Whedonesque : Comments on 3965 : "Dark Shadows" Not Picked Up By The WB!

Um... Commando Nanny?

If anyone needed further proof that quality TV is pretty much dead, there ya go.

Commando frickin' Nanny!? What the.....? How hard is it to get a TV show these days, I've got to get a green card, 'cos I'm pretty sure I could come up with a better show than that, I think the majority of people could come up with a better show than that.

Fox'll probably soon announce that the pilot for a show called Admiral Baby that the Simpsons watched in one episode'll be getting a series.

Ghost Spike | May 18, 13:44 CET

commando nanny does seem like the strange name, yet many dissed 'buffy, the vampire slayer' for it's title as well - and look how that ended up

aapac | May 18, 14:08 CET

The only thing I would watch on The WB's Fall line up would be "Jack & Bobby" cause I'm quite fond of political dramas. A reworking of the Kennedy mythos might prove to be a sleeper hit for them.

Gotta feel sorry for the Dark Shadows fans. They've been sold a pup by the WB but from what I've read the pilot was very bad indeed. Plus I was looking forward to seeing a Warren Ellis show as well *sighs*.

Simon | May 18, 14:20 CET

Simon - the only thing Kennedy related to 'Jack & Bobby' is the names and that's it - the show has nothing to do with the Kennedy's and this is what they are passing off as genre TV for next season. It's set in current time with flash forward scenes in which one of them is the president - but the audience is never suppose to know which one becomes president.

There are Dark Shadows fans???? Actually I am one I guess but I was not interested in the show after reading some of the premiss - not to mention 'Lost In Space' also getting canned.

RavenU | May 18, 15:26 CET

Commando Nanny sounds like something from The Onion...

Chris inVirginia | May 18, 15:28 CET

There's a page up at the WB about how they reveal the lineup later (though it's already leaked). Now, I understand Angel didn't invent the phrase "Powers that be" but I hate that they're using it, b*st*rds.

Ghost Spike | May 18, 15:28 CET

Jordan Levin's pink slip is being printed as we type.

prufrock | May 18, 15:48 CET

At this point, all I can do is laugh, despite the sheer idiocy of these people, and despite the loss of Angel. It's obvious they are completely out of touch with their audience. It's all about chasing money for them, obviously. It's ridiculous. I feel like an old grown-up, but I don't care. It makes me laugh-they are pathetic

jeebs | May 18, 15:48 CET

After Angel ends, the WB is "Must not see" TV.

Has UPN announced their lineup? So far the upcoming season for TV just sucks. I don't see anything new I want to try out and all the shows I use to watch are gone..

twiggy | May 18, 17:12 CET

I'm sorry but they are replacing Angel with two sitcoms - that will run after Smallville .... ok whose the idiot that thought that was a brilliant move. Well I guess Smallville willl be another genre axed show after next season. Cause when is the last time you saw a drama followed by 2 comedies in primetime, unless of course a lot of rednecks watch Smallville.

RavenU | May 18, 17:25 CET

Nah, just teenage girls (at least I'm assuming they do), having not been a teenager for more years than I care to admit.

WilliamTheBloody | May 18, 17:54 CET

<10:01 P.M. Wednesday evening>

*click*

*silence*

...Turning off my TV, possibly forever...

[ edited by tkent on 2004-05-18 16:34 ]

Grace | May 18, 18:31 CET

Does The WB really believe "Commando Nanny" has *any* potential to be a hit?

Invisible Green | May 18, 18:35 CET

"blue collar tv" and "commando nanny"?

*grabs knife, thinks about slitting wrists, then decides better of it and goes to find Levin...*

Oh, nevermind, I won't have to kill Levin, because most certainly his head is going to be on a silver platter next year once the higher-ups realize he and his minions don't know jack-sh*t about programming.

cubiclesatan | May 18, 19:04 CET

Do it anyway, cubiclesatan!!

Chris in Virginia | May 18, 19:21 CET

Blue Collar TV - If yew think dat a sketch comedy show in the 21st century is gonna get ratings if ya compare it to HEE HAW? Yew might be a redneck.
Commando Nanny - I picture Fran Drescher's Nanny but without Fran Drescher. Replace her with Steven Seagal. Hilarity ensues. I'll keep a barf bag by my armchair just in case.
Jack & Bobby - What retards in ties think this crap up? "Get this! They're Jack & Bobby right? One of them is gonna be president but we don't say who, and we don't say they're the Kennedys but we allude to it, right? We subtly bang the audience over the head with metaphor and imagery and symbolism. This is gonna be great!" This is gonna suck.
Green Screen - They're kidding right? This is a joke. Oh, it better be better than it sounds cuz it sounds awful.

