"Well, you always were a little slow."
"I get that now."

"No, son, you murdered yourself. I just carried the bullet a while."

"You're not right, Early. Not righteous. Got issues."

"Where are the better rooms?"

[ edited by pat32082 on 2010-07-02 11:22 ]

[ edited by pat32082 on 2010-07-02 11:23 ]
- Good, good. I haven't had quite enough jealous vampire crap for one night.
- You could never hope to grasp the source of our power.
- Even when he's good he's all Mr. Billow Coat and King of Pain.
- What is this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask! Is this a date?
- I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up. Come on, let's gay.
- You're not special. You're extraordinary.
- Timothy Dalton should win an Oscar and beat Sean Connery over the head with it!

- I know what I know.
-To hell with this... I'm gonna live! (Kaylee, Serenity)
-Shhh! Hospital zone. No singing. (Buffy, Killed By Death)
-I love you. I don't know if I trust you. (Buffy, Lie to Me)
-Please, Wesley. Why can't I stay? (Fred, A Hole in the World)
-There's a hole in the world. Feels like we ought to have known. (Spike, A Hole in the World)
A couple from Oz:

I'd still, I'd very still.
This make the kind of sense that ... not.
"Woah Summers you drive like a spaz!"
I'm not cheap, I'm just old. -Angel
Angel's going to sing? There has to be another way! Think damnit!-Cordy
Life could come out of our love and our smooshing, and that's beautiful. - Anya
Well he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as you know, disembowel children. -Anya
Puffy Xander! -Buffy
I'm here to Angel about something... important... your hair! -Wesley
I have finesse coming out of my BOTTOM! -Anya
You wouldn't like me when I'm happy. -Angel

[ edited by BlueSkies on 2010-07-02 12:10 ]

I'll think of more quotes later.

[ edited by Shep on 2010-07-02 12:19 ]
You know, next to you, I am downright linear. -Cordelia, to Fred

[ edited by MissKittysMom on 2010-07-02 12:35 ]
I'm the tin man, she's the lion, and you're the head of the lollipop guild who's a traitor!
- I didn’t jump. I took a tiny step and there conclusions were.
- Morbid much?

[ edited by Djungelurban on 2010-07-02 13:38 ]
That's impressively thorough, Simon.

"Did I miss anything?" "Just the vodka, thank God" Adelle

"Is everyone here very stoned?" Spike

"Death is your gift" First Slayer

"I think I was in heaven" Buffy

"Everything here is hard, and bright, and violent .... this is hell" Buffy

[ edited by Shey on 2010-07-02 13:52 ]
Bored now.
Darn your sinister attraction!
Should I start this program over?
Beer, foamy.
I fight with weapons!
Death is my gift.
The who whatting how with huh?
*Actual Size
That's right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job.
We knocked 'em deader.
"Giles, do you have a Jonathan Swimsuit Calendar?" "No. Yes. It was a gift."
Pretty darn lickable.
Because it's wrong.
Vampire's are a paradox.
What's a stevedore?
What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad.
What's a slayer?
You got any of those little marshmallows?
"Well, she sounds very unreasonable." "She is! She's out of her mind! That's what I miss most about her..."
Harmony has minions?
Nobody's calling you a viking.
The world is a mess and I just need to RULE it.
A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do
You're driving a spork into your leg.
I have a P.H.D. in horribleness.
The thouroghbred of sin?
Captain Hammer threw a car at my head.

You all got on this boat for different reasons, but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all.

And Joss is ungluing when I mention pooing, which I'm always doing. I mean mentioning pooing.

So, Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.

[ edited by AlanD on 2010-07-02 14:14 ]
-"Let's not talk to Joss." "He's sad and confusing."

-"Wipe off that smile, the style is bile, and rage is all the rage."

-"There's internal rhyme, although not every instance. And the meter is occasionally a little bit bizarre."

