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"It's like you said, Emma...I don't have any claws."
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September 12 2005

(SPOILER) Blogcritics review of Serenity. Extremely positive review from someone who loved Firefly but wasn't expecting Serenity to be this good: "Simply put, Serenity astounded me."

"I know that I walked into my first screening with, it must be said, absolutely no faith in him....I am now caught in the warped position of a critic whose single artistic complaint was the shortening of a guitar sequence."

(Very minor spoilage re opening sequence, probably nothing beyond what's in the trailers. Still...abundance of caution and all that.)

I liked the description as the "politely rabid fanbase."
I don't like Vampires. I think Buffy was crap. And no, I will not shut up. Just 'cause a guy writes the wittiest scripts in Hollywood don't make him infallible. Plus the guy's fat. And I hate fat people on principle.


I've read some damn silly pointless things in my time and that was one of the damn silliest.
Agreed, Simon. In the talkback section, the author says that the fat comment was all in good fun. But really, it was silly. And non-applicable. Joss Whedon is not and never has been (in any of the many pictures I've seen) in any way, shape or form, "fat."

As for Buffy being "crap," uh, no.

But all in all, a great review. I liked that he walked in with no faith and came out a rabid fan himself, if not an exactly polite one.
/agree Simon.

[ edited by zeitgeist on 2005-09-12 21:27 ]
Yeah, that line left me scatching my head as well. Not making much sense here as a movie review.

Still, glad he changed his view upon watching the movie.
My sense is that he was trying to be funny/tongue-in-cheek with that paragraph, and just failed pretty miserably. But the rest of the review was good - and certainly rabid! Nothing to critique at all? Even most die-hard Firefly/Serenity fans (who are indeed a politely rabid bunch) seem to find something.
I wish he wasn't so totally dismissive of Buffy cheap television, my foot but glad he saw the brilliance of Firefly/Serenity.
"I've read some damn silly pointless things in my time and that was one of the damn silliest. "
Well, he had to sound cranky about something. Otherwise how could he justify the title of critic? For the most part it was a good review.
I think he meant that Joss Whedon is "phat".
Which we all know is an accurate description.
Yeah, this guy went for funny and snarky, but didn't land anywhere near it. Maybe he should take lessons from Joss.
Agreed, Simon. In the talkback section, the author says that the fat comment was all in good fun. But really, it was silly. And non-applicable. Joss Whedon is not and never has been (in any of the many pictures I've seen) in any way, shape or form, "fat."

As for Buffy being "crap," uh, no.

But all in all, a great review. I liked that he walked in with no faith and came out a rabid fan himself, if not an exactly polite one.


What you said. I found it very off-putting (hence my ellipses in the quote above), but the overall review is so great that I'm prepared to forgive him.

And the Buffy slam could be useful, annoying though it is, in influencing people who have been resistant to Firefly/Serenity because it comes 'from the creator of Buffy'.
I liked it (the joke or a confession or a brain-fart), but I'm more comfortable with ridiculing people than artworks. Artworks seem so helpless and alone, usually.
Plus, Joss is even less "fat" now. He's all buffed out. But even before his workout regime, he was just a normal looking dude. Sure, he looked a little chubby when you put him next to James Marsters, but wouldn't anyone?
Clearly he hasn't seen the new Joss 2.0: leaner, fitter, and with a brand new knee. ;-)
I know everybody is entitled to their opinion, (and I'm glad this fellow ended up liking Serenity), but, I still have a hard time believing anyone that has truly given Buffy a fair chance can call it "crap". Call it "not for them" or "don't care for it", but "crap"???
BTW, I've continued to update my original omnibus of Review links over on Flickr.

Feel free to let me know if I've missed any, especially as we get into the busy time in the coming weeks.
I got five words for you.

Joss is not fat. Bitch

(But uh, other than that, nice review :) )
It's strange to come across someone who still lumps Buffy in with Forever Knight and Dracula '85 (or whatever that show was called) merely because it has vampires in it. But maybe William Gillis will be inspired to give the slayer a second chance now.

It's interesting that he mentions Firefly as being a post-9/11 SF series... it reminds me of how odd it is that I've seen hardly any discussion of how BtVS turned noticeably darker after 9/11/01.
Oh, Apocalypse. You slay me.
Yesssss. Hmm.

"Buffy is crap!"

Woe is this "person" if any of us meet him in public. Was this out of context? Did he say "some illiterate, no taste-having people think Buffy is crap"?

No?

He can't say that. He just can't say that. Nobody can. I mean...they CAN...but it's...just so WRONG. On every kind of level. I know it's irrational how red-faced angry this three-word statement makes me, yet that is exactly what I feel. It's pretty much all I can do to not call him every cuss word I know. I'll settle for schmuck, and wish upon his head a long life. Because someone so shallow and ill-informed will not live pleasantly. GAHH~ I'm trying so hard to skirt direct insults!

And this without even reading the article yet. :P
It was probably a typo. I'm sure he really meant, "I think Buffy season seven was crap."
Yeah, hah hah...

No.
Willowy - concise as ever! ROFLMFAO!
Maybe he was dictating the article and he said "Buffy is -- *brap*" as in, he belched suddenly, and they transcribed it as crap. Reaching... this reminds me of the Amy on Alias thread where someone's friend (Numfar's) said Buffy is crap and Charmed is the 8th Wonder of the World. THAT's crap...

[ edited by zeitgeist on 2005-09-13 07:38 ]
On a related matter, is Joss's new knee bionic?
No, he meant "Buffy is carp." Meaning really tasty fish. Or something.

Oh, crap.
Actually, its funny you bring that up, there was a character in Asheron's Call on the Harvestgain server called Buffy the Carp Slayer... and you guys think I'M weird ;)

[ edited by zeitgeist on 2005-09-13 23:20 ]
I knew I could count on zeitgeist to have my back.

*grin*

And hey, at least "weird" always trumps "boring".

[ edited by brownishcoat on 2005-09-14 01:56 ]
Aside from the remarks that others have already commented on, this was a great review. Let's not harp on the couple of sentences that, really, to non-Whedonites won't even ping the radar. This is the kind of review that gets non-Whedonites into the theater. This guy went in prepared to suffer through it and came out astounded? If I'd never heard of Joss Whedon before, I'd want to see this movie. This is what we want people to be saying right about now.

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