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"Vampire cowboy? Vampire fireman? Oh! Vampire ballerina!"
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August 18 2004

Overzealous 'Buffy' Fan With Stake Threatens Man in East Boston. "A Paris Street man was out strolling with his dog in Thursday night's gentle rain when a woman appeared from the gloom with the unorthodox pickup line, 'I am Buffy the Vampire Slayer!'"

Tip: Peter David

Hmmm, this is understandable. I once though I was Numfar, but it ends up that I just had a bad burrito.
The thing that struck me about this report, other than the obvious "witchy woman" mistake, was that the reason Boston police couldn't locate the Buffy doppelganger was that they are clearly too busy with more important busts, like sweeping the bars for - gasp! - 20-year-old drinkers, who are being aided and abetted in their wanton criminality by uncooperative bar managers. (See bottom item on linked page). Thank goodness there were two of Boston's finest detectives on hand to nab those villains. We can all sleep more soundly now . . .

Caleb: the burrito was actually fine. You are Numfar.

[ edited by SoddingNancyTribe on 2004-08-18 20:12 ]
Really?!

*Does the happy dance*
“Turns out police really hadn't heard it all. A 45-year-old man walked into the District D-4 station Thursday to complain that another man threatened to ``slap him in the face with a fish'' after first missing him with a glass bottle and then grabbing and ripping his shirt.”

If at first you don’t succeed, resort to the “Fish Slapping Dance” from Monty Python.
Face full of glass, fish, face full of glass, fish... I'll have the fish unless it was frozen.
How stoopid of that woman. Buffy would never identify herself like that. Doesn't she know the meaning of a secret identity? ;)
I may live near East Boston, own a 12-inch stake (what? it was a gift), and have a tendency to approach men in the dark, but I swear it wasn't me. Really.
Buffy also never starts with the stake. She starts with the snarky comments and karate moves for thirty seconds to five minutes (depending on the filler needed before the next commercial) and THEN after she's worn down the guy she pulls out her stake from her skin-tight outfit where she couldn't possibly have been hiding one, and turns the guy to dust AFTER she's 100% certain the guy actually is a vampire.

I mean, did the guy even vamp out before she introduced herself? I hate it when people can't get the characterizations right. It's bad enough that fan fiction does stuff worse than this, but it's like when lunatics walk around claiming to be God and they're not wearing the customary satin gown and long white beard - that just ticks me off! Doesn't that tick you off?

And it's not the Happy Dance, Caleb. Xander does the SNOOPY Dance. ...Okay I'll shut up.
it couldn't have been you, faith. you aren't buffy.

unless you got a present from the mayor. did tom menino send you a gift recently?

this thread has made me giggle. thank you.
I'm not supposed to laugh out loud while I'm at work.
Ha ha!! Tom Menino as the Mayor!! Just trying to picture him doing those scenes with Faith!!
ZachsMind I think Caleb said he was Numfar, not Xander.
...by then we shall all start performing the Dance of Joy.

Just a bizarre comment to a bizarre report of a bizarre situation. Well, I`ll just shut up.
Leenah: it couldn't have been you, faith. you aren't buffy.
I hate it when people don't tell me this stuff until after...

unless you got a present from the mayor. did tom menino send you a gift recently?
Hehe, yes, I did, actually, a Draconian Katra device. Which means I am Buffy, so there :p
We never get fun stuff like this in Providence. Just the typical murders.

By the way, Buffy does introduce herself to the few vamps that say "Who are you?"...



...better to be swell, than swollen...


I lived in DC when Marion Barry was the Mayor...he was *truly* evil!
There are some things you can not fathom in life. This is one of them. I wonder if it was a college prank. Still I'd probably have heart failure if I was enjoying a walk with my dog and some woman lept out at me.
I've never seen a vamp walking his dog either...
Paris, huh? Could it have been Chloé? :D
zz9, that was how DB got noticed...
Ha ha, This is very funny, It was such a prank, and now im inspired or however you spell it, *It's not a word you spell everyday ya know* well enyway's I think im going to go and do that tonight with some bud's, and Im going to do it right!, with a little cheese......Cheese being im going to make it more, cheesey, as in, i guess corney, or somthing, like a cheesy pun, or somthing stupid, or whatever

[ edited by vastgirlie on 2004-08-19 03:06 ]
When I jump out in front of someone walking their dog and tell them I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer I never get mentioned in the news :(
It's like when lunatics walk around claiming to be God and they're not wearing the customary satin gown and long white beard - that just ticks me off.

Oz really ruined that episode then with his outfit, didn't he?
"When I jump out in front of someone walking their dog and tell them I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer I never get mentioned in the news :( "

See I just jump out of the bushes to surprise women who are walking their dog. I wear a leather duster and strut a lot and tell them not to worry, because I have a soul now;-)
Now see, EdDantes, if you were to put something on underneath that duster of yours, you might not be getting into so much trouble, what with the strutting and the ensoulling and all . . . On the other hand, that probably qualifies you to run for mayor of Portland, OR, right?

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