-"But I like it plenty. I gave Joss a twenty and got back a dream and two fives."

-"Suck it; I gave him fifteen!"

-"That's, like, breaking the ninth wall."

-"My wonderful me-ness, my hammer the - people can tell that I'm awefully swell."

-"Songs can hurt like a fist."

-"I have dozens of loyal fans! Baker's dozens! ... They come in thirteens."

-"I didn't know that there'd be songs; that sh*t makes me sick. My brother said it's 'bout a guy who kills some chick."

-"Weren't you the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz or something?" "Yeah, but I played the f*ck out of that part."

-"Oh sure, I have the power to make paste from a powder, but last time I did that no one rejoiced."

-"Nobody wants to be moist!"

-"Simple in its gameplay and yet epic in its scope."

-"I'm gonna go in the corner and play my violin and ... math!"

-"Why paint a bison if it's dead? When did you choose the color red?"

-"He didn't say, "Here's what it means"
And "Here's a few deleted scenes"
"Charybdis tested well with teens""

-"I sang some things I didn't mean."

-"Like zombies clawin' for his brains or anything that info-tains."

-"Hey, Felicia, you were great kid, but you just had to die 'cause there's no team in I."

-"My name is Neil and I'm here to say waka-chika-po-waka-pooh-pfft."

-"And seeing it through makes each of you a huge f*cking nerd!"

-"I knew it's not this lisp it's been my talents all along."

ETA: "Hamnu?" -Buffy-

[ edited by Xantastic1316 on 2010-07-02 14:29 ]
"You're gonna get married and have scowly babies." - Topher
"Maybe because of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus don't unnerve me the way they used to."

"She didn't even touch her pumpkin! It's a freak with no face."
I keep a (self-made) Buffy quote list handy (though I chose these from it just for this project)...

Angel, how do you shave?

That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?

Ours is a forbidden love.

I resent that! Or possibly thank you.


I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?

Three excellent questions.

Ugh! Spike lips! Lips of Spike!

Yes, he's clearly a bad influence on himself.

Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?

Xander, she's pretending to be me!

Willow's a demon?!

My hat has a cow.

No, really.

It has a purifying power, a cleansing power...possibly Scrubbing Bubbles.

I was so hoping you'd do that.

You can't just define me by my Slayerness. That's...somethingism.

Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also, there's a really big snake!

He probably sat in math class thinking, There should be more math. This could be mathier.

'cause with the ziti!

What the hell is that, and why is its hair that color?

Action is his reward.

I lurk.

Your definition of narrow is impressively wide.

That P.J.; he's getting to be quite a handful.

Good job, Larry. You've really mastered the single entendre.

I mean, have you tried not being a slayer?

He has to undo this. Then he needs a good being-killed.

I, I love what you've, um, neglected to do with the place.

Lot of people never really got Dru, you know.

We're your

Shoplifters will be transfigured.

I'll draw up the paperwork.

You'll have to dress for the ambiguity.

Oh, Principal Wood, she'll gasp, I love your lack of wicked energy...


No it was not! Well yes it was so.

Well, it's so shiny.

I just know this whole year is gonna be super fun!

Our lives are different from other people's.

We've got company! And they brought a crusade.

He'd find himself in a second. Nobody's cooler in a crisis.

Oh, man...Just ascend already...

Check check. Check check. Check. Check.

Oh, I hate my free will.

You are strange and off-putting. Go now.

Even I know that was insensitive.

We will bring you the limp and beaten body of Bob Barker!

Oh Pacey, you blind idiot! Can't you see she doesn't love you?

This will give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of being mean to me!

You're not the brightest god in the heavens, are you?

Sorry, Angel. Changed the locks.

Are you guys having a fight? 'Cause, you know, fighting's not cool.

You'll see what I mean...

Mom?... Mom?... Mommy?

I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but he'd get it.

You're bait. Go act baity.

Maybe you should put some ice on it.

