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February 16 2006

Warren Ellis is unimpressed by Comicon. In this mention he's decided to have a light hearted dig at Serenity fans, amongst others - so tell us, have you ever sent a body part to one of the Crew? (Psssst check out the battle of wits between Joss and Warren in the comments section - Simon).

Warren Ellis writes:

Every hotel room in southern California was booked within eighteen femtoseconds of the San Diego Comics Convention reservations webpage being uploaded. That’s it, people. If you didn’t get your booking confirmed within eighteeen femtoseconds of the starting pistol, you’re screwed. Because there are one hundred thousand hungry people out there who need to attend San Diego Comics Convention in order to walk right past all that comics shit and go straight to sniffing Brandon Routh’s cricketbox, sending bits of themselves to the cast of SERENITY and masturbating ferociously in the men’s stalls while wearing V FOR VENDETTA masks and discounted Hulk Hands.

Sending bits of themselves? Naked photos, love poems, homemade pie ... maybe, but not my bits! ;)

Check the lost & found for your sense of humor Warren, I know how stressful these events can be and the overwhelming force of it all can put you in a grumpy mood.
He also mentioned the Boss in one of his Bad Signal subscriber emails yesterday:

Sometimes I get a wild hair up my arse and think, wow, wouldn't it be interesting to be the guy who did one of those massive commercial projects? But it soon passes. You lose so much of your freedom as a writer in that kind of situation. And besides, with something like the X-Men, what's to be done other than move the chesspieces around a bit? The minute you take a gig like that, you're married to three other writers, unless you're Joss.

Well, I'm glad I did get my hotel room booked already!
Ah Warren has always hated the Comicon. Nothing new. And he has a bit of a point. As much of a genre/TV/Comic/Movie nerd as I am, even I have to scratch my head a bit at some of the sites I see there. Of course, I still just find them funny and even kind of endearing sometimes. (Sometimes not so much)

Another thing is what many comic fans/creators hate: how the Comicon devotes more and more time and space to TV shows and movies. Personally I really don't have a problem with that. I loved many of the exclusive previews of movies I've seen, and the panels. Loved them to bits. I loved seeing Joss and the rest. Or Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller. Or even Kevin Smith or Charlize Theron. And Bruce Campbell is a riot! And it's made the whole thing more successful than it's been in years.

Maybe I'd have a problem if comics were shrinking in presence too much but really, I still see my fav artists signing, and I'm drowning in stands where I can buy more comics than I can carry. No offense to Mr Ellis, (love his work) but I have a ball there every year.

You lose so much of your freedom as a writer in that kind of situation. And besides, with something like the X-Men, what's to be done other than move the chesspieces around a bit? The minute you take a gig like that, you're married to three other writers, unless you're Joss.

Well, he's got a point there, hehe.
Frankly, I enjoy Warren Ellis's work the same way I enjoy (some) of the work of John Ringo (I didn't like his latest book). His actual work is enjoyable, but I find it hard to like the guy. In the case of Ellis, I just find that his seemingly bile-spewing hate of all things American just annoys the hell out of me, especially when he inserts it into his work in a rather gratuitious fashion (putting a suicidal jumper through the american flag in the very first issue of his Superman run, for instance). He's a great writer, and I really enjoyed his run on The Authority (up until the death of Jenny Sparks, at which point, IMHO, the comic jumped the shark).

Ellis at times reminds me of a talk radio pundit (or a TV pundits for that matter) - if he disagrees with you on an argument, he won't just disagree with you, but he'll disagree with everything else you hold an opinion on, and bring a great deal of anger and bile to the argument.
So in the comments section, is that who I think it is?
Have you scrolled down and read the comments?

# Joss Whedon Says:
February 16th, 2006 at 12:39 am

Who is this Ellis guy anyway? He thinks he all that cuz he wroted “Planety”. The facts is, KomiKon is AWESOME becuz people dress up like stuff — but nobody dresses like Warner Ellis, I guess, mister sour grapes. I talked to Sumner Glou and she said nobody ever mailed her body parts except for one time an arm and then a messenger brought her a thyroid gland but big deal, SERENDIPITY fans happen to be the most tastefullest fans who have extra or redundant body parts.

