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"No wonder you like this stuff. It's like reading The Sun."
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October 11 2010

Dollhouse Season 1: the bite-sized script. Courtesy of the Reduced SFX Company.

Hee.

They missed a few things:

1. I am DR. SAUNDERS (I used to be a man!)/WHISKEY and I am full of trauma. I will wear these traumatic scars to spite all of you and your perfected plastic surgery and because I will never let anyone forget how I got them. And hey, they are very intriguing. No?

2. The encyclopedia's across the world are rewritten to accommodate VICTOR redefining the gender bender.

3. We discover that TOPHER's dark secret is a drawer of inappropriate starches and that he is not only a socially immature goober (Man reaction?) but a boffin. And a very lonely boffin too. Awwwww.

4. The highly sinister and mysterious bottomless pit of an attic (If, you know, gravity cooperated and attics could BE pits.) that Rossum kept in it's back pocket in case anyone refused to eat their peas or showed signs of becoming ethically aware.

5. Rossum is revealed to not play by their own rules and the Dollhouse "volunteers" turn out to be a myth. Quelle surprise. Cliched and gifted young woman artist is revealed to be at the mercy of cliched powerful man with money. The audience squirms and then attempts to buy art.
"The audience squirms and then attempts to buy art."

Hahahahahaha!
Most of that is Season 2, though.
"Most of that is Season 2, though."

Damn. You're right. Two of those are S2. My bad. To date, I've only seen a couple of the first episodes of S2 so I thought I was good. (I can't wait for my DVD!) I guess they had a big impact. Let this be another cautionary tale about posting before morning tea.

How about instead...

Victor becomes the über doll. The audience lauds him loudly and repeatedly.

The Dollhouse is revealed to be ground zero for the apocalypse. Were we ever foolishly expecting anything else?
JOSS WHEDON: “Meh, I was just messing about because I knew the show would be cancelled anyway. You think we could afford this every week on Fox? Whatever.”
FOX NETWORK: “Actually, even though your series is morally dubious and we don’t like any of the characters or even like the concept, we’re going to give you a second season after all!”
JOSS WHEDON [blankly]: “Did I fall asleep?”
TOPHER: “For a little while.”

My favourite part. Hilarious!

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