And I never really liked you anyway. And you have stupid hair!

Say! You all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?

Just gonna play with some matches, run with scissors, take candy from...some guy. I don't know his name.

I'm not a kid.

We're checking for Buffy, not a concussion.

You know, I started it. The whole having a soul. Before it was all the cool new thing.

Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

Can I have sex with Riley, too?

You do have a superiority complex, and you've got an inferiority complex about it. Kudos.

Come on. I'm badder than you.

And for the record, the arm is hurt. It's not broken.

I don't even know what to look for. Plus I can't turn the page.

Slap my hand now!

I. Owe. You. Pain.

Your shirt...

Here to help! Wanna live!

I want get out of my face.

I'd like to test that theory.


Very well. We will return...your SOUL.

Redemption is hard.

Say, do you have any weaknesses I should know about, if I'm gonna work for you? Like Kryptonite or allergies?

Ah! That was nifty.

And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy.


1981 - 2001
Sorry, my books are 100 miles away for another month and a half--but I do have a (vague) suggestion. In Fray, the conversation between Kettie Rawls and Melaka right before the epic showdown--he says "You, [something something blah blah blah]? Wouldn't miss it for a gallon of sack."

Wish I could suggest this more coherently!
I have no quotes to post here (cuz I don't remember the words). But I enthusiastically encourage more Fray, Commentary!, & Dollhouse. Please. :)
The line that really sums up Buffy for me is:

Mayor: We don't knock during dark rituals? (Buffy, S3, Graduation Day, Pt 1).

Love that mix of the prosaic and the fantastical. :D
"An internet musical is a wacky idea that's zany! Where did it come from?"
-NPH (Commentary)
"You still my girl?" "Always."
"I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think you might be!"
"Passion is the source of our finest moments."
"I have to believe in a better world."
"Bad day. Started bad, stayed bad" (not positive on that exact wording) Fray. Always adored this line.

"Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion" Wash

"Interesting: Oh god, oh god, we're all going to die" Wash

"Goin on a year now I ain't had nothin twix my nethers weren't run on batteries" Kaylee

"I'm fairly certain I said no interruptions" Buffy

"Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck"-Joss

"Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own." — Joss

Big one but a great one: "Everything is so fragile. There's so much conflict, so much keep waiting for the dust to settle and then you realize it; the dust is your life going on. If happy comes along -- that weird unbearable delight that's actual happy -- I think you have to grab it while you can. You take what you can get, 'cause it's here, and then...gone."-Kitty Pryde

Too much quotable stuff!
watching Dollhouse...

"Your skin is like a pig..." - Bennett to Topher *rotfl*
She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican serape. - Andrew

I don't buckle. Occasionally, I swashbuckle. - Topher
"We'd better make a fort." - Riley
"A watcher scoff's at gravity." - Giles
"Sometimes I think about two women doin' a spell... and then I do a spell by myself." - Xander
"Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?" - Jayne
"It's okay to leave them to die." - Simon
"She is startin' to damage my calm." Jayne
"Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket." - Mal
"I have a way? Is that better than a plan?" - Mal
Hmm. Ok.

"I could fit Oz in my shaving kit."

"How could you serve...mustard?"

"Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship?" "Seems like."

"Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playin' at, girl?"

"Remember that sex we were going to have ever again?" (I think I'm slightly off on that Zoe quote.)

"I don't wanna explode!"

"Did he just go insane and fall asleep?"

"Take care of my heart, won't you, please?"

"I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I've had."

"I'm learning about magic. It's all about energy and Gaia and root systems."

" is born...and though uninvited, unwelcome, a cancer, it takes root."

"Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes."

"Thank god we're hot chicks with superpowers."

"Can you just be kissing me now?"

"Wait. I'm evil if I take a bunch of girls into the desert on a camping trip and don't touch them?"

"Still ruggedly handsome. Grandpa, indeed."

"Oh, as usual, dear."