The best thing about Comicvention is the girls are pretty and the younglings are pretty (is that a legal issue?) and the men is pretty when they are Jedi but not so much Sith. I like to meet the Comedy Books artists (Not everyone wants to meet Angelina Michelle Watts, you know) and to buy a picture of an elf or dragon already. So stay off this grumpity webcamsite becuz Warner Ellis is just a grouchypants! I met a real General Griefuss, who amongst you can say that?

Peace, dog.
# Joss Whedon Says:
February 16th, 2006 at 12:44 am

Altho that hulk hands thing was me. Sorry. Romulan Ale.
# warrenellis Says:
February 16th, 2006 at 1:03 am

..see, that could actually BE Joss…

Or possibly Steven E McDonald.

Ellis is a lovably angry old man. I can forgive him anything.

Besides, I'm still hopelessly optimistic that Serenity flooding the ComicCon’s will introduce comics to a new audience and resurrect a dieing beast.

How will I ever be called a brilliant genius of comic drawing no-jitsu if no one is around to buy my work?
Well, I've never given any body parts to a "Serenity" actor...although I did give a "Klondike Days" souvenir to Nathan during the Flanvention last December. See, that event happens every summer in Edmonton, where he's from.
But I've already gotten my hotel reservations for the "prom" as Warren calls it. Quite reasonable rates, too. This time, I am going all four days. Getting the ticket and the plane ride should be a snap.

[ edited by impalergeneral on 2006-02-16 03:55 ]
Hmmm COULD be Joss I guess. Style seems off I think. Still funny though.

Ellis is a lovably angry old man. I can forgive him anything.

I hear ya....
Why would anyone want to send their body parts anyways? The Serenites already have very nice body parts, very...very nice body parts.
Could be Joss being silly? I read it like it was...made me LOL.

[ edited by nixygirl on 2006-02-16 05:58 ]
I think this line,

and the men is pretty when they are Jedi but not so much Sith


is pure Joss, as is the reference to "Serendipity," which I think he said once here.

But I could be wrong.
It seemed pretty Josslike to me. Even had Ellis wondering.
I adore Warren Ellis, he is my favourite comic book writer and his emails are wonderful.
Seemed like Joss to me. Definitely made me giggle, there.
He's just being Ellis. If he isn't raving about something I think the kingdom collapses (or is that ravens in the tower, i'm always getting them confused). Besides, the guy who wrote Global Frequency can be forgiven a lot of wrongs.

On the 'Joss' post, it certainly feels like him but with amusing fanboy spelling (and given his posts here i'd say he's been doing a bit of surfing of late ;). Or it could just be an amusing fanboy.
I dunno, but for some reasons, these posts don't look "joss-esque" to me...

[ edited by Le Comité on 2006-02-16 12:01 ]
I've never found Mr. Ellis that bad in regards to his angriness/dislike of everything. I mean, he's no John Byrne.
KomiKon is AWESOME becuz people dress up like stuff

Seems to me to be pure Joss, deliberate spelin and all. If it isn't, it's some funny dude who knows the Master's style well.
I second the Ellis-has-to-rant remarks. Have any of you perused Transmetropolitan? Ranty to the extreme. I would ditto the "loveable old man" remarks as well only he's not so very old. Isn't he like 35? -- I just looked it up, he was born in 2/16/1968, which would make today his 38th birthday. He's a grumpy young man.

Possibly the ranting fuels the genius writing. Whatever fuels it is OK by me.

And count me in on the the feels-like-Joss side. Very slip-slidey like his off-the-cuff style.
Anything above 21 is Old to me.
Felt pretty Jossian to me! Heck it made me giggle quite a bit.

I really don't enjoy discovering the possibility that a writer I admire may be a jerk. I keep on hearing mutterings about PAD too, and that just makes me sad. I mean, I *love* his work! Same goes for Ellis. I'm too new to the World O' Comics to have an assessment of my own about him - I think I'll cling to the idea that he's a loveable curmudgeon-y type. :)



Anything above 21 is Old to me.


