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"Ripping its brain out is absolutely a good plan. I certainly dont have a better."
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December 07 2004

Away message become online art form. First quote mentioned is a Spike quote; "I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's..."

My pick would be "If the apocalypse comes, beep me" from my coffee mug.
My favorite alltime buffy quote is from season 6.

Anya; "I mean jet lag from hell has got to be, well, jet lag from hell."

One segment provided me with some of my favorite quotes

"Is everyone here very stoned?"


"now, do we suspect that Ben and Glory may have some kind of connection"
mine says "To sacrifice a loved or pet press the # key" from Angel "Conviction"
Heh, I used to have that bit with someone saying "You have reached Wolfram & Hart" before as my answering machine message on my mobile.

Had to change it when non-angel-watching friends kept thinking they'd got a wrong number.
LOVED the W+H automated phone system! I think what really sold it was DB's reaction, the look he have the phone, the way he VERY quickly hung up...
non-angel-watching friends

Oh right, like THOSE exist!
Suppose I don't consider myself a true friend to those people, perhaps a well wisher, in that I wish them no specific harm.
Respect the cruller...tame the doughnut...
Or, the ever classic, "I may be love's bitch but at least I'm man enough to admit it!"
I rather like the "bidet of evil," but I don't think I'd want to say "I'm using the bidet of evil"!

Great choice, all!
Having sex on the hood of a police car with Giles
Master: You're dead!

Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can
say for you.

Master: You were destined to die! It was written!

Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written.
redfern - given this refers to "engaged"-messages of various types, your selection got me thinking. What would we record for the message - sound effects? Eek! Or mmmmmm?!
Sirens maybe....
This reminds me of when I changed all my Windows sounds to movie sound clips. When my comp shut off, I would hear Kevin Spacey ala The Usual Suspects saying "And just like that...he's gone"

I had to stop using the Hannibal Lector sounds, the kinda scared me...

Wouldn't that be great if you could make your away message on any kind of messenger service a sound? Like if someone tries to message you, maybe they'd get a loud, blaring "I still have Buffy taste in my mouth!" heheh
"And the only person I can even stand to be around is a neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker!"0Buffy)--> that's a personal favorite

Ones I've used "Is there a Gheppeto in the house?!" LOrne and "Heroes don't accept the world the way it is, they fight it"-Linsdey
Rogue Slayer, when I still used sounds for actions, I had the exact same shutdown sound.

As far as away messages go, I usually use stuff from songs, but I have a new quote from Firefly in my profile every Saturday night, along with a link to the countingdown timer for Serenity. Right now its:

'Can't get paid if you're dead.'

'Can't get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. Ten percent of nothin' is, let me do the math here... nothin' and a nothin', carry the nothin'...'
There are so many terrific Buffy/Angel quotes from which to select - a clear testament to the high quality writing on every episode. However, some of my favorites include:
Giles: The Earth is doomed!
Willow: You two are the two who are the two. I'm the other one.
Angel: You guys go on. I think I'll stay here and not burst into flames.
Buffy: Uh-oh, you have but-face. (Giles looks confused.)You look like you're gonna say but.
Spike: I love syphilis more than you.
Xander: Something weird is going on. Isn't that our school motto?
Cordelia: As vampires go, you're pretty cuddly.
Dawn: We're safe, right. And Spike built a robot Buffy to play Checkers with.
Anya: I, for one, wasn’t looking forward to starting my day with a slaughter. Which, really, just goes to show how much I’ve grown.
Wesley: I've been accused of a great many things in my time. But paranoid has never been one of them. Unless people have been saying it behind my back.
Gunn: True. I mean who's got time for love when you're out there, doin' it with the demons. (with regretful look) Didn't that come out sad and wrong.
Fred: Are we talking a closed curve of finite length in a simply connected domain of zero? That would be too easy, wouldn't it?
Illyria: I'd like to keep Spike as my pet.
Lorne: I'm pickin' up some hard-cord woo-woo vibes in the room.
Harmony: Spikey. Let's leave the Slayer alone. You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.
Lilah: They don’t crucify here. It’s too Christian.
Connor: Come on. You drop by for a cup of coffee, and the world's not ending? Please.
Lindsey: I hate failure when there's no one else to blame it on.
Joss: I wanted to say thank you one more time, to all of you — except anyone who ever criticized anything ever at all.
Nice, showgirl, nice...!