"Just...have at it, will you? And stop fluttering about."

"Don't stick your elbow out."

"Mist...cemetery...Halloween. This should end well. (trips, falls, gets back up) Bloody brilliant."

"Bloody hell."

"Spike, if I want your opinion, I'll...never want your opinion."

"Whoever knew Molly was so compact?"

"A bear! You made a bear!" "I didn't mean to!" "Undo it! Undo it!"

"Bloody hell, woman! You're cuttin' off my circulation!" "You don't have circulation." "Well, it pinches."

"I think my syphilis is clearin' right up." "And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it."

"If you hurt my sister, you're going to wake up on fire."

"Lobes flying everywhere."

"I can't just be...proactive with pep?"

[ edited by ShadowQuest on 2010-07-02 17:47 ]
"That's beautiful. Or, taken literally, incredibly gross." Buffy

"It's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham" Buffy

"Please god make me a stone" River

"Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" Tara
Some Dollhouse quotes:

"I know you've heard colorful rumors about what an Active is. Robots, zombie slaves... They are, of course, quite the opposite. The Active is the truest soul among us." (Unaired pilot)

"You see someone running incredibly fast. The first thing you gotta ask is 'Are they running to something or are they running from something?' The answer is always both." (Ghost)

"Are there any drugs you're not on?" (Stage Fright)

"Guess who's not qualified to be my rabbi?" (Man on the Street)

"We're pimps and killers, but in a philanthropic way." (A Spy in the House of Love)

"Eternal life." "Nice adjective, excellent noun. Is there more?" (Haunted)

"Right. New, superior people with a little German thrown in. What could possibly go wrong?" (Omega)

"An entire army in an instant, just from a phone call. That is genius! Why didn't I think of that? Did I think of that? Oh God..." (Epitaph One)

"Was I my best?" (Epitaph One)

"I know where food is. In the kitchen." (Epitaph One)

"I'm in hell." "You're in Los Angeles. I can understand the mixup." (Belonging)

(I can't remember as many season 2 quotes. Still waiting for that DVD set!)
Angel: "Wes, did you ever hear that the devil built a robot?"
Wesley: "El diablo robotico. Why?"

Buffy: " 'Cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution?
Or some type of. . . supergirl. Chosen to fight demons and save the world? That's ridiculous. "
"This is beyond my ken - and my Barbie - and all my action figures." - Lorne
Forgot this obvious Dollhouse one...
Would you like a treatment?
And an old Buffy one
"I want to learn from you." "Okay." "But I don't want to dress like you."

[ edited by BlueSkies on 2010-07-02 18:38 ]
Thanks dance4days! 8)
Mal: "Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle."
Oh yeah, favourite Joss quotes as well. I never did find out if "always be yourself, unless you suck" was actually said by him.
Didn't he say that in the little video that was recorded in which he says hello to Whedonesquers?
edited to say Ah, no that is where he tells us we are cool. ok then. I don't have any idea where or if he said it.

[ edited by Lioness on 2010-07-02 21:21 ]
okay joss quotes...
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW! -Re. Angel
The English Language is my bitch. Or I don't speak it very well. Whatever.
Let freedom ring, unless it's on vibrate.
Very occasionally, if you really pay attention, life doesn’t suck.
I'd rather have a show that a hundred people need to see than a thousand people like to see.
Every day is a negotiation, and sometimes its done with guns
Hello, I'm the writer and director. Now take your clothes off and get on top of Morena.

And I'll be back later with more from the Fray TPB!!
"It eats you, starting with your bottom."

"A bidet of evil."

"I'm undressing Scott Bakula in my mind." (I used to want to do that, too.)

"I prefer 'guestage'."

"Dawn, get the Potentials upstairs, then get out that emergency bag." "What are you going to do?" "I'm declaring an emergency."

"I was afraid that my Mandarin was a bit thin. Turns out she speaks Cantonese, which is even thinner."