Aw geez, man! That's just meeeaaaan! :(
Ah, I am so young and cruel, mwahaha!

Fortunately for me, I like older men 8P.

(And now I scurry off before this topic derails completely)
Haha, those comments did seem pretty Joss-like.

Of course, we dunno it was him...but still very funny.
Anything above 21 is Old to me.

*sniff*
Young whippersnappers, thunkin they rule the world...
I'm sleepy

Seems to me to be pure Joss, deliberate spelin and all. If it isn't, it's some funny dude who knows the Master's style well.


That's strange because the spelling is exactly what makes me think it is not Joss; compare with his last two messages: even when he is funny as hell (heck, he is always funny as hell!) and delirious, he doesn't play (and doesn't need to) with the spelling.

These posts at Ellis' didn't make me laugh precisely because I felt the "wrong spelling" was a forced way to try and be humoristic (as opposed to Joss' way which always seems natural and do not need artificial stuff like that).

(and now, if it happens that it was Joss indeed, I'm gonna burn in hell, having said that it was artificial and not funny and all...:P ).
Anything above 21 is Old to me.


Bleedin' kids, dunno you're born. When I was young I was half the age I was and anything over 19 picoseconds was considered old. Plus, this was all fields.
Toss up on if it was Joss...my only hesitation would be that the writer seems to be mocking how some people write on forums, and I'm not sure that's entirely Joss' way. At least not a whole post long. But who knows, I'm quite often wrong.
A)Saje that was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read in 24 hours.

B) Has anyone else started reading Fell by Ellis? My god that book is awesome.
Hee! Ellis and Whedon in a "flame war". Hilarity ensues.

"Fell" rocks the damn planet! I love reading Warren's mails about getting underneath and inside the way comics are constructed and written. "Fell" is beautiful and engaging and very affordable. It's the comic for folks who don't read comics. Check it out.
"Nope, turns out that was Joss. I mention this to settle down the dozens of people clicking here from Whedonesque. There will, of course, be revenge."

well, it seems Ellis himself believes it's Joss.

curiouser and curiouser. :)

[ edited by miyu_tVP on 2006-02-16 19:11 ]
Well, that's it, I'm doomed to go to hell...

Bye all!
Well apparently Joss owned up in an email as explained here
Seeya, Le Comite, save me a seat (something as far from the lawyers section as possible would be good ;).
haha, that was just the much needed laugh I needed today. Can´t wait for more.
And I guess, considering the importance of my sin, that I am going to a special hell...

[ edited by Le Comité on 2006-02-16 19:34 ]
well, it seems Ellis himself believes it's Joss

Hah! So it was really him? I just couldn't be 100% sure. But he must've said something in that mail that Ellis is so utterly convinced. Guess the poking-fun-at-fans-tone that it had was indeed actually poking fun at how-Ellis'-sees-fans. (which isn't 100% wrong hehe. Hell I'm one of them myself. Except for the dressing up part and the send-my-bits part. I keep my bits)

'There will of course, be revenge', hehehe. Some good-natured ribbing between Joss and Warren is too fun to comtemplate! Let the games commence!
I emailed Warren Ellis ages ago over that Amber Benson business and to my utter amazement and delight he replied.

I'm still holding out for Orbiter to made into a movie and I'd have a secret desire to see Warren writing Serenity comic books.
'There will of course, be revenge', hehehe. Some good-natured ribbing between Joss and Warren is too fun to comtemplate! Let the games commence!


