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"Next up, who's gay!"
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August 02 2004

Diamond really make the cut for SMG. Article about, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend, but how deep is that relationship?" mentions the Princess cut ring SMG received from her Prinze.

Am I the only person who's sick of those commercials that imply if you really loved your woman, you'd buy her a diamond? Why should some normal Joe shell out months(or years) worth of his salary for a shiny bauble to prove his love? I'm not saying diamonds aren't nice to look at....for a while. But I'd rather buy a car or put a down payment on a house instead of having a diamond ring. But that's just me. I ain't yer typical girl. I also think spending 10's of thousands of dollars on a big party we call a wedding is ridiculous. Needless to say, I wasn't one of those girls who had my wedding all planned out when I was 9! Blah....not all women are this materialistic, but the media sure tells us we should be!
Sudden intense sensation of nausea . . . ok, all better now. Isn't it amazing how pure commercials such as this one for the diamond trade can get dressed up as a "story" for the newspapers? Heartily concur with RogueS - the quality of a relationship is not measured in carats or chunks or whatever. (And my wife and I got married in San Francisco city hall in front of 0 witnesses - although we had a party in a pub in London a few months later to celebrate ;))

I suppose people in the public eye experience a certain pressure to conform that we ordinary folks don't understand. Maybe if FPJ hadn't shelled out that cash for SMG then their relationship would have been vilified even before it started? (Don't really believe this, but just to offer a counterpoint).
I agree whole heartedly with you, Rogue Slayer. If I get married, I want something like a garnet in an vintage setting, or a moon stone (which is my favorite stone). And I want to have a wedding on a cliff over-looking the ocean and I would be wearing a vintage gown and flowers in my hair and my closest friends would be there. Nope, no big expensive wedding for me.
I don't even wear my wedding ring and engagement ring. I like to have my hands bare. I remember, though, when my husband gave it to me that a co-worker who had gotten engaged a month before me was furious because my diamond was bigger and she made her fiance buy her a new one. I was stunned by that. My ring is only about a 1/4 karat and her's was just a fraction smaller. Mine was my husband's grandmother's too.

Rogue Slayer, your sentiments match mine exactly regarding weddings and those diamond commercials. My husband and I often get annoyed at those ads saying that if you loved her you'd spend at least 3 months of your salary on her. We had a very small, simple wedding with about 80 guests - most were family, I come from a huge clan. But, if I had it to do all over again, I'd elope. I never was one who fantasized about my wedding either and just thought the whole planning of it was stressful and a waste of time.

Okay, now for a comment about the prices these celebs paid for their rings. SMGs was a bargain at $100,000 compared to everyone elses. Catherine Zeta Jones is walking around with a million dollar rock on her hand. A little bit of overkill if you ask me.
"when my husband gave it to me that a co-worker who had gotten engaged a month before me was furious because my diamond was bigger and she made her fiance buy her a new one. I was stunned by that."

Yowzah.....you're kidding! That woman was the perfect demographic for those commercials. You all seen that one... how does it go... where the guy yells out in public how much he loves his girl and she's mostly embarrassed and wants him to shut up. Then he gives her this ring with a huge stone and all of a sudden she embraces him with a big "I love you!". Every woman should be insulted by that one.

Well apart from the women like the one you mentioned, blwessels....they probably see nothing wrong with it.

"Okay, now for a comment about the prices these celebs paid for their rings. SMGs was a bargain at $100,000 compared to everyone elses. Catherine Zeta Jones is walking around with a million dollar rock on her hand"

Ugh....decadence. Still nothing compared to the huge rock Kobe Bryant bought off his infidelity with. "Oh of course I forgive you for sleeping around on me honey. What a big diamond!"

What was it again? 4 million for that one?
The whole ring deal's just a tradition from the past. It should mostly fade away as things become more equal between the sexes and (if) more people bother to question the "why" of it all. Like most tired societal habits, hopefully it'll die out.

[ edited by Kris on 2004-08-02 19:53 ]
I know exactly what commercial your talking about because the first time I saw it I remember looking at my husband being kind of insulted that is how women are portrayed. She wasn't thrilled that he was shouting to the world that he loved her but only excited when he gave her the big rock!

And yes, that woman I worked with did make her fiance buy her another one, and she kept the first ring because she was going to make it into a diamond necklace.

I had forgotten about Kobe's bribe ring to his wife. Yup, that makes it all better.

The whole feel of this article annoyed me beyond belief with the idea that you have to upgrade the engagement ring now too. There's too much emphasis on materialistic things being put into engagements, weddings and now marriage too. Big diamonds and expensive weddings aren't the recipe for a successful marriage.
There's too much emphasis on materialistic things being put into engagements, weddings and now marriage too. Big diamonds and expensive weddings aren't the recipe for a successful marriage.

Silly us, Blwessels. We thought marriage was about love and commitment. Only now do we find out that we're not really as satisfied with our men as we could be, because we didn't have huge weddings and don't walk around with enormous rocks on our hand!

Ok, so I'll tell our little engagment story(the wedding was in Vegas, nothing special really) because, hey, where's a better place to tell it?! I was visiting Ed in Holland and he took me to this very old Dutch town called Dordrecht. He took me up(a million stairs....) a very old church clock tower. Then he basically had to chase me around the tower because I was videotaping the beautiful city below. He started his romantic proposal 'speech' about 3 different times, because I was sorta more involved in videotaping than listening to him(an occurrence that still occurs from time to time...) Finally he just grabbed me and said, "Will you marry me?" So, yadayadayada, I said yes. Then we both searched some old shops in Rotterdam to find nice silver engagement bands. We had our names engraved in them and we both wore them. Now I wear mine on my right hand, and a wedding band on my left. Ed managed to lose his engagement band, but that's a whole other Oprah.... :)
As large as Sarah's diamond is, and even considering that it's set in platinum, I'd bet at least 40% of its cost (that's right, $40,000) was just for the Cathy Waterman design and caché. You pay for the name.