"Like many people from Asia, I am lactose intolerant."

"Are the monsters from the flash cards coming?"

"Willow brought something into this house. Something new." "The microwave?"

(Upon opening Shepherd Book's box and seeing giant strawberries within) "Ohh, Grandpa!"

(Coming to in Sick Bay, surrounded by his crew) "What happened about me?"

(About why they left Jayne lying on the stairs) "He's really heavy."

To the best of my recollection, Simon, 1) I sourced that quote & a bunch of other oft-attributed ones for a Goners project and 2) I think maybe it was from an old Bronze post but 3) I don't have my research with me and 4) I'm heading out to celebrate my 19th anniversary with my tooty. ; > (Shameless pitch for congratulations... ; >)

Here are all the Joss quotes for that project.

I can provide these in a more database-friendly form once I find my notes so I can be for certain sure of them. I'm verra glad you wanted Joss-quotes, 'cause so many of of the best come directly from The Joss' Mouth. ; >

The Joss-quote I haven't been able to source yet is also one of my favorites:

"There's a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called 'fan fiction'."

; >

This below is from his promotional "review" of the Doctor Horrible DVD:

" I was promised eggs, but did not find any eggs, only horrible, stinging bees, but I am told the eggs are good."

Alrighty, I gotta make like a shepherd.
"Some day you'll be a real boy" - Spike
Once More With Feeling
Oh here's some from an old post he put on the Serenity Brown coat board
"AHh spider! Spider! No.. Wait. Lint. Ah Lint! Malevolent lint!"
my heart will go on. My liver's a house of cards, though.
The Bronze. The Angelix. The Portly Norwegian Bondage House. All come and gone.
We'll find each other again, especially if any of you are portly, Norwegian and 'open-minded'.
And from a Whedonesque post...
I was going to use ‘trees’ as my example, but at the rate we’re getting rid of them I’m pretty sure we really do think they’re evil.
The sky isn’t evil. Try looking up.
And his Equality Now speech...
Equality is not a concept. It's not something we should be striving for-
it's a necessity. Equality is like gravity; we need it to stand on this earth, as men and women.
and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who is confronted with it. -Re misogyny.
Congratulations, Quoter Gal!

A Xander quote:

You'll bore him to death with free prose?

And another:

It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to.

The well is inexhaustible, isn't it?
Found my list of Angel quotes! Sorry for taking up so much room here by the way, I'm just like an excited puppy right now!
Nice place. Not much of a view, but it has a certain Batcave charm to it. -Doyle
Get a job, you lazy sow. -Doyle
He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink down in the pub. -Cordy
You're a lot smarter than you look. Of course, you look like a retard. -Cordy
It was like the Soviet Secret Police, if they cared a lot about shoes. -Angel
You know, it's a good thing I didn't fantasize about you turning human only about ten zillion times... because today would have been a real let-down. -Buffy
One of us has been drinking, and I'm sorry to say it's not me. -Doyle
Well, if it's a fight they want... can't someone else give it to them? -Doyle
Tell you what. You fight, and I'll keep score. -Doyle

Okay I'm done for the night!! It's late and I need to sleep!
"Unthinking brutality does not make one mad ... only hope can do that." - Aghanne, Astonishing X-Men 23

"Why aren't you awesomed by me?" - Molly, Runaways 26
Three Flowers In A Vase - I found the quote!
"Miss a good fight? AND the chance to see you get maybe killed? Not for a gallon of sack."

And I heartily second the following from Xantastic1316:
"I'm gonna go in the corner and play my violin and ... math!"

and from Brett:
"My hat has a cow."
"Your definition of narrow is impressively wide."
Rational thought, it's an acquired taste. Gunn
"Where the hell have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass." - Andrew, Buffy S7, Get it Done
You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals. -Xander

And I'm eating this banana.
Lunchtime be damned!
- Willow

Say, you didn't all happen to do a
bunch of drugs, did you? - Willow

Okay, I think you might maybe have no idea what you're talking about. -Fray

You remeber that you're not allowed to talk until after I've used you for sex, right? And also not then.
- Sugarshock
"How many times do I have to tell you Anya, never go for the kill when you can go for the pain."