ZachsMind | May 18, 19:34 CET

Chris - are you going to provide bail money? Don't. Tempt. Me!

Seriously, who all here plays Fantasy Angel? Because I think next year, in lieu of it, we need to have Fantasy "Which Show Will Get Canned Next on the WB"? (And coincidentally, wasn't it satisfying to see how fast "The Help" got helped out the door as Herc noted?)

They are going to have to develop mid-season replacement shows, or start showing old movies, because with this lineup...I'd rather watch roadkill.

[ edited by cubiclesatan on 2004-05-18 17:43 ]

cubiclesatan | May 18, 19:42 CET

My heart is all aflutter at the demise of Dark Shadows and Lost In Space. But please don't tell me the WB is really replacing Angel with a Hee-Haw like sketch comedy show, and Drew Carey jumping around in front of a green screen. I'm gonna go find a preacher to poke out my eyes now.

MindPieces | May 18, 19:43 CET

So Angel is replaced by Jeff Foxworthy and Drew Carey sketch shows. Ahh, mediocrity, thy name is the WB.

drewfidelic | May 18, 19:44 CET

Ah yes, "Blue Collar TV" from the comic genius of Jeff "You Might Be a Redneck" Foxworthy; and Drew Carey's "Green Screen" -- The WB's answer to "Who's Line Was Cancelled from ABC, Anyway?"

Wow... talk about some seriously bad scheduling. Can we say "losing lead-in audience."

And have you seen this "filler" reality show they dreamed up, Studio 7? It's "The Real World" meets A Bad Quiz Show.

[ edited by SaveAngel on 2004-05-18 17:56 ]

Whedonage | May 18, 19:53 CET

"Green Screen"? "Blue Collar TV"? The WB has officially surrendered. Once "Gilmore Girls" and "Smallville" disappear after next season, the existence of the WB will be as pointless as that of UPN. When you plan your fall schedule solely on the basis of an (outmoded) economic model and you are no longer willing to take any sort of risk with your programming, you are dead in the water.

The decline of "free" TV continues. Cable, digital programming, and PPV will gobble up even larger chunks of the viewing audience.

cjl | May 18, 19:55 CET

Commando frickin' Nanny!? What the.....? How hard is it to get a TV show these days, I've got to get a green card, 'cos I'm pretty sure I could come up with a better show than that, I think the majority of people could come up with a better show than that.

Ghost Spike--Many people have come up with better shows than that. (In fact, there was once this great show called Angel about a vampire with a soul and his detective agency. I know it sounds weird but it was really amazing, I swear!)The WB clearly isn't interested. I think the only way you're going to be able to horn in on their line-up is if you can come up with something worse. Now, there's a real challenge. ;)

marmoset | May 18, 20:09 CET

Makes you wonder if they would have the bollocks to ask Joss to bring back Angel as a mid season replacement next year once all their shows flop. Well I can dream can't I?

Wasn't Commando Nanny a Hulk Hogan film?

Simon | May 18, 20:14 CET

The question I want answered is this: who in hades would actually audition for a spot in a show like Commando Nanny?

Personally, I think there's more honor in scrubbing toilets. At least then you're getting rid of the traces of feces, instead of creating MORE.

cubiclesatan | May 18, 20:18 CET

Hogan was in "Mr. Nanny" a comedy whose premise is "A former pro-wrestler is hired to be the bodyguard/nanny for a couple of bratty kids whose inventor father is being stalked by a rival."

Because, you see the formula is "Kids+bad male parent/babysitter = hilarity."
(See, also: Eddie Murphy in "Daddy Day Care"; Steve Martin in "Cheaper By The Dozen"; The Ahnold in "Kindergarten Cop"; and the classic Michael Keaton "Mr. Mom" -- with the genre reaching its ultimate expression in "Three Men & A Baby.")

Whedonage | May 18, 20:28 CET

You will all be pleased to hear that the WB has its blurb up for Commando Nanny.

I knew I was close about Hulk Hogan ta.