Heh, I was writing something along the same lines but got a phonecall in between, so now I'll just agree with you Ed. Here's hoping this drags on, 'cause it sounds like fun to me ;-).
Are we going to see postings here by Warren Ellis soon? Smack-talking on our Joss and Slutty the Vampire Layer?? I'm so there!
That comments section is hilarious and it's still going on "Look, everybody. Joss and Warren are avoiding writing. "

I'll add that news to the subject line.
Joss' reply to Warren:
Joss Whedon Says:
February 16th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Revenge, eh? So, mister Ellis — (swishes brandy in large glass) — let the games begin, unless they are games of skill, or physical exertion of any kind, or with math. I know the bitter bitter truth, why you are so threatened by my genius, my, class, my big glass of brandy. It’s because you’re so OLD, so terribly terribly OLD, isn’t it! Mountains were hills when you were middle-aged. I hear you left your wife for a younger, trophy Cromagnon. And that you’re… that a young person would find you strange, and… from many years of… you being… DAMN! This round to you, Ellis. But the game is far –(drains Brandy, gasps like beached whale) — from over.


Let the games begin. Almost what I said and what GVH wanted to say. I will now be very annyoing in my ludicrous pretense that I have touched greatness.....

Seriously, this whole thing is making my day. I can't stop picturing Joss with the glass of brandy, swirling it like a Bond villain. (And am I the only one who hears Stewie's Griffin's voice when reading? Especially at the end?)

[ edited by EdDantes on 2006-02-16 20:40 ]
It's so funny. All we need now is Joss appearing in this thread to reassure us it really is him.

Not avoiding writing. No sir, not at all.
Man is everyone checking that thread? They're going back and forth now and it's frikkin' hilarious! I'm not getting anything done! I'm just refreshing!

Course, looks like I'm not the only one not getting anything done....;-)
I think we're in the middle of something great. We can say "we were there" to our grandchildren. Or something like that.
You're forgiven, Ed. When Joss is on, all else stops.
Oh wow...I never thought I would see something like this. haha
Wow, I didn't know how vulgar Brits could be...And I didn't know that you don't know the term 'quotation marks'....
You're forgiven, Ed. When Joss is on, all else stops.

Including guys like me typing words that include 'gasm' apparently. To think I was going to go for 'orgasm' but decided to bring it back, but nnoooo, any ole gasm is out!

Pity they stopped though, I was wondering how many mock titles of 'Astonishing X-Men' they could come up with! I can't pick between Anglosaxon X-tracrispy or Astronomical X-Cash!

Well, my month has been made. Grins for weeks straight.
"# Joe Q. Says:
February 16th, 2006 at 7:53 pm

GET BACK TO WORK!

*Lights cuban cigar with 100$ dollar bill*"

could that possibly be Joe Quesada? this is so bizarro. Worlds are colliding! ;)
I loved it. Wish Joss'd do that here. Stream of consciousness blabbing. And they so brought the funny. Heh, noticed your 'gasm comment and how it was received! :D
Clearly the magnitude of it all escapes me, 'cause, you know, comic books and me don't gel, but I liked this: "And he doesn’t have to run his own website to look big and clever on the internets."

*grin*
Rogue Slayer, I suspect young 'Warner' picked up those nasty ideas from watching too much HBO. In fact, that website may be their first appearance in the British Isles (*kicks Derek and Clive LPs under the bed*).

And yep, sometimes we call 'quotation marks' 'inverted commas' or 'speech marks'. I think it may be the weight of history pressing on our heads and making us strange ;).

That whole interchange was a little bit of magic. Second the team-up suggestion. How could it not be pure class ?
Heh, Caroline, I noticed that as well. A little 'site envy' on Warren's part maybe? :)
Wow... that was seriously the most funny to be had in that short of a time. Good stuff. My friends will hear of this for sure.
lol, that was just too funny. This should definitely happen more often :)
Wheee! Okay, that was both hilarious and deeply, deeply disturbing. I enjoyed it muchly. Of course, returning here kinda late, means Ed had yet again made most of the points I could've made if my timing did not suck. I think I may hate him a little, now (or I might just be overplaying it for a sense of fun, but I'll leave that for others to decide).

To quote one in particular:

I was wondering how many mock titles of 'Astonishing X-Men' they could come up with! I can't pick between Anglosaxon X-tracrispy or Astronomical X-Cash!