That was when he killed Halfrek.
"Don't believe everything you're foretold." Angel

"I have to believe in a better world." -Alt Giles
"Go ahead. I have to live in this one." -Alt Buffy

Quotes I've seen on the board and would like to second:

"Unthinking brutality does not make one mad ... only hope can do that."

"This is beyond my ken - and my Barbie - and all my action figures."

"That's beautiful. Or, taken literally, incredibly gross."

"If you hurt my sister, you're going to wake up on fire."

"Oh Pacey, you blind idiot! Can't you see she doesn't love you?"

"This will give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of being mean to me!"

"I love you. I don't know if I trust you."
"Ours is a forbidden love."
"Don't be ridicolous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat."
"Caught me. Big fib… To cover up my sleazy affair with Angel."
"Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief."
Oh .... Joss quotes too:

> "Bring your own subtext".

> "I don't want to make responsible shows about lawyers. I want to invade people's dreams"

That last one may be off by a word or two.
"If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend." Willow to Riley, The Initiative

All from Pangs:

"Buffy, Xander is in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?" Giles

"You won, alright? You came in and you killed them and you took their land, that's what conquering nations do. It's what Caesar did, and he's not going around saying 'I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it'" Spike

"Maybe it's the syphilis talking, but some of that made sense" Xander

"Uh, you can have casinos now" Buffy, to Chumash warrior

"Did you see me? Two seconds of conflict with an indigenous person, and I turn into General Custer". Willow

From the much neglected season 7:

"Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm monster?" Xander to Anya, Beneath You

"Run! Hide your babies and your bead work". Subtitle, Selfless

"I believe in you, Spike" Buffy, Never Leave Me

"It's a total loss of control. And not in a nice, wholesome my girlfriend has a pierced tongue kind of way"
Willow, Chosen

"Dude, I got mad skills" Faith, Chosen

"I'm gettin' zero juice here, and I look like Elizabeth Taylor" Spike, Chosen
Recently re-watched Waiting in the Wings. Here's some love:

Angel: Ask me why I'm smiling.
Cordelia: I will, because it's scaring me.

Angel: I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. I cried like a baby. And I was evil!

Fred: I love the ballet! I mean, I haven't seen that much, but my family used to go to the Nutcracker every Christmas, and I had my first sexual dream about the Mouseking.

Wesley: How will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?

Wesley: Who's laughing now? ...Well, you. But I still win.

Prima Ballerina: I don't dance. I echo.

Angel: You love her that much? Start a website.
"You're goin' come with us."

Kaylee's greeting to Shepherd Book

[ edited by Madhatter on 2010-07-03 12:22 ]
"Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit rollups."

Giles in "Something Blue"
"Oh, bollocks."

Spike in "Chosen"
Just remembered:

"Party in my eye socket and everyone's invited!" -Xander in Chosen-
"I'm seventeen; linoleum makes me wanna have sex."
- Xander in Innocence
"Is there a Geppetto in the house?" - Lorne, "Smile Time"
"You pissed in the big man's chair? That's fantastic!" - Spike
"I dislike that Anya. She's newly human and strangely literal." - Anya
"Fire bad. Tree pretty." - Buffy
"Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did ya?" - Willow
"Well, tally-ho then! In fact, what say we tally your hoes?" - Alpha

If you'll forgive the nitpicking, I have a few corrections to quotes already on the list. Fixes in brackets:

You can[']t just throw people at all your problems, dear.
It's not enough to bash in heads[,] you’ve got to bash in minds[.]
We're in space[, S]hepherd. It[']s always the middle of the night.
This house will fall[.]
And I won't feel..[.] A thing[.]
Why aren[']t you awesomed by me?
We totally Shadowcatted! Chase is gon[n]a be so jealous!
Don[']t freak. Don[']t react. Take control. Just step up.
My depth perception[']s not exactly what it used to be.
Yeah[,] we totally had sex.