Simon | May 18, 20:30 CET

As the oft-declared Queen of Trivia, I hereby state the title of the Hulk Hogan film in question was "Mr. Nanny." (I know ONLY because I worked at a movie theater when it was running.)
And I LIKE Whose Line. Not nearly as much as Angel, but it beats the crap out of sitcoms.

meredith | May 18, 20:33 CET

Personally, I think there's more honor in scrubbing toilets. At least then you're getting rid of the traces of feces, instead of creating MORE.

No sh*t!

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

marmoset | May 18, 20:37 CET

I can see it now (if I were a web designer)...my own webpage.

Title: Cubiclesatan Critiques the Fall WB Lineup
Premise: Enlists cohorts to watch - Clockwork Orange style - the new shows next season and write up reviews

Logo: Myself, holding up a giant toilet brush in one hand, the other hand pointing to it

Snappy Tagline for Site: "Scrubbing the Sh*t Out of the Fall Lineup, 2004!"

Reasons why Site Will Never Exist: 1) The Existence of the Geneva Convention which outlaws torture 2)Insurance Premiums and Mental Health Care costs too much to adequately compensate reviewers for the horror they would be subjugated to.

cubiclesatan | May 18, 20:45 CET

"Sh*tcom" is my new favorite word.

bloodflowers | May 18, 20:50 CET

Wow, besides my guilty pleasure of Gilmore Girls, this really bites the big one. Won't even get into the 'Commando Nanny' thing except that it sounds like a made up title for a Steve Martin movie in which he satirizes the TV world or something.

And so both Lost in Space and Dark Shadows canned before taking off. Strangely enough I feel no satisfaction. But as far as I know 'Global Frequency' is still on track. According to Warren Ellis the pilot was 'hideously expensive, didn't know TV could cost this much'.
For the rest, it looks like absolute bunk. I predict Levin to be replaced by the end of the season.

Oh and 'What I like about you' is actually still on the air'???

EdDantes | May 18, 21:03 CET

And now it's my favorite word, too, Bloodflowers! ROFL!

cubiclesatan | May 18, 21:11 CET

Instead of posting another thread.
Futon Critic already ahs the compelte rundown for THE WB Fall Schedule.
Link to THE WB Fall Schedule http://66.51.173.18/cgi/gofuton.cgi?action=newswire&id=6593
PIcs for the new shows, including the **laughs** Commando Nanny
http://66.51.173.18/cgi/gofuton.cgi?action=newswire&id=6594
The Intesting poing might Global Frequency, as a Mid Season series.

[ edited by Numfar PTB on 2004-05-18 19:51 ]

[ edited by Numfar PTB on 2004-05-18 19:52 ]

Numfar PTB | May 18, 21:43 CET

Numfar, I don't think you posted the right link. This is some kind of "techie" article??

Gag me. You'd have to be inbred like Jeff Foxworthy to think this lineup is actually good.

Sorry, but I have a little more discriminating taste.

[ edited by cubiclesatan on 2004-05-18 20:00 ]

cubiclesatan | May 18, 21:45 CET

Oh crap, I've just realised Wonderfalls isn't in the lineup. So the show dies with only 4 episodes having been given an official screening.

Shouldn't have hoped for something good to get through, when the guy reckons Commando Nanny is good TV programmes like Wonderfalls must have just confused him, Angel probably overloaded his brain and turned him into a dribbling wreck.

Strange how we heard that Angel was cancelled to make way for either reality TV or repeats, yet they fill it's slot with niether.

Ghost Spike | May 18, 22:06 CET

Cubiclesatan, marmoset, and bloodflowers -- you made my day!

palehorse | May 18, 23:14 CET

That Commando Nanny picture is ridiculous. I'm assuming the guy in the camouflage is the "commando" but which of the chippies is the "wife" and which is the "daughter"? Cripes!

Thank you bloodflowers, sh*tcom pretty much says it all!

marmoset | May 18, 23:15 CET

I'd like to think Global Frequency would be interesting -- liked the comics series -- but I just don't think the WB (or any network) is going to let one of the primary themes of the series come through.

I.e., the governments and corporations of the world are (a) short-sighted wankers and (b) constantly producing / allowing horrific events from occuring; and only an unaffiliated, independent group of volunteers has a hope of cleaning up after them.