And don't even get me started on Africa and conflict diamonds, the way the diamond trade funded the mutilation of innocent children in Sierra Leone, genocide, starvation, etcetera etcetera.... If any Whedonesquer's are planning to purchase major bling, please consider Polar Bear Diamonds from Canada.
Rogue Slayer - loved your engagement story! When we decided to get married we didn't have much money and I didn't have a ring. I had people who I worked with tell me I wasn't really engaged then even though we had a date set and everything. When he got the ring he wanted to propose again. We are a very playful couple and he was chasing me around trying to grab me so he could tickle me. He kind of tackled me on the bed, held up the ring in his hand and said "Will you marry me". I thought it was fake, started laughing and said, "Where'd you get that - from a cracker jacks box?!" It took him awhile to convince me it wasn't fake! I still think that was one of the sweetest moments of my life because it wasn't all staged but just the two of us having a blast with each other. It's been almost 20 years of marriage and I still adore him. He's not a guy who showers me with flowers and jewelry but he gives me a lot of love and laughter which is better than any bauble I could ever get.
Or one can go with synthetic diamonds as well.
Which is what we did. So sue me, I wanted a little shiny. It looked like a tiny little bird, the way the czs were arranged. It was so pretty. I couldn't have cared less that the stones weren't real. That was 11 years ago. Even though we are now getting divorced, and the ring is pretty near worthless, I would never throw it away. Great memories!
"Rogue Slayer - loved your engagement story!"

Yeahhh nothing like having to chase your girl around in order to propose to her. Loved the moment when I was in the middle of my speech, I turn to look at her and see I am all alone! She'd already walked away to the other side....lovely....

" I had people who I worked with tell me I wasn't really engaged then even though we had a date set and everything. When he got the ring he wanted to propose again."

Well I can see him wanting to do it again when I got a ring, but people telling you you weren't engaged? If you both plan to marry and even have a date set, you're engaged. Period.

Funny thing with the cracker jack box there btw, hehehe.

"It's been almost 20 years of marriage and I still adore him. He's not a guy who showers me with flowers and jewelry but he gives me a lot of love and laughter which is better than any bauble I could ever get. "

Aw, good stuff.

"That was 11 years ago. Even though we are now getting divorced, and the ring is pretty near worthless, I would never throw it away."

Slightly different aw. Sorry to hear that Willowy. Uh, not sorry that you would never throw the ring away of course. Didn't mean that. Just....ah you know... I suck at this.

"Great memories!"

Tsk, you still don't get it. Listen to the commericals; great feelings and memories can only come from things that cost bundles of money! (Please note sarcasm...)
"Yeahhh nothing like having to chase your girl around in order to propose to her. Loved the moment when I was in the middle of my speech, I turn to look at her and see I am all alone! She'd already walked away to the other side....lovely...."

But that's why it was so sweet - it was so real life! I have nothing against the "dropping down on one knee" proposals but if my husband had done that I probably would've wet my pants laughing. And I'd hate anything like a proposal at a ballpark or something.
"I have nothing against the "dropping down on one knee" proposals but if my husband had done that I probably would've wet my pants laughing."

Glad to hear you say that. Always seems a tad contrived and cliched to me...

"And I'd hate anything like a proposal at a ballpark or something."

Ohhh but how about you go to a restaurant, and you sip your champagne and you....nearly choke on the ring that was in it, and is now going down your windpipe....wait, no that's not right.

Or you open the oyster he had specially prepared.....and there it is! And he proposes on one knee while the waiters stand around you in a circle with goofy grins and the couples from tables around you clap cuz that's what they do in the movies....

Or the oyster with the ring wound up on the plate of the fat guy of two tables down....

I give up. My mood is not set on 'sweetly romantic' tonight I guess....
Different things for different people, I proposed to my girlfriend when she was using the computer.
Hehehe - loved your scenarios Ed! Here's a real one that was recently on the news. An avid ice fisher decided to uniquely propose to his girlfriend by attaching his grandmother's heirloom diamond ring at the end of a fishing lure placed in an ice hole. When he brought his girlfriend there to propose, you guessed it, some fish had taken it as bait and the fish and ring were gone.
I had people who I worked with tell me I wasn't really engaged then even though we had a date set and everything.

I love how people put their own standards on other people's relationships. Of course, I know some women themselves who would refuse to call themselves engaged unless they had a rock on their hand! God, how can any man want to marry a woman like that?? I keep thinking of Monica from Friends.....Wedding scenario A........blah.


I have nothing against the "dropping down on one knee" proposals but if my husband had done that I probably would've wet my pants laughing.

Well, at least I would have had a clue what Ed was doing! When he finally asked me, I was like, "OH...so that's what you've been trying to do!" But Ed would never do the 'on one knee' thing because he thinks that it's just to demean men. I just think it's a sweet gesture. But he's Love's Bitch anyway, so I guess I can go without the 'on one knee' bit. ; )
"I keep thinking of Monica from Friends.....Wedding scenario A........blah."

The scary thing about the Monica wedding storyline is that there are a lot of women out there who really are like that! I think if I were a guy and my fiance started to turn into a control freak obsessed with the wedding I'd run for my life because to me, that's an indication of how she'll be in their married life!

And if Ed had just popped down on one knee and you immediately got what he was doing it wouldn't have been as memorable or fun to tell. But boy did you take "playing hard to get" to a new level :-)

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