Also, "Fe fi fo fucking fum" is on there twice, though neither is exactly right. Since it's both Xander & Dawn, it should be:

"Say it with me now: Fe fi fo..." "...F%$#ing fum!"
"You'd be ignored at Comic-Con"
"Quick! To the Angel-mobile! Away!"
"And Joss's ungluing when I mention pooing, which I'm always doing... I mean mentioning pooing, I mean art"
"They weren't cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see the sky and they remember what they are."
"What the hell is up with you up on the Hulu"
"I threw up on your bed."
"On behalf of my gender, hey!"
"I'm pathetic, illiterate. I'm Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel."
"Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?"
Oh and...
"The snow on the roof is too heavy, you see, the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger."

[ edited by property of Mr Gordo on 2010-07-03 21:07 ]
Don't ever go to a "free virgin blood" party. Turns out it's probably a trap.
"Good god that's a lot of shake."

"It was like a meat party in my mouth. Ok, I'm only 16 and even I know that sounded wrong."

"I happen to think mine is the level head, and yours is the one things would roll off of!"

"Hey, sorry. Sorry 'bout that, chief."

"Ow. Mommy, this mortal wound itches."

"No, if I were upset I believe I'd be making a strange 'clucking' sound with my tongue."

"Dru, luv? Get bent."

"Oohh...bad Daddy!"

"Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all."

"Put a bullet to me. Bullet to the brain pan. Squish."

"Mal. Guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?"

"She is startin' to damage my calm."

"You guys always bring me the best violence."

"How much ammo we got left?" "Three full mags, and my swinging cod!"

"Sergeant Malcolm Reynolds, balls and bayonets brigade."

"Sir, I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off." "Work, work, work."
"Buffy: Thank god we're hot chicks with super powers.
Faith: Really takes the edge off."

Angel: "You're not cute when I'm angry."

Dru: "Do it again! Do it again!"
Angel: I'm a funny guy.
Buffy: "Everybody die always". Cheers to everyone for their help and quotes.
Xander: I saw that shmile ya little shlut!

Xander: Party in my eyesocket and everyone's invited!

Captain Mal: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
Just in case you need more Firefly:

Next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face. -Mal, "Ariel"

Ah, the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots... SHUT UP! One of you's gonna fall and die, and I ain't cleanin' it up! -Mal, "War Stories"

I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist. -Simon

We're not killing any folk today, on account of we're on kind of a tight schedule, Yo-Saff-Bridge. -Mal, "Trash"

It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue put up of him was one kind of sumbitch or another. -Mal, "Jaynestown"

He just has this idiotic sense of nobility, you know? He can never just let things go. He thinks he's this hard-hearted criminal, and he can be unrelenting... but there's a side to him that's just so... You're talking about Jayne Cobb?! -Inara, "Jaynestown"
Don't think I've ever seen "Hello, cutie" up there but I could be wrong.
Here's some more Angel...
You're run-on sentences have got a lot less pointless. -Wesley
they're evil here. They don't judge. -Harmony
Angel Investigations. We hope you're helpless. -Doyle
in hell you tend to know a lot of the people. -Angel
No one could have said "demon poo" before I touched it? -Cordy
We've only done one of the five basic torture groups. We've done blunt, but that still leaves sharp, hot, cold, and loud. -Faith
My arse is not pansy. -Wesley
We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of Baby Jesus. -Gunn
Why do girls want to look like that? I spent years in a cave starving, what's their excuse? -Fred
We tried to stop her by hitting her fists and feet with our faces. -Gunn
"And I think calling him a 'psychotic lowlife' is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community."

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