If the "Global Frequency" of the TV series hasn't been turned into a government agency, I'll eat my hat.

bookrats | May 19, 00:03 CET

So pathetically sad is this lineup that I actually wonder if the WB is rolling over? Canning the most critically acclaimed, well-written drama with the most loyal following they have, and then following that incredibly foolish move with the announcement of a season of crap so their stock will plummet, making them prime for a nice juicy takeover? 'Cause if not, this is the worst example of network programming strategy -- if I dare even dignify it with that term -- that I've ever seen.

I'm going to laugh so hard when Jordan Levin's head gets chopped off. Right above his expensive tie. Swing the crebbil! I can smell the desperation already!

And also, sh*tcom is priceless. Calling Oxford Dictionary -- you have a brand-new pop culture entry that's going to be popping up everywhere. Cross-referenced with 'see WB'. ;)

[ edited by Wiseblood on 2004-05-18 22:10 ]

Wiseblood | May 19, 00:10 CET

The reason why the WB picked up Commando Nanny is cause it is a Mark Burnett show and so far everything he has touched has turned to gold. Hee Hee, can't wait for this fall lineup to fail miserably. I don't know about you, but I'll be having one heck of a tv season next year...It is called DVDs.

ktbear7476 | May 19, 00:13 CET

Riddle me this: who is Mark Burnett? Oh. *checks IMDB.com* He who came up with the Survivor that started all this reality nonsense. Swing the crebbil again, please. Yeah, I know a lot of people here like it, I'm saying I don't. I universally refuse to watch "reality" junk.

I'm trying to come up with something for "WB", but so far I am stuck - oh wait I think inspiration hit"

Wanking
Bastards

[ edited by cubiclesatan on 2004-05-18 22:29 ]

cubiclesatan | May 19, 00:24 CET

I'm beginning to think "Bastards" gives them too much credit. I'm wondering if it isn't more appropriate to label them "Buffoons."

The sad thing about Levin is I'm sure he doesn't give a rat's posterior about what happens. If he gets the axe he's still going to walk away with a big, fat severance package, good references and a boatload of connections. Well, I suppose "bastard" might be the best term after all...

marmoset | May 19, 01:05 CET

Simon - "Global Frequency" is still on The WB's midseason menu, as are the teen drama "Rocky Point" (which could've started in the fall if the lead actor didn't decide that he wanted to film a movie after doing the pilot) and the Fran Drescher sitcom "Shacking Up."

The WB is also considering picking up a currently untitled comedy series from Robert Schimmel and Howard Stern as a midseason replacement.

Invisible Green | May 19, 02:06 CET

Thanks Invisible Green.

As to what WB should stand for? Why Bother?

Simon | May 19, 02:11 CET

How Levin describes the fall schedule:

"This fall season, we celebrate our first decade by diversifying our unique portfolio of distinctive programming, from marquee dramas to sketch-comedy, animation to improv, variety to game shows, we have an eclectic, exciting mix of scripted and reality series with big-name comedy performers, award-winning actors and the young breakout stars that have become The WB's trademark." (Taken from Futon Critic)

I just want to hit the slimy bastard, how can he call this lineup great, if it had Angel in it, it would be great, because we'd all once again be thanking god for another season, but it doesn't, so we can all finally see the WB for the sh*t it is.

Ghost Spike | May 19, 02:49 CET

...we have an eclectic, exciting mix of scripted and reality series with big-name comedy performers, award-winning actors and the young breakout stars that have become The WB's trademark.

Uh, how's that again? I couldn't sworn that copy actually read, 'we have a laughably uninspired jumble of rejected-by-major-network series and WB-generated dreck, with has-been comedians and second-tier actors who are primarily distinguished by their consistent absence from any high profile awards shows or critic's lists, and trendy flavor-of-the-months teen hotties who will drop off the cultural radar screen once their abysmal vehicles expire. We're proud to continue to define ourselves by canceling quality programming and further, to obviate television excellence and respectability at the WB by obsequiously catering to the basest level of exploitainment and sentimental tripe demanded by the common herd.'

Funny. I like my reading better. And WBitterness is my contribution to the Oxford Dic.

Wiseblood | May 19, 04:43 CET

Urgh! How wrong is it that the more I hear about "Commando Nanny," the more I want to watch it just to see how awful it is?!

Invisible Green | May 19, 08:08 CET

Major Dad is in Commando Nanny. Bastard.

friarfunk | May 19, 09:43 CET

May 18 2004