Agreed. That's all.
I think Warren Ellis, Joss Whedon and Joe Quesada should live in a house together and they could make a sitcom out of it called 'Make Mine Marvel'. And I'm thinking too much about this really.
Ow, ow, ow! I'm all hurt all over from laughing and the stuff!
Ed I pissed myself laughing at your gasm comment and the way it was taken! Ha!
Must say this is lovely to wake up to this morning. I do so love the silly. Bless 'em. So much funny.

Are you kidding? This is the most writing I’ve done in months.

(Warner Brothers execs don’t come here, do they?)

Ha!

[ edited by nixygirl on 2006-02-17 00:24 ]
I think Warren Ellis, Joss Whedon and Joe Quesada should live in a house together and they could make a sitcom out of it called 'Make Mine Marvel'

And dear Cassaday will be in the basement??
I think Warren Ellis, Joss Whedon and Joe Quesada should live in a house together and they could make a sitcom out of it called 'Make Mine Marvel'

And dear Cassaday will be in the basement??


Alan Moore could be their curmudgeonly neighbour who keeps painting magical sigils on the garage door and sneaking in to deconstruct their scripts while they're asleep. Obviously, Mark Millar will play the wacky illegal alien pizza delivery boy.
I hear the makings of a great webcomic. Now only if I could draw (or write jokes)...
But the game is far –(drains Brandy, gasps like beached whale) — from over.
Is Joss channelling Andrew??
Whoa...came to this thread way late in the game...there are many reasons I come to Whedonesque...and this is definitely one of them.

Went to a (don't know if it was "the"--those are quotation marks, not inverted commas, by the way) Comicon when I was a kid...it was held in NYC, way before most of the posters on this thread were born...met Jack Kirby, Howard Chaykin (spelling)...was a big deal...don't remember anybody in costume, though. But it was only 1970 or 71...walked into Marvel HQ when I was 15 or 16 and met Roy Thomas, too...should have asked for a job...

I think I'm with Warren!

[ edited by Chris inVirginia on 2006-02-17 02:40 ]
Ed had yet again made most of the points I
could've made if my timing did not suck.

It is your curse, accept it;-)

Ed I pissed myself laughing at your gasm comment and the way it was taken! Ha!

Who knew the Joss was sensitive to gasms??;-)

Alan Moore could be their curmudgeonly neighbour who keeps painting magical sigils on the garage door and sneaking in to deconstruct their scripts while they're asleep.

Okay that image made me do a spit-take!

I think I'm with Warren!

Yeah in that you're old! OLD you hear me?!................okay, so I'm just hideously jealous that you met those people. Grrr...
Yeah, EdDantes, I had balls enough to just walk into 635 Madison Ave and amazingly enough was on the elevator with Roy...could stammer, yammer, but should have said, "May I carry things around the office in hopes of maybe carrying more important things down the line?"

I saw and chatted with Stan Lee in '95 at a trade show...wasn't quite so overwhelmed...whelmed, to be sure, but not overmuch.

By the way, the big talk at that comicon way back when was, does The Vision have, um, what takes to satisfy the Scarlet Witch?

Okay, no costumes, but nerds, yes, indeed!
Yeah, EdDantes, I had balls enough to just walk into 635 Madison Ave and amazingly enough was on the elevator with Roy...could stammer, yammer, but should have said, "May I carry things around the office in hopes of maybe carrying more important things down the line?"

Cool beans! And yeah, people have actually started out that way. I think Peter David started out as assistant sales manager at Marvel.

Roy Thomas, yeah I am old enough to also remember him as one of THE guys at the time. Apart from him being editor-in-chief that is.

I saw and chatted with Stan Lee in '95 at a trade show...wasn't quite so overwhelmed...whelmed, to be sure, but not overmuch.

You know I can see that. He's all legendary and stuff, for the obvious reasons, and he's a nice guy reportedly, and hat's off for being so damn energetic and enthused as he is at 80+, but personally...I always got a bit of that 'car salesman' feel with his public style.

By the way, the big talk at that comicon way back when was, does The Vision have, um, what takes to satisfy the Scarlet Witch?

I am also old enough to to fully remember those days, hehehe. And apparently, he did. 'Fully functional' and all that.

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