Personally, I'd like to slay the dragon.
My favorite away message is "Wish me monsters". I also like "Did everybody have their crazy flakes today?" but I save that one for appropriate occasions.

ETA: I remembered a couple more. "Bored now", of course, and "Don't harsh my melon" which is actually a quote by Alexis Denisof from the Spin the Bottle commentary.

All four of these I use on a regular basis.

[ edited by electricspacegirl on 2004-12-08 03:36 ]
Anchovies, Anchovies, you're so delicious!
I love you more, than all the other fishes!
"Ten percent of nothin' is, let me do the math here... nothin' and a nothin', carry the nothin'..."

That's my second favorite Jayne quote!
LOL esg, and a great way to scare away bill collectors?

My favorite FF quote: "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"
"Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?"

Oh, Willowy, that's my #1 favorite Jayne moment ever! The way he grabs at the air and passes out. Adam's comic delivery is perfect. My Serenity board sig is "Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." Another favorite Jayne quote.

[ edited by electricspacegirl on 2004-12-08 03:57 ]
I'd love to have Joss saying: "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck."
"It's like a meat party in my mouth. Okay, I'm just a kid and even I know that came out wrong"


Willow: (in reference to a drawing in her notebook)
"A doodle. I do doodle. You, too. You do doodle, too."


"Nothing can defeat the penis!"

Spike, what are you doing here. Five words or less.

Out for a walk, Bitch.

[ edited by BufSlyAngel on 2004-12-08 04:34 ]
Rogue! That is my mousepad, AND my sig on another board!!

Ok, calming down now...but we're DOING it again...! ;)
My personal Favorite:

Lee - This is getting ridiculous. The first assassin kills the second assassin - sent to kill the first assassin, who didn't assassinate anyone until we hired the second assassin to assassinate the first assassin.

Lindsey - Alright. This obviously isn't working.
Xander (about the girl dancing with R.J.): Daddy like!
Buffy: What is that shirt made of — paint?
(Willow's eyes go wide as she realizes...
Willow: Buff—
Buffy: I?m glad Dawnie isn?t here to see her precious boyfriend getting all thrusty with some slut-bag hussy— (The hussy turns around - it's Dawn. Buffy goes slackjawed.) Oh.
Xander: Oh! Oh, no! Daddy no— I wasn?t— when I was looking, I wasn?t? oh, god!
Willow: Right there with ya!


Buffy: Willow, you?re a gay woman! And he... isn?t.
Willow: This isn?t about his physical presence! It?s about his heart.
Anya: His physical presence has a penis!


Angelus: Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends...No hope. Take all that away... and what's left?
Buffy: Me.

Theres just so many!
There's Always:
Giles: It's the end of the world.
Buffy, Will and Xander: AGAIN?!
(From Doomed)

And then there's that demon quote from Anya in Family, about demons being really useful part of society, which I can't really recall entirely right now (Oh c'mon it's almost 1:00am in the morning here and I still got a school paper to finish).

I've been thinking about putting on that Self Esteem song from Smile Time. That would be funny.

Though lately I've been more tended to include Firefly quotes, which are as good as Buffyverse ones, Ton Ma?

(edited for spelling, remember that 1:00am part?)

[ edited by Numfar PTB on 2004-12-08 05:02 ]
Sorry Numfar, the editing didn't take. Its "Dong Ma?".
Back when I was on AIM a lot, I used to use Buffy quotes as my away messages. I don't remember all of them, but I recall I used a modified version of Buffy's quote from "Anne" as my away message for when I was in the shower:

"You know, I just... I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, hey, what's with all this? I'm . . . I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the . . . sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays."

I had another one from Buffy for when I was in class, but I can't remember what it was.
Mayor Wilkins - "We don't knock during dark rituals?"

Lilah to Wesley - "You were trying to do the right thing, I heard that can be difficult" (may not have this quite right but I love when she says it to Wesley in season 4)
"Dear Diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

"It was the best day ever."
De-lurking for this silly subject because I have way too many of these, such as...

Several Joss ones:

"I'm working on Buffy: Deep Space Nine. It will be dark and badly received."
-joss whedon


"You know, if I have any message for Americans, it's that you can solve problems through fisticuffs."
-joss whedon


"It's all part of the cycle. The Circle. The Circle of Life. (I'm holding up a baby lion on a big flat rock--am I gonna get sued?) Listen. Remember. Enjoy." -Joss

I also use:

"What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass... Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them! For justice, and for the safety of... puppies and Christmas!"


"I'd like to keep Spike as my pet."
-Illyria :-)
Buffy: "What the hell is that creepy little thing doing in my yard? Did Willow put that there while I was dead? 'Cause if I'd known, I would've crawled out of the grave sooner."

Or my favorite.

Buffy: "I killed something in a convent last night."
Xander: "In any other room, a frightening declaration. Here, a welcome distraction. Tell us all about the killing, Buff."
Buffy: "Pretty standard. Vampire staking. Ooh! But I met a nun and she let me try on her wimple."
Xander: "Okay, now we're back to frightening."
Oooh fun, not listed favourite quotes for far too long :)

What's my line pt2:
Xander: "Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo. Okay. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state." (to Cordelia) "Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his liiittle buggy parts."
Cordelia: "I know what it means, dorkhead!"
Xander: "Dorkhead? You slash me with your words!"

Faith, Hope and Trick
Willow:"Do that thing with your mouth that boys like... Oh! I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth."

Willow:"It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."

Book: "I brought you some supper but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped...sin and hellfire... one has lepers."

Jayne: "Testing, testing. Captain, can you hear me?"
Mal: "I'm standing right here."
Jayne: "You're coming through good and loud."
Mal: " 'Cause I'm standing right here."

Our Mrs Reynolds
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

War Stories
Zoe: "I understand. We have no choice. Take me sir. Take me hard"
Jayne: "Something about that's just downright unsettling."

Joss Buffy Spoilers:

As people who have been around for a while know, I always like to get on the "net" and reveal aboslutely everything that's going to happen next year. That way, you don't spend all summer stressing. Here's the important points:

1) Buffy will become a "vampire slayer". I can't really explain what that means yet, 'cause Doug hasn't explained it to me. But it seems to point towards ADVENTURE!

2) Format change: from now on, the first half hour will be about Buffy FIGURING OUT what the monster is, and the second half hour will be about Sam Waterston PROSECUTING the monster.

3) We're easing back on the goats. There've been complaints.

4) Because of the coincidental movie name issue, we will no longer refer to the kids as the "Scooby" Gang. They will be known as the "Scooby Doo, The Film, Coming This Christmas To Your Local DVD Store" gang. Or possibly the "Sharks".

5) The gay thing is so passe. We're over that. But honestly, that's just the way Clem ACTS. We're having a talk.

6) A lot of people were confused at the end when Spike wanted his fish order changed. SOLE, people. Jeez. We HAVE a vampire with a SOUL, you think we're doing that again?

7) Cardigans, cardigans, cardigans.

There are loads more but I think I've done enough for now :)
This one is my new favourite:

There was a question at the London Halloween event about how male vampires can lean back and think of England, given that they have no heart and therefore no blood pumping to the required body part (I paraphrased this question very delicately you may notice) to which David responded:

‘I am just one big walking hard on’

Yeah baby!
one of my away messages is Anya's quote "Have a nice day! Don't get killed." :)

i have entirely too many favorites...i won't put all of you through a list though...
Mal to Jayne: "The days of me not taking you seriously are definitely coming to